


Please, just be happy

by RedSnow1



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Achilles Tolliver - Freeform, Adorable, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Hurt Newt Scamander, London, Love Triangle, MACUSA | Magical Congress of the United States of America, Mutual Pining, New York, Newt X Tina, Searching for Happiness, Slow Burn, lost tina goldstein, newtina, star crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2019-11-04 08:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 66,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17895311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnow1/pseuds/RedSnow1
Summary: After the event of Paris, Newt Scamander insists on meeting Tina’s lover : Achilles Tolliver, who happens to be a formidable man. The two of them begin an earnest friendship based on their shared passion (which involves a certain female Auror) much to Tina’s delight. Everything is as perfect as it can be : the only problem is that Newt and Achilles are in love with the same woman, and Porpentina Goldstein is torn between the love of her life and the man of her dreams.Of course, this is a Newtina story.





	1. What Wouldn't I do for you ?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there friends,
> 
> I am finally back with my biggest work ever, so buckle up, because we are in for one hell of a ride ! I must warn you, this will be very angsty BUT it will have a happy ending (and perhaps a sequel one day, If I manage to get this done, who knows !)
> 
> I will publish one chapter every week on Saturdays. So far I have my first 10 chapters written, and I hope I will be able to keep this up.
> 
> Quick reminder that English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes you might find. I try my best but I was not corrected for this story. It all mine.
> 
> Also, I would like to thank Beatrice for her undying enthusiasm for this story. If it weren't for her reactions and sweet notes, I wouldn't have gotten this far, so thank you so much <3
> 
> Now, please, do enjoy, and don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts about that first chapter !

_ There is nothing more endearing than seeing Porpentina Goldstein working, _ Newt Scamander thought, as he observed her from the sofa. Half-hidden behind the book he had decided to read, he had found himself quite unable to follow the course of his thrilling story, overwhelmed by her beauty. She seemed so focused and calm, sat across her chair cross-legged, her elbow heavily resting on the wooden table. Her dark hair that was now longer, shoulder-length, constantly falling on her eyes, and with the flick of her wrist, and a simple twist of her hand, she had gathered her locks into a messy ponytail. He had to admit that he really enjoyed seeing her so relaxed. She was still wearing her Auror clothes, a comfortable white shirt that highlighted her slender body, and black plain trousers. She had gotten rid of her shoes as soon as she had gotten home with a satisfied sigh which he always found rather charming. Newt smiled, admiring her concentrated features as she did all the paperwork of her ongoing cases. He adored the way she kept on biting her lips, captivated by her files, how her face scrunched up whenever she found something that was not to her liking. After many hours of observation, the British wizard had noticed how, when she immersed herself into her huge pile of papers, her hand would find a single lock, just before her ear, and twirl it on her index, thinking.

Newt always tried his best to remain quiet whenever she was working. He knew she liked to do that before dinner so that they were free to go out later, and he respected her will since he was merely just a guest in her apartment. He had been around for about a week, and still had three more to go before heading back to London. The ministry had finally removed his travel ban for good, thanks to his brother’s insistence, and he had decided, after the event in Paris, to sail to America as much as he could, to check on Tina.

Of course, the two of them had begun to write to each others again, during those long months apart. But he had made his duty to spend as much time with her as he could, hoping that his presence would reassure her. At first, he had thought staying at Jacob’s apartment, but the witch had insisted he could stay at 679 West 24th Street with her. She offered her sofa, he asked for a spot to drop his case safely, asserting that he was used to sleeping near his beasts and that he didn’t want to bother yer. At first, he indeed used his shack to spend the night, but the more he stayed, the more he elected the couch as his bed. Ever since Queenie had abandoned her, Tina had been feeling rather lonely, despite Jacob and Achilles daily visits, so whenever the ministry allowed it, Newt would make the trip, hoping to see her smile.

It never missed. She always threw herself in his arm whenever he disembarked from the boat, his case in hand. And for a minute, just a minute, the Magizoologist could bury his nose in her soft hair, appreciating its the delightful fragrance of her shampoo. He could close his eyes, and hold the woman he loved close, feeling the warmth of her entire body pressed against his. He would hold her so close against his chest he could sometimes feel her heart pounding just like his. And each time, it felt like a dream he never wanted to wake up from.

But eventually, reality always rushed back to him.

Porpentina Goldstein was with someone else. Someone he had never met : she had made sure of that. They were colleagues and worked on the same missions everyday but whenever Newt was around, they didn’t seem to go out much. At least, no man had knocked on the door ever since he had arrived, so there was no way he would have met the infamous Achilles Tolliver. He hadn’t minded at first. It was probably better that way. Now he was wondering why all the secrecy. Who was this Achilles Tolliver he had heard so much about ? Jacob had assured him that the Auror was a nice fellow who treated Tina with respect, but the more he kept on hearing his name, his actions and heroic gestures, the more Newton Scamander was curious about the man. How did he look like ? What did he like to do?

How did he manage to win the  brunette’s heart ?

He sighed, snapping out of his reverie only to notice that she was staring at him strangely, her right eyebrow quirked. She had stopped writing on her papers, had dropped the pen for what seemed like quite some time. How long had she been looking at him, noticing that he hadn’t been reading ? He flushed, hiding behind the pages filled with words he didn’t even want to understand. Tina’s face broke into a smile.

 

“May I ask what’s on your mind, Mister Scamander ?” She asked, genuinely curious.

 

_ You. _

_ And him _ . He thought, but never uttered the words at loud, fortunately.

They were so many things he wished he could tell her, so many times it had almost escaped his throat. If only she knew everything that was left unsaid. If only she knew how many times he had tried to hush up the nature of his feelings… She would hate him. It would be highly inappropriate of him.

Still, he wanted to tell her that she hadn’t left his thoughts ever since their goodbyes on the docks, a few years prior. Wanted to let her know how, for months, he had been looking for the shimmer he had seen in her eyes, failing to find something quite like it. He could have been bluntly honest and told her that she was always on his mind, no matter where he was, what he did. He carried her memory with him at all times.

His hand shot to his breast pocket, where he knew he would find, carefully folded, the picture from the newspaper he had shown her back in the French Ministry of Magic. That marvelous picture of her he had stumbled upon in his brother’s office a while back.

Newt remembered how, as he had been invited to visit Theseus’ office to discuss further on his meeting with Grindelwald, he had noticed the newspaper on the very tidied desk. It was opened at the right page, where her beauty had drawn his attention. His sibling had noticed how his entire face had gone  pale, then had taken a deep shade of crimson, but couldn’t understand what had been going on. Newt hadn’t answered any of his questions, not quite ready to admit his growing feelings for a certain american witch : he wanted to keep this incredible emotion for himself a while longer, to enjoy the butterflies spreading free from his stomach without having to worry about his entire family knowing about that.

Later that day, he had requested the newspaper from his brother who had been done with it. The British Auror had given it to him, unknowingly making him the happiest man on earth.

After reading the article with a wide smile, the magizoologist had carefully cut out her face, letting his mind fantasize about her whereabouts, blushing as he observed every single details he could grasp from the poorly detailed photography.

Feeling the soft paper neatly resting against his beating heart, he smiled of relief before leaning his hand on his thigh, innocently. Of course, Tina didn’t know that he constantly carried it with him, whether it was inside of his case or in the pocket of his coat. Sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder what she would think if she found out, one day. Would she be mad ? Touched ? He truly hoped for the latter.

 

“Oh… Don’t worry. It’s nothing important.” He whispered, before feigning reading his book once more, hoping she would let it go, and go back to work.

 

But Porpentina Goldstein never let things go. She digs more and more into the dirt until she unravels the truth in its purest form, which is the side he admired most about her. She didn’t let go, didn’t back down : she was extraordinary.

She had closed all of her files neatly, and seemed to be done with “homework” as she liked to call it, her head resting on her palm as she processed what he had answered her, shrugging at his vague response.

It was almost eight, and usually, at this hour, they would spent a few minutes trying to decide whether they wanted to go out to eat or bake something together. Tina seemed to be quite fond of eating outside after a rather long day at work. Newt preferred a homemade meal that allowed them to share a private moment. Most of the time, Newt took care of dinner, for he was a better cook and wanted to thank his host as much as he could. While she was at work, he had nothing else to do than tend to his creatures, visit the muggle part of New York and try to make her life easier by taking care of simple chores. Fixing her a nice plate every night was his greatest pleasure. Seeing a smile on her face made it worthwhile.

Tonight was different, though. Tonight, Jacob had invited the two of them over for dinner, luring them with the names of the many dishes he had prepared. They had both accepted immediately, eager to spend some time with their muggle friend. With his bakery and everything he was going through, the  sweet working man barely had time to see them as often as he wished. Tina and Newt had tried to visit him every day at his shop, where he offered them a couple of his delicious pastries. Jacob was always delighted to see them together, walking side by side, happily chattering about. He had expressed one evening, how much it warmed his heart to be reunited with those who meant the world to him.

“In dark times, all we need is good friends by our side” And he had been right.

Newton Scamander smiled. Soon, they would be reunited. Just like a few years ago, only…

Everything was different.

Queenie wasn’t here.

Tina was seeing another man.

 

“I can hear the racking of your brain. It’s distracting.” She chuckled, staring at him with her beautiful dark eyes.

 

The soft smiled she offered him made his heart tremble as he ran away from her glance. He blushed furiously, head down, almost sorry for his behavior and intense staring. He really hadn’t meant to be rude, or inappropriate. He couldn’t refrain himself from being absolutely enthralled by her entire being. Like Icarus with the sun, he needed to be closer and closer to her, even if it meant getting burnt. Even if it meant falling down and getting hurt.

Their proximity and renewed friendship was frequently too much for him to bear. So overwhelming for one soul to experience. Of course, he enjoyed being close to her, being able to accompany her in every step of her way for a few weeks. He liked how comfortable she had become around him, letting herself act more natural whenever he was around. 

Tina was the light of his days : the perspective of spending weeks with her meant everything to him. But he wished every words she said had a different meaning. He wished he could more than her friend. More than an ally. He yearned for their touches to mean something else entirely. Wanted the tenderness to involve romantic feelings instead of true friendship, which he was, of course, incredibly grateful for.

Newton Scamander sighed. Why did he always desire what he could never have ? Why did he love women that were out of his reach ?

He had stood a chance, once, not so long ago. What had changed ? How could a simple article damage her so much she could doubt his affection for a second ? He shook his head, trying to get rid of these unanswered questions that would only lead him nowhere.

He had to let go. To let her go. He couldn’t keep chasing for something that could never happen. Couldn’t keep fighting if there was nothing to fight for. But he had to be sure, first, that she would be alright. That he was enough for her. That he would take care of her no matter what, even when he will be gone.

Because one day, he would.

The wizard sadly focused back on the woman in front of him who was now standing, her papers in hands, suggesting they would get ready for tonight. Not that they needed to wear anything fancy, but dressing for the occasion wouldn’t hurt anyone.

She was about to enter her bedroom, the one she used to share with Queenie, when Newt stopped her, hastily.

 

“If that’s alright with you —” He began, not quite trusting himself with his choice of words. He stopped, huffed, remembering the words he had rehearsed so many nights ago, the words Jacob had tried to help him with. “I would really like — I mean it would be my pleasure to meet your —” Fellow ? Friend ? Lover ? What were they? And more importantly, what would they become ? He sighed. ‘Well the auror you are seeing .”

 

Porpentina Goldstein stopped in the middle of the living room, her back turned on him, frozen. Her gracious hand was clutching her wand forcefully. For a minute, Newton Scamander feared he might have been too forward in his request. Maybe it was unconventional of him to ask, maybe people didn’t ask to meet their friend’s partners, especially when they had been in love with them for years ? It seemed strange now that he thought about it from her point of view. 

Head down, he began to think of a way to escape this very awkward situation : her lack of response wasn’t making this any easier. If he could have disappeared in any way, he would have, even though he was used to those situation. He could always pretend to have forgotten something in his case ?  That could be a wise idea. Weren’t they out of coffee ? He could go fetch some. His hands began to shake and he clasped them together in a desperate attempt to hide the way his mind was overtaking his body. Her silence was too loud, her stillness overwhelming. He was about to tell her that he had forgotten to feed his nifflers when she suddenly turned around, frowning, suspicious. 

 

“You—You actually want to meet Achilles ?” Her voice was shrill from confusion and surprise, even though she had taken a few minutes to collect herself. She was an open book to him, and he could feel how taken aback she was because of his clumsy question. 

 

“Very much so.” He shyly answered, trying to appear assured. It didn’t work, for his voice was shaking. “It doesn’t have to be now — It doesn’t have to be at all if you are not comfortable with it, Tina. I wouldn’t want that —” Newt stopped, out of breath, and in front of her confusion, he ran a hand through his tousled hair and added in a wobbly tone. “To make you uncomfortable.” Which was obviously not working, from what he could see. Tina’s hand rested on her hips as she seemed to consider his request, biting her lips. 

 

“All I am saying is that…” He continued, wondering whether he should explain his strange behavior or not. “I wish to meet him because — Well…” He sighed, loudly, before looking directly into her eyes. “If he is important to you then — then he is important to me.” 

 

It was perhaps the worst sentence he had ever came up with, but somehow, it did seem true.  He had whispered it with a shaky breath, like it pained him to utter those words, and somehow, it did. Newton Scamander smiled bitterly, mostly for himself, as a desperate attempt to convince himself that Achilles was important to him. After all, he seemed to make his dearest Tina more than happy. The happiest he had ever seen her ever since he had met her. Ever since that day at the docks.

It was in the past.

Achilles Tolliver was her present. The wizard knew that he was the kind of man ready to renounce to his own shiny future by her side and leave her be as long as she was undoubtedly and unconditionally happy with him. That’s all he wanted for her. Tina deserved the best, and maybe he wasn’t the one who could give her that. Maybe…

He would give it all up. For her. 

It was perhaps why everything seemed to hurt.

The Auror smiled softly, appreciating his efforts and concealed declaration of friendship. Or what she thought it was.

 

“He is.” She whispered, before touching a single lock of dark hair, right next to her ear. The same lock he had touched so many months ago. That same strand of hair he so despondently wanted to reach for, one more time, for old time’s sake. He shrugged. She twisted it absently, oblivious of his state of mind for a couple of minutes, before finally heading to the bedroom to change into something for the dinner to come.

She left without any further words.

She left him alone with his raging thoughts.

 

Newton Scamander watched the love of his life stroll away with an achy heart, limp on the sofa.  He observed how graceful each of her steps were, how her hair would delicately bounce around her face, how she seemed to be walking on sunshine. She was utterly beautiful. There was no other words for it. She was everything. His everything.

The door closed behind her, and he stared at it for a couple of minutes, processing her last word.

 

“He is” He whispered sadly, heading towards his case.

 


	2. Does Achilles Tolliver like to read ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt, accompanied by his best friend Jacob, gets to meet the infamous Achilles Tolliver during dinner. And while parts of him desperately wants to hate the guy, he can't help but see why she chose him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys !
> 
> First of all, I wanna thank you for your lovely comments on my first chapter ! You have no idea how much it means to me ! I am glad you are intrigued by my story, and I hope I won't disappoint. Besides, Tina may be dating Achilles at the moment, but since it's a Newtina slow-burn, they will end up together, just you wait ;)
> 
> Quick reminder that English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes you might find. I try my best but I was not corrected for this story. It's all mine.
> 
> I just finished writing chapter 14 yesterday, and will begin chapter 15 today. I'm very excited to share this story with you guys ! I hope you will like this chapter as well !
> 
> Enjoy <3

“You look nervous.” Jacob whispered, while jabbing his elbow into his friend’s ribs to get his full attention.

 

The baker had been talking for a full ten minutes about his work, and how he missed a certain blond witch before he had noticed that his interlocutor wasn’t listening. He was used to it by now, and knew that his British friend wasn’t exactly the best at listening to confessions for his mind was most of the time, elsewhere. Not that he could blame him, he knew how anxious the British wizard had to be. He could feel it from the way he kept on rocking himself on his chair, eyeing at the door, obviously concerned.

The No-Maj’ had managed to force his friend into wearing a formal suit for the occasion : they were having dinner in one of the most fancy Muggle restaurant of New York City. He had chosen a blue suit, since he seemed particularly fond of that color. Jacob thought it looked nice and most certainly highlighted the freckles that dotted on his face.

Wincing from the pain, Newt Scamander slightly jumped from his chair, startled, snapping back to reality. His hand came to rub his aching right side, as he shook his head to get rid of the unwanted thoughts that kept on crossing his mind. He shot Jacob an apologetic look ; he hadn’t noticed his friends monologue, nor the fact that the restaurant was getting more and more crowded, and most certainly not the way time had passed by. He had been lost in his mind, trying to remain calm while his heart and soul screamed for him to run away. He peeked at his wrist watch, frowning.

Tina was late. Had she forgotten ? Somehow, he was truly beginning to hope she had. The British wizard had spend hours trying to convince himself that he was in fact, ready for this. He most clearly was not.

 

Not tonight.

Not ever.

Tonight was the night he was supposed to meet the infamous Achilles Tolliver.  

Tonight, he had so much on his mind, for he wasn’t sure how he wanted this very strange meeting to go on. Part of him wanted to hate the man who had stolen the woman who owned his heart. Part of him hoped they would get along, for Tina’s sake. He was torn between his own desires and Tina’s happiness, though he was pretty sure he knew which one would win. He would do anything for her. Was there a way to behave in those sort of events ?

He sighed, eyeing at the man that stood next to him, facing the entrance. Jacob Kowalski had agreed to accompany him to this dinner, out of brotherhood. His presence reassured him somehow. Maybe it was in his warm smile or kind eyes ? Maybe it was in the aura he emitted : something soothing, and reassuring that made him feel that no matter what would happen, he would be fine. Newt was incredibly grateful to have such a man in his life, a friend he could always rely on, that understood him without uttering an ounce of judgement. A friend that pushed him forwards instead of dragging him into the mud. Without Jacob, he wouldn’t have come. He wouldn’t have been able to.

Yes. He was such an incredible friend to have by his side.

And so here they were, inside this fancy restaurant, with nothing but a bottle of water in front of them, just the two of them waiting for the new lovers to appear. They were supposed to come straight after work. Had they been held back ? Somehow, he wished they did.

 

“I am nervous.” He bluntly admitted, fidgeting on his seat as he focused on the front door that was very much closed.

 

His feet were shaking on their own, his palms were sweaty, and the bow-tie he had hanged around his neck was way too tight to his liking. With his trembling fingers, he tried to loosen the knot, but failed. His shoulders fell. It was too hot, too much for him to take. On top of that, he was starting to feel uneasy in this sumptuous restaurant : he wasn’t dressed to impress, and most certainly didn’t belong here. Why would Tina invite them here ? She knew he wasn’t exactly comfortable in public places and would rather spend the evening locked in his case, or her apartment. He didn’t need fancy. He didn’t need dresses and suits. He only needed her.

Noticing the change in his demeanor, Jacob’s kind and understanding palm fell on his arm, in a vain hope to whisk his worries away.

 

“We can still head back.” He calmly suggested. “We could tell them you weren’t feeling well, that you needed —” He started, but stopped as they both saw the door opening at last.

Newt opened his mouth in awe, for what he saw in front of him was the most spectacular sight he had ever witnessed. Tina was here, belatedly. Tina was here, in all her glory in a dress she had never wore in front of him before — not that she wore a lot of dresses whenever they went out, but it had happened a few times. The wizard didn’t have to ask to know who had made it : it screamed Queenie all over it. Only the blonde witch seemed to know her sister’s body enough to make such a dazzling item of clothing, a dress that fitted her perfectly. It was a simple, yet elegant long dress that fell right below her narrow feet with grace. Queenie had chosen a dark green fabric, which suited her brown hair and dark eyes, highlighting the clear shade of her skin. There was no glitter, no unnecessary lace : the brunette wouldn’t have worn it otherwise. It was plain, and it met her slender body with perfection, highlighting her curves beautifully.

She had gathered her curled hair into a low bun, but some locks had already escaped and cascaded down her long neck that held a small necklace he suspected had belonged to her mother. The Auror had applied some makeup ; not much, just enough for her eyes to appear deeper, and for her mouth to pop. Her glance fell on him, and he held his breath. A joyful smile sprayed on her lips and he was lost. How she managed to stop the heavy beating of his heart with a simple grin would always remain a mystery to him. She was breathtaking. Newt had never seen her that way. Dazzling.

He almost didn’t notice the man that accompanied her.

Yet, he was here as well.

Tina turned her head towards him, taking his arm before heading their way. That’s when Newt finally acknowledged his presence.

Achilles Tolliver —  or what he thought was him — was a rather large man, well-groomed with golden curls meticulously done. He kept his hair short, yet, one messy lock had escaped his comb and was falling gracefully on his large forehead. He had picked what appeared to be an expensive black and green suit that matched her dress, wore very casual loafers that clicked at his every steps. As the pair walked closer, the British wizard was able to distinguish light blue eyes that conveyed nothing but calm and kindness, and lips that only seemed capable to smile. He had a straight and delicate nose, and his facial hair was carefully shaved, for his entire face appeared to be neat. He didn’t have a moustache even though Newt had heard they were quite trendy in America. He wasn’t particularly handsome, nor charming, but the kindness he exuded was enough to make him understand why she had chosen him.

He looked like a nice fellow. But there was more to appearances, and that, the British wizard was painfully aware of it.

Once more, Jacob jabbed his friend’s ribs to notify him that he was being rude by staring at the newcomers. Startled, Newt suddenly stood up, almost knocking the untouched bottle of water that proudly laid on the table, and made his way towards the two MACUSA Aurors with great difficulty. He stopped in front of Tina, not sure of what to do, fidgeting with the pocket of his vest where his dear Pickett usually rested. Creatures were not allowed on the premises, and he had had to leave him behind. How was he supposed to greet her ? He couldn’t bring himself to engulf her into a tight hug for it would seem out of place in front of the man she was seeing. Instead, he bowed his head to her, flushed.

 

“Tina, you — you look —” He managed to whisper in a strangled voice.

 

They were too many words that could describe her at that moment. Charming. Gorgeous. Lovely. Exquisite. Stunning. Magnificent. Alluring. Splendid. Those were the words he wished would cross his throat. Yet, none of them seemed to bring her justice. He couldn’t exactly describe how she looked to him without offending her. Or offend Achilles. He couldn’t know, really.

But her dress made her look like a refined Common Welsh Green, glorious, yet, quiet dragon he particularly appreciated, and the silver necklace she was wearing shone like a Ramora scale. Her eyes — he had managed to tell her — her eyes reminded him of Salamanders, as they seemed to burn in water and her fair skin looked just as soft as the Puffskein's fur.

He wanted to tell her that she reminded him of Frank, his thunderbird, whenever he saw her at work, fierce and strong, battling her wings to rise above all. More than anything, he wanted her to know that even unicorns weren’t as iridescent as she was. And just like unicorns, he couldn’t reach for her. Not because she was afraid, and didn’t like him. But because she was already taken.

He could find a thousand similarities between his beasts and her. He could continue to play this game forever in his mind for it was his favorite. But the result always remained the same.

She was undoubtedly the most incredible, fascinating creature he had ever seen.

 

“ — nice.” He whispered.

 

Tina smiled bashfully. Newt froze, mentally wishing he were dead. Before he even had the time to make up for this comment, before he even had time to feel his cheeks burning with shame, a steady hand was presented to him. It seemed strong, the nails were manicured. It belonged to the one Achilles Tolliver he had again, completely forgotten about, in the rush of his mind. Hesitating,  Newt shook the hand, grimacing when he noticed that his palms were still sweaty from his previous nervousness.

 

“You must be the Mr. Scamander I hear so much about. I am Achilles Tolliver, though you may call me Archie if you want.” The man said with a confident, yet soothing voice.

 

“Newt. Pleased to — erm — pleased to meet you, Mr. Tolliver.” The British wizard answered, trying his best not to stutter too much. He wanted, after all, to make a good impression.

 

Before he could think of anything to add, Achilles had pulled back a chair for Tina, which Newt would have done if he hadn’t frozen up on the spot. They all sat around the table, Newt surrounded by both Jacob and Tina — much to his relief—  and facing Achilles whose glance he fled.

Dinner went quietly at first, for neither of them were absolutely comfortable around each others. By the time they had ordered, Jacob had managed to defuse the tension by asking his american friends about their current investigations, which lead them to share some amusing event that had happened throughout the day. They laughed, and talked some more. Newt didn’t exactly listen to any of it — not that he wasn’t interested, he actually was ! —  but his entire being was focused on Porpentina’s laugh, audible and adorable. Did she knew that she had the habit of throwing her head back whenever she giggled ? Was she aware that it sounded like bells ringing ? He had to notify this to her, as soon as he would get the occasion. Or maybe not ? Maybe it would be inappropriate of him to say. Nevertheless, that was the kind of informations he absolutely needed write down on the notebook he kept with him at all times. In here, he kept all the little details about Porpentina Goldstein he had gathered over time. It wasn’t anything really. He wrote the little things he would want to remember when he would no longer be here. He sometimes accompanied his notes with a few sketches ; they were not good, he thought, since he was used to drawing beasts and not human, but they would have to do. He just needed to picture some of her expressions, the way the light shone in her eyes that particular day, so he could never forget.

So he would always remember. No matter what happened. He would always remember her that way.

He shrugged. They had almost finished their plates when he finally decided to pay attention to what was going on. And, as a matter of fact, Newt Scamander was quite interested in the conversations they shared. It had gravitated towards Grindelwald, of course, and the events in Paris. They avoided, of course, the burning subject that was Queenie’s betrayal for both Tina and Jacob’s sake. Nagini kept on sending the brunette letters to let her know where she was, and what she did. Her condition as a Maledictus raised the question of Newt’s magical creatures and future novels,  which seemed to catch the blond Auror’s attention.

The British wizard learnt that the man in front of him was incredibly fond of his work, and that his book had been the reason he and Tina had met. While the latter information wasn’t necessary to his taste, Newt Scamander allowed himself to share a deep conversation with Achilles about how both their governments had to protect magical creatures instead of killing them and forbid their breeding. For a moment, he forgot about his worries, his questions, and shared his knowledge and passion with someone that appeared to be very interested in his work. Tina watched their heated plea in favor of animal rehabilitation with a fond smile, her face resting on her chin as she went to and fro between the two man. Jacob, on the other way, seemed rather bored from not understanding most of their wizarding jargon, but seemed happy nevertheless whenever he heard about a creature he had met, eyes shining whenever they mentioned Dougal, The Demiguise.

 

“Do you like to read, Mr. Tolliver ? I thought you might, from the way you keep referencing to Muggle literature.” Newt suddenly asked, and three set of eyes settled on his face, for it was the first question that had dared cross his lips in the two hours they had spent eating.

 

They had eaten dessert already, and had found themselves ordering a cup of coffee each — obviously tea for Newt, who had taken a great pleasure at sipping his drink during the conversation.

 

“I do actually.” The American Auror answered, smiling from ear to ear. “I used to work in the Muggle Department for a while, and read a lot of their novels. To make sure that — You know — Nothing for our world had came through.” He chuckled lightly. “Quite an imagination they have. No offense, Jacob.”

 

“None taken.” The muggle answered, happy that his culture had been praised.

 

And for the rest of the night, they kept on talking about _Pride and Prejudice,_ and the amazing writing of the Bronte sister, of how Shakespeare had been close to discover the existence of the magical world. Legends said that he had to be obliviated as he had threatened to reveal the existence of this whole other world. They compared ancient Greece mythology with theirs. Achilles admitted that he had fallen in love with French literature and especially with writers such as Gustave Flaubert and Emile Zola, who wrote like no one else, to his opinion. He even promised he would hand the magizoologist his favorite book called _Madame Bovary_ , which Newt had agreed to immediately.

The British wizard was quite compelled to notice that Achilles was very educated and seemed passionate about literature, and the way the world evolved around him as much as he was. Much like Tina, he was not like any other Auror ; Achilles questioned his actions and fought for a better — safer world. Newt could see why they were together now : they shared the same view on life, on their jobs. And throughout dinner, he had discovered that they were not, in fact, very different from each others. They both wanted to protect the wizarding world and those they loved, both followed their passion and fought for them. And they obviously deeply cared about the same woman. Which was, perhaps, the most annoying feature in their resemblance.

By the time they had to part ways, Newt had already promised Achilles to show him the inside of his case — Tina had apparently praised his hard work and patience — and that he could sign his copy of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,_ to the blond wizard’s delight.

As the others were grabbing their coats to face the coldness of the night, Achilles ran towards the counter and paid for everybody’s meal, which he, later on, got reprimanded for. He insisted that it was his pleasure to make the acquaintance of Tina’s friends, and that it was his way of thanking them for everything they did for the woman he loved.

After warm goodbyes and promises to have dinner again, some time soon, Achilles went back to his apartment, a couple of blocks down, kissing his companion shyly, Jacob insisted that he was fine walking back home — he needed time to think, and Newt assumed it was about Queenie. Once everyone had left, Tina, draped in her dark shawl that covered her arms, held out her hand for Newt to grab. He did, not daring to look at her in the eyes while their fingers touched.

And so, Tina and Newt quietly apparated into the night, only to find themselves back to 679 West 24th Street.

 

It was already past midnight.

Newt wished the night never ended. Wished they could have stayed longer in that restaurant. Wished it wasn’t so late, that she didn’t have to go to work. His heart leapt in his chest, as he watched her yawn her exhaustion away. God — How could she be so beautiful ?

 

“I think he is a good person Tina — and that you two —” He stopped, out of words to say.

 

A soft yet sad smile sprayed on her lips. He sighed. He couldn’t say that he was happy they dated because he was not. And he would never be. But out of all the man in New York City, she had picked the second best he knew, the first, of course, being Jacob Kowalski.

She had chosen a good man with whom she could be happy with ; and that’s all that mattered to him. As long as she was happy…

 

“Goodnight, Newt.” She softly whispered, before heading towards her own bedroom.

 

“Sweet dreams Tina.” He whispered back, watching her retreat one more time to her room.

 

He made a nightmare that night.

He dreamt that Tina asked him to leave and never return.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading !  
> Don't hesitate to let me know what you thought of my chapter, I always read your comments with the happiest smile for it warms my heart. They make me keep going !  
> You can also find me on twitter @EvilMarie1 and on tumblr @anotherfrench if you have burning questions or just wanna talk !  
> I'll see you guys next week for chapter 3 :)
> 
> Also, in advance : Happy Birthday Katherine Waterston. We love you <3


	3. Friends with the Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Achilles Tolliver and Newt Scamander are getting closer, much to Tina's delight. Left alone with her thoughts for a night, the brunette finds herself questioning her feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there friends !
> 
> I know, it's not saturday, but I was feeling very happy today, and I had extra time to work on this chapter again, so I thought, why not surprise you with an unexpected update ? :D
> 
> Quick reminder that English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes you might find. I try my best but I was not corrected for this story. It's all mine.
> 
> Thank you so much for your enthusiasm for this story. I work very hard on it, and It really means the world to me to see how much you like it !
> 
> So, yeah, here's chapter 3, I hope you like it,
> 
> Happy reading friends ! <3

There was a sharp knock on 679 West 24th Street, at exactly twelve. Newt Scamander had then, fed all of his creatures and fought with Pickett for a while — the beasts had complained about his lack of attention lately ; he had indeed not been as present as he should have for his family, and with Bunty gone, they were starting to get lonely. After what seemed like forever, he had been out to get some groceries — Mostly coffee since he had heard Tina mentioning that she would have to get some more soon because she was running out. He knew how much she needed her morning cup, and how irritable it made her if she didn’t get it. Besides, today was a quiet November day, he had nothing else to do. After running some early errands and taken a walk down Central Park, he had started reading an interesting muggle novel Achilles Tolliver had recommended.

Over the past days, they had seen more of each others, briefly though, because all MACUSA was incredibly preoccupied by the sightings of Grindelwald in Europe. Each time their path had crossed had been, for the both of them, quite fulfilling. Besides, Tina seemed to be more than happy about their blossoming friendship ; she would never stop talking about it. He was glad he was able to put a smile on her face, for it came from the heart ; Newt actually liked spending time with Achilles which had felt strange at first, for he wasn’t exactly used to making friends. But it wasn’t unpleasant at all. Quite the contrary in fact.

All these thoughts, the warmth of the magical fire, the calm of the deserted apartment and the emptiness of a day without Tina had made him quite drowsy. Against his will, slumber had started to cripple its way to his body, and he had started to doze off, the book launched against his chest. Until the loud thump against the wooden door had woken him. Startled and not expecting any company, Newt suddenly arose from the couch that was also his bed, and stared at the locked door groggily.  He quickly ruffled his hair and rubbed his weary eyes. Usually, no one dared come before seven, for it was the time Tina finished work, unless it was for a special delivery. For a moment there, he imagined that Mrs. Esposito was on the other side of the landing, having noticed some light and music. So far, they had managed not to get discovered, quiet as they walked down the stairs. The landlady sometimes accepted Jacob and Achilles, but only during daylight and she waited for them to retire. Should she notice that there was a man staying at the Goldstein’s… the repercussion for Tina’s hospitality would be catastrophic. She could lose her home and all the memories that hanged between these walls.

He couldn’t do this to her. And so, his hand immediately went to grip his wand, as he whispered a revealing charm. The door faded, turning transparent only for him to see who was behind it. The enchantment unveiled an imposing body he knew quite well by now. The broad-shoulders, the posture : the one and only Achilles Tolliver was standing in the threshold, knocking enthusiastically.

Without thinking through, the British wizard ran to open the door, welcomed by a charming smile from the blonde Auror who engulfed him into a brotherly hug as soon as he saw him. Taken aback, Newt didn’t move and stopped breathing, not quite comfortable with unexpected human touches. Achilles’ strong arms crushed his lungs, and the way he kept on nudging him in a friendly way almost broke every bones he had. He smelled like cigarettes, which was not something Newt ordinarily appreciated, but it suited the man in front of him. Once free from his grasp, he finally managed to come back from his surprise, and stare at the joyful Auror still by the entrance.

 

“Hello — erm — Tina is not here —” He trailed off, obviously confused as to why the American wizard was standing here instead of being where he was supposed to be : investigating at MACUSA.

 

“Oh I know, no matter how hard I try, she never wants her lunch breaks. She’d rather eat hot dog at her desk while working on her cases.” He cheerfully said which made Newt chuckle lightly.

 

It did sound a lot like Tina. When he first visited her, a few months back, he had turned into an habit to come and meet her at her desk in MACUSA, hoping to share lunch with her. She had always been grateful when he brought her homemade sandwiches, or her favorite hotdog but admitted that she had to keep working. He didn’t mind her silence, for he was comfortable contemplating her while she tried to solve her cases. He would stay there for about an hour and silently get up to attend his business. Often, she would grab his wrist in a haste and whisper _“Thank you”_ while staring at him. A while his mind would find a thousand ways to tell her how much he enjoyed being in her presence, how he wouldn’t trade this for anything, his lips would only articulated a small _“you are welcome”_.

Newt suddenly shook his head : he had been lost in his thoughts he had barely noticed that Achilles had walked past him without being invited. Deep down, he was assured that Tina wouldn’t mind her beau barging in but somehow, he felt like he needed her authorization. It was, after all, her apartment they were in. He would have to ask, later.

The auror made his way inside the apartment, throwing his coat on the couch nonchalantly before sitting on a chair nearby, spreading his long legs in front of him. _He sure knew his way inside the apartment_ , Newt thought, as he followed his new friend in the dining room, and sat down, facing him. Had he visited often ? Had they — No, he couldn’t bring himself to think about that, and it wasn’t his business anyway. But before he even had time to think further, he was interrupted by the newcomer.

 

“Do you like Quidditch, Scamander ?” Tolliver started, out of the blue without even letting him know the reason he had come in the first place.

 

“I— yes — I do — very much.” The magizoologist answered, quite unsettled by this unscheduled visit and the questions he was being asked.

 

“I managed to get my hands on two tickets for the game tonight. Wanna come?”

 

Newt opened his mouth and closed it straight away. He had not been expecting any of this, yet, had he known that his supposed nemesis would have come here to ask him to go to a Quidditch game, he wouldn’t have believed it. There was something quite tempting, and something incredibly wrong. He would soon return to London. Why did he feel the need to be friendly to Achilles ? Somehow, part of his knew what he was trying to do : he was grasping at anything of hers, trying to be closer, to be a part of her life in the only way he knew he could be. He was trying to be her friend. To show her he cared, because he did. He wanted to be friends with Achilles — because of course, he was a great man who he would have loved to meet under different circumstances, but first and foremost because of Tina.

Tina who didn’t seem to notice how much it hurt to see her with another man, kissing him, hanging by his arm proudly. Tina who had moved on. How could she move on ? He always asked himself, wondering whether he had not been clear enough about his affection, whether she had changed her mind. Whether he was good enough for her.

 

“Shouldn’t you —” He whispered, but the Auror who had guessed his question didn’t even let him finish.

 

“Oh, Tina isn’t fond of it.” And it made sense. “ I didn’t know who else to ask, and I thought well— They would never let Jacob in, and I thought you would be interested.”

 

The British wizard took a minute to answer, weighing the pros and cons in his mind. Tina would be working late this night. He wouldn’t have anything else to do except feed his creature as soon as he got back. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea ? Maybe he needed some time out of the apartment. Some time out of his thoughts that inevitably always came back to his one and only love.

 

“Yes — I — I don’t see why not.” He heard himself answer.

 

* * *

 

Later that day, Porpentina Goldstein came back home to a quiet apartment which was, to say the least, unusual. Never in her life had she been accustomed to such suffocating quietude. The curtain were closed, the fire was off : it smelled like emptiness.

Her wand in her hand, she twirled her wrist and light appeared at the end of it, revealing the deserted room. She sighed. Before, Queenie was always around to bring joy, music and gossips with her singsong voice. Now that she was gone, she always had someone home with her, at daylight at least. It was either Achilles, Jacob, or Newt whenever he decided to visit. But no one seemed to be there. She sighed. Nights were always lonely.

For the past two weeks, she had come home to Newt Scamander either chasing around his Niffler or having an argument with his Bowtruckle which managed to bring a smile on her face, no matter how her day had went on. Even in her darkest hours, he made her days brighter.

For the past two weeks, she had come home, exhausted and dinner had been made, the table set : he would be waiting for her on the couch, welcoming her with the warmest smile. And it felt good. It felt good to have someone around, worrying about her, waiting for her, happy to see her. It felt good to have him around.

 

“Newt ?” She called out, hoping to hear his reassuring voice from the bathroom.

 

She heard nothing. His case was gone. The blanket was carefully folded on the end of the couch, the pillows back where they belonged. It was like he had never been here at all. Not a single of his belongings were on display, not a single things seemed out of place. There was simply no traces of his presence. Her heart lurched. Had he even been here at all? Had he left ? Without telling her ?

That was not his typical behavior but yet, things had been different between the two of them lately, and she didn’t know what to expect from him anymore. He was — tender. Always tender around her. So protective and understanding. Yet everything felt so — strange. Like he was pulling away and putting some distance between them. She couldn’t blame him — she could understand how much it pained him to see her with Achilles. Actually, she knew how he felt because she had been through this with Leta, only to learn later on, that he had never broken his promises to her. Tina sighed. She loved Newt in a way she was not sure she could understand — and the thought of him gone was breaking her heart. And she hated herself for it. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. Not when she had someone like Achilles Tolliver standing by her side. Someone she affectionated that much. Sometimes, she wished Queenie were here. She would know what to do with this situation and understand the never ending swinging of her heart.

Was Newt gone ? No, he wouldn’t do this. He was too nice and too loyal. Where could he be? Why wouldn’t he tell her ?

She made her way into the room, throwing her coat on the nearest chair. She noticed that the table was only set for one, and that what seemed like dinner was prepared, proudly placed in the center of the table. Something inside her trembled upon realizing that he had thought of her before leaving — wherever he went. On her plate, she acknowledged the presence of a small folded paper with her name on it. It was the curvy, small handwriting she knew oh-too-well. It was Newt’s. She raced to get it, unfolding it with her shaky hands.

 

_Tina,_

 

_I went to the game with Archie and will be back shortly after midnight. Please, don’t wait up, I do not wish to cause your exhaustion._

_I apologize for telling you this late, this was rather a late decision and I didn’t want to bother while you worked._

_I truly hope you had a brilliant day. You must tell me all tomorrow._

_I made you dinner,_

_— Newt._

 

She sighed, out of relief, sliding into the chair, flicking her wrist to warm up what his friend had cooked for her. It wouldn’t take long, she thought, as she heard her stomach voice its hunger. He was still here, in New York. He wouldn’t leave in another two weeks. And after that he would come back. He would always come back right ? She thought.

She stared at the food for a while, numbed by the silence that surrounded her. She eyed the gramophone at the other side of the room, and settled for a nice jazzy melody with a flick of her wrist, hoping the music would somehow chase her thoughts away. The fire was burning right behind her back, warming up her exhausted body that had gone through so much throughout the day. It had been a long, tiresome day and deep down, she had hoped she would be able to tell Newt about it. He had been the one here, with her, in Paris. He had been the one to hold her into his arms when she lost her sister to their greatest enemy. Today, she had learnt that she would be assigned to look for her sister on MACUSA’s behalf.

While her meal heated up, she pulled out some paperwork and tried to focus on Queenie’s last sightings.  She had a sister to find, a criminal to put behind bars, and no time to lose. She tried to commit to her case but it was hopeless : her mind was already occupied, trying to process the mixed feelings and deep care she felt for both of the men in her life. As to the way they loved them, she couldn’t say. It seemed different, yet she knew that she felt something strong for the both of them. She was tormented, confused. Lost.

She just wanted Queenie to be here.

She hoped the boys were having a great night together, and that the game was to their liking.

While it might have been delicious, the meal tasted like loneliness and regrets.

 

* * *

 

When Newt Scamander came back to the Goldstein’s that night, face painted with the american team colors — thanks to Tolliver —, he found the apartment filled with lights, music and a small body curled up on the sofa. The fire was still burning and her plate had been left on the table amongst her paperwork. She had been waiting for him, that much he could see. Even though he had asked her not too. It was predictable : no one told Porpentina Goldstein what to do.

A shy smile spread on his face as he moved towards the sleepy form wrapped in the blanket he had neatly folded before. His heart melted in front of her relaxed features and the way her mouth was slightly open to let out a peaceful breath. She was still wearing her clothes and even her shoes, perhaps too exhausted to even transfigure into her pyjamas. Her eyes were closed which allowed him to notice how long her eyelashes were, and how beautifully they laid on her cheek. Her now-long locks were falling all over her pretty face, and with a shaky hand, the British wizard removed them, letting his finger’s linger on her warm, soft cheek like he did so many moons ago.

Tina smiled in her slumber, and sought the warmth of his palm against her face, leaning into his touch with a sleepy sigh. He stopped breathing. He didn’t move, too scared to wake her up, too afraid to end this blessed moment : he remained there, kneeling in front of the couch, watching the woman he loved in her blissful sleep. Imagining waking up to this sight every morning.

He would never tire of seeing her that way. She was truly the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on.

He didn’t know how long he stayed, how much he stared, but she soon began to stir, feeling perhaps, an unknown presence and her wonderful eyes fluttered open. She didn’t flinch. Didn’t run away from his touch. She simply stared at him, her dark eyes drowsy.

 

“Newt ?” She whispered, her voice hoarse from her quiet rest. "You’re here ?".

 

The magizoologist smiled tenderly. Was it relief he heard in her voice ? Slowly, he rubbed his thumb across her cheek lightly, rocking her back to sleep. It seemed to work for her eyes couldn’t stay open for too long. He had never intended to disrupt her night and the dark circles under her eyes seemed to indicate that she was pushing herself too hard.  For a moment there, he wondered whether he should ask her to climb into her bed, knowing that she would probably sleep better but he didn’t have the courage to. She seemed so cozy on the couch. He would have to rest on his case but he didn’t mind : his creatures were waiting to be fed anyway.

 

“I’m here.” He stated, increasing the pressure he put on her skin to let her feel his presence.

 

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.” She admitted, eyes closed, already falling back into Morpheus’ arms.

 

He sighed, drawing back his hand. He had thought about this. So many times. Not that he would want to leave her that way — without saying goodbye. But he had thought about never returning to New York. She had Achilles now — she didn’t need him and he couldn’t stand being this close and not being able to reach her. It broke his heart to see how sad she had been thinking he had left. No — he would never leave her that way. She would have to be the one to push him out of her life, but as long as he breathed, as long as his heart beat… it would be to make Porpentina Goldstein’s life somehow happier.

 

“I’m not going anywhere — Not until you want me gone.” He told her, knowing fully well that she was already far away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and I will see you Saturday for Chapter 4.  
> Please, don't hesitate to tell me what you thought, it really makes me incredibly happy to see your reactions !


	4. The Music Stopped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt, Tina and Achilles find themselves into a muggle bar to celebrate Tolliver's quick recovery after an attack. The music is beautiful, people are dancing : Will they dare ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Hello my friends !
> 
> Thank you so much for your support on my story, I cannot find words to express how grateful I am for your lovely comments. I put so much work into this story, I am extremely pleased that you like it so much ! More than 100 kudos already ? It's crazy ! 
> 
> I'm almost done writing this fanfiction, I just began chapter 18 !
> 
> Anyway, back to business. This is a scene I have been wanting to write for quite some time now, so I hope you will like it ! Next week's will be a Tina-centric chapter, so brace yourselves my friends, because we are getting closer and closer to the real angst here.
> 
> Quick reminder that English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes you might find. I try my best but I was not corrected for this story. It's all mine.
> 
> Please, do enjoy your reading and don't hesitate to let me know what you thought of this chapter.

Newt Scamander’s third week in New York had been a rollercoaster of emotions. About a few days after the Quidditch game, the city had been targeted by some of Grindelwald’s followers who had tried to gather informations about Dumbledore and his plan — or so the Magical Congress had thought. Unexpectedly, they had decided to take down MACUSA, targeting the President, Madam Picquery, who had been transferred into a secured location.

Achilles Tolliver, however, had been a victim of their ruthless attack, sent to protect the muggles from the dark wizards around the Woolworth Building. Fortunately, and unlike some Aurors, he had managed to survive with only a few broken ribs and a severe concussion. It was later known that he had been hexed multiple times with a Crutiatus curse and had hit his head pretty hard, which had weakened him. Grindelwald’s followers had failed — at the expense of a few lives.

Tina, who had been working on Queenie’s case, had not been a part of the expedition — thank goodness. She had been running her investigation outside when it all happened, and when she had gotten back to the building, the few ennemis left alive were long gone. She had found her lover, laying on the pavement, head bleeding and had rushed him to the hospital.

When Newt had learnt about it, his first thought had went for Tina. What if she had been targeted ? Surely, Grindelwald would have warned his followers against her. He had rushed to the emergency room only the find the love of his life anxiously pacing to and fro, scared to death that her colleague and lover might never recover from injuries. He had engulfed her into a warm, tight hug, whispering in her ear that everything would be alright, that he was here for her, that he would never let her go. And the brunette had wept on his chest, seeking comfort into his arms. He held on, realizing how he could have lost her in a blind of an eye; she buried her face into his neck, fully aware of how scared he must have been when she hadn’t come home that day.

Fortunately, Achilles recovered quickly. He was a strong and determined man and a few potions had managed to put him back on his feet again. They took turns while he was getting cured to watch over him : Tina would come from morning to lunch and Newt from lunch to dinner. Visitors were not allowed to stay the night, or the both of them would have remained in this bedroom, around the wounded Auror. The blond wizard was more than grateful to be surrounded by both his companion and his new friend, especially after such a fight. Jacob sent his regards as well, but Muggles were not allowed inside this magical hospital.

Finally, after a few difficult days, Tolliver had been able to get out of the hospital with  a few achy ribs and medication — nothing he couldn’t handle. Tina had insisted he would stay at her place for a while, but he refused ; He could take care of himself, he had tried to reassure them.

Happy to be free again, he had asked all his friends to meet him at the bar to celebrate his release — which Tina had thought to be a bad idea. While Porpentina Goldstein was known to be stubborn, Newt found out that Achilles Tolliver was even worst and that once he had made up his mind, nothing could stop him from doing whatever he wanted to do.

The three of them gathered that night, at the bar — Jacob hadn’t been able to come, for there had been an incident involving a possible gas leak : a nightmare. It was like any other muggle bar really. The counter was sticky with the alcohol that had been spilled over it, and many bottles laid behind the bartender as he actively served his customer. A woman — quite a beautiful one, from what he could see, was playing a slow piano song and her voice, enchanting, made him want to sway all night long. They sat around, joking about anything and everything, enjoying the night with muggle alcohol they were not really accustomed to. Achilles seemed quite fond of beer, Newt settled for it as well, though he thought it was not as sweet as Butterbeer and the brunette chose a rather nice looking cocktail — A Cosmopolitan it was called. Newt and Tina drunk slowly, exhausted from their last couple of days while Tolliver went on and on, ordering more pints and swallowing them with a strange easiness.

The music was rather nice, and multiple couples were dancing in the center of the typical New York City bar. The three friends watched them with awe, appreciating the grace of their movement, the bond that each of them seemed to share. The brunette’s leg started to tap the floor according to the music, and Newt swayed his head, appreciating the rhythm. The blond Auror seemed to notice the way they kept on appreciating the music, for his voice suddenly arose.

 

“Scamander ? Why don’t you invite our lady to dance ?” Tolliver asked, slightly tipsy. “I can’t exactly do it myself today and I can see that my girl is dying to go to the dance-floor.” He said, winking at Tina who immediately blushed behind her hand.

 

If any of them had looked at Newton Artemis Fido Scamander at that moment, they would have noticed the shade of crimson that had invaded his entire face, and the way he had bowed down his head, fleeing the discussion and a certain woman’s glance. While it would be his greatest pleasure to dance with the witch, he just couldn’t. It all seemed wrong — he couldn’t dance with Tina in front of the man she was seeing. Not when he was in love with her. He couldn’t lay his heart open when Tolliver was only a few feet away from them. Why would he even ask that ? How could he do that? Had he not noticed his yearning looks ? The pain that shot through his face whenever he saw them kissing ?

 

“I’m not sure —” He started, only to be shushed by the blond Auror who wouldn’t have it.

 

Achilles repeated his demand, again and again, despite the fact that Tina begged him to stop, insisting that she didn’t need to dance tonight, that she was having the most enjoyable evening.  The British wizard, on the other hand, was lost in his thoughts. He wondered what it would feel like to dance with Tina. How her body would move with his. A dance wouldn’t hurt them, right ? _Friends did dance with each others from time to time_ , he tried to convince himself. Besides, she did seem to be eager to join the others, whirling at the center of the room, he could see the longing in her eyes. Maybe she waited for Tolliver to ask, hoping that despite his injuries, he would be able to make her twirl in his arms. He sighed. Maybe he wasn’t the one she wanted at the moment, but he would have this dance, should she be inclined to. Focusing back on the two lovers in front of him, Newt finally raised his head, turning towards Porpentina, stopping their bickering all at once.

 

“Would you — Tina — Would you like to dance ?”  He shakily asked, his voice trembling as he offered his hand. Last time he had done that — she had been on the verge of death. _I’ll catch you_ — he had said. He was willing to catch her once more. Shock spread on her face as she processed what he had said. “ — With me?” He suddenly added, sensing her confusion.

 

The smile she offered him — He would never be able to forget it. It was engraved in his mind, inked in his heart for it was the shyest and yet most genuine grin. Her entire face lightened, her eyes began to sparkle in the subdued bar. She was charming — as always, despite the dark circles under her eyes, despite the unusual paleness of her skin. She hadn’t put on a dress today, she was simply wearing a red blouse tucked into dark large elegant pants. No heels, just plain shoes that seemed comfortable enough to dance. She never wore red, but he couldn’t help but think that it was her color. It clashed with her charcoal eyes and her ebony locks. It matched the lipstick she seemed prone to wear these days.

 

“Yes — I — Of course.” She whispered, as Achilles applauded them, obviously happy about their decision.

 

_If only he knew_ , Newt thought. _If only he knew how I felt for this woman, he would never let me see her again, let alone dance._

Tina carefully took Newt’s warm hand and followed him in the center of the room, amongst the others. He found himself shaking upon feeling her delicate fingers in his palm, and if she had noticed, she kept quiet, which he was quite grateful for. They had now reached their destination, and the lights were directed at them, putting them on the spot. Turning to face her, he ran away from her glance, staring at her companion who was drinking his fourth pint with a smile. Achilles was observing them from the table, his hand painfully shielding his sore ribs. He sighed, and shyly looked at her, so close. The brunette nervously glanced right at him, shaking, visibly waiting for something to happen.

They awkwardly stood in the middle of the dance-floor, not daring to make a move towards each others, yet dying to. Muggles were dancing around them in a whirl of silk and colors, of laughter and voices. Their faces were blurry, their movement swift and almost imperceptible to the human eye. They stood there, out of time, out of the world, two outsiders that just didn’t belong.

He smiled, and she blushed. Newt wanted to reach for her cheek again, to erase her timidity away.  He didn’t. Instead, he dove, head down, into the darkness of her eyes, seeking the courage to initiate their waltz. He carefully laid his hand on her waist, his finger lightly caressing the fabric of her high waist-trousers. She grinned and placed her own on his shoulder as he steadied himself. Their hands met in the middle, and Newt took a deep breath. Then they began to sway in silence, looking anywhere but at each others as their body talked for them.

 

“I’ve always liked to dance. My parents taught me when —” She stopped and swallowed a lump in her throat “So thank you — for agreeing to this.” She confessed shyly, her eyes clearly avoiding his own.

 

He had felt how much she had needed this. He had become quite competent at reading her, though from time to time, he found it hard to. Porpentina Goldstein liked to keep her feelings locked inside of her heart, and now that Queenie was no longer with them, it was hard to tell what she was thinking about. But he had sensed it. How desperately she had desired a gateway. Dancing was, to a lot of people, an escape, he had gathered over time. What could Porpentina Goldstein want to flee that much ? He shrugged. He didn’t want to wonder too much — _worrying means you suffer twice_ , he repeated in his mind. Newt Scamander didn’t want to suffer right now : he wanted to be. To enjoy that moment while it lasted. To feel her closer than ever, twirling between his arms with the grace of a swan, and the fierceness of a lion. Their chests were pressed together, and he could feel the rise and the fall of her breasts. Sometimes, whenever she spun, her hair would lash his face, revealing that scent he always missed.

He was where he wanted to be, he thought.

 

“My mother insisted Theseus and I received lessons.” He finally decided to share, after quite a minute of silence. “I — rarely dance. I haven’t since — Hogwarts' Yule Ball”

 

Leta with her magnificent green dress. Much like the one Tina had worn a few weeks ago.

Leta, twirling between his arms, her laughter in his delighted ears. The teachers watching this unconventional pair whirling around the great hall with pride, the other students stunned by this duo they always made fun of. He shook his head, trying to avoid these hurtful memories to fill his head again. Leta was gone, and she had never reciprocated his feelings. The American Auror was in front of him and she, at some point — he was quite sure of it —, she had fancied him.

Leta belonged to the past, and to was left for Theseus to remember that way.

Tina was his present, and hopefully, maybe, a part of his future.

 

“Why not ?”

 

He smiled bitterly. The answer to her question was both incredibly difficult to voice and very dangerous for the both of them. He wasn’t sure it was something she wanted to hear. Something she was ready to hear. And maybe, he was not ready to say it either.

It was always like this between the two of them — a game of waiting, of trying, of missing the right moment, he had figured out. They were constantly chasing each others, but always missed the chance to catch each others.

He sighed, and his eyes fell on Achilles, who was no longer staring at them. He had turned around and was now engaging a heated conversation with what seemed like another MACUSA Auror. Something in the way he moved and talked, made Newt believe that he was in fact, talking about the last Quidditch game they had had the chance to witness. He would probably not focus on them any time soon. Relieved not to be the center of attention anymore, his back drew back to the wonderful woman he had the chance of holding between his arms. She was waiting for an answer — an answer he was not eager to give.

 

“I don’t know — I guess I was just waiting for the —” He stopped, deflating. How could he say this ? “ — For the right partner.” he whispered so faintly he wondered if she had heard him.

 

Her grin informed him that she had, but she remained silent, for both of their sakes. The Auror really was the wisest of them. She knew not to jump head down into this conversation that could lead the both of them to something more. The quiet smirk on her lips didn’t fade, though, and her dreamy eyes met his. Both of their hearts stopped, but their dance didn’t. They weren’t even thinking about their movements anymore, engulfed into something deeper, stronger. They kept swaying slower than other people did, but they didn’t mind. They were Newt and Tina inside this bar. It was here and now. The outside world had ceased to exist.

He sighed. It had been true, what he had told her. He had never danced with anyone since Leta — except his mother, but that didn’t count — for he had never found a woman who could erase his fear of people and crowded bars. With Leta, he could focus on her smile and almost forget the world around them, only hearing distant chatters. With Tina, everything felt different. It was like they were alone in this universe, in a city of stars, twirling towards the infinity. It was them and the music, slow and steady. It was as if life had only one meaning that resided in her smile. Like nothing could go wrong as long as they remained this way : his hand on her hips, hers on his shoulder, and their fingers entwined in the middle.

Newt had never felt more comfortable with any dance partner before, and he was internally thanking his mother for making him go through all of this : without knowing, she had offered him one of the best moment of his life. He smiled, remembering voicing these exact words when Tina had binded her brother to a chair. Somehow, deep down, he knew that he would keep living the finest moment of his existence by her side. That new memories would always replace the ones he held dear to his heart. She was an infinite well of wonder.

Carried away by the intimacy of their dance, Tina let herself drop her head on her friend’s shoulder, closing her eyes and enjoying being rocked across the dance-floor. Newt held her closer, feeling her deep breath in his neck as he continued to lead the way. She had laid her hand flat on his chest, and his own was covering it.

 

“Tina — ?” He whispered desperately.

 

He couldn’t explain why he had voiced her name. He had no idea of what to say. But he knew that he had to tell her something. Anything. Newt wanted to ask her if she was happy with her lover, if she imagined her life by his side. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was — how beautiful she always had been to him. How much he missed her when he was in London. How scared he was every time she didn’t answer to his letter. He wanted to tell her something — anything. Against his shoulder, she raised her head, bursting from her bubble of comfort. Her eyes seemed sharper, awake, and suddenly, she regained her senses. Porpentina Goldstein took a step back, slightly stepping away from him.

 

“The music stopped…” She stated. And it was true. None of them had noticed how everyone had left the center of the room, how the piano had stopped playing, too caught up in their moment. The wizard wouldn’t have realized if it wasn’t for her. “Maybe we should — ?” she whispered.

 

Newt Scamander let go of Porpentina Goldstein’s hand, and his arm fell on his side pitifully. And then she was gone — just — gone. She ran towards their table again, checking on the man she worked with, the man she dated, leaving Newt in the middle of the room, missing her warmth.

  


“Yes. Yes, we should.” He whispered, tears dancing in his eyes.

 

They came back to the Goldstein apartment that night, and didn’t talk at all, for the moment was gone. Tina went, as usual, straight to her room — it was late and she had to go to work the next day— and Newt fell on the couch, reliving again and again the evening they had spent. Achilles had gone home staggering, and he had been more than happy about their dance, telling them how good they had looked on the dance-floor, assuring them that the whole bar had had eyes on them, which made them blush furiously.

They came home that night, and laid on their own bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about that dance, and what it had meant. So much — yet nothing. Friends danced together, right ? They both tried to convince themselves. Tina, curled up on her mattress wondered what Newt was doing — if he was thinking as much as she did. She wondered whether she should go to him and talk things through. Newt, on the other room, thought the same.

None of them moved until the sun set. None of them managed to get a good night sleep.

 


	5. How do you know you are in love ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina finds herself wondering what she feels for both Achilles and Newt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there ! So it is Saturday again, and we are reaching today the 1/4 of the story.
> 
> Once again, thank you for your enthusiasm, it's always much appreciated, and it means the world to me  
> I finished chapter 20 earlier this week and lemme tell you that it has been one incredible ride.
> 
> Quick reminder that English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes you might find. I try my best but I was not corrected for this story. It's all mine.
> 
> You guys enjoy your chapter, and I will see you next week for THE chapter that's gonna change everything <3

In a matter of weeks, Newt and Achilles had become good friends : they went out together almost every day, whether it was to have a drink, have lunch, or simply to visit. The American Auror seemed quite smitten with the British Magizoologist : it was all he was talking about at work, or whenever he and Tina went out. The brunette often teased him about it :  _ I wonder sometimes if you would not rather date him _ — she would say, and he would pretend to be offended before placing a kiss on her lips. He wasn’t bragging at all — Achilles was simply overjoyed to spend some time with a man so interesting and full of surprises. Newt always had a compelling story to share with them about how he got some of his beasts, and his travels around the world. And more than anything, the Auror loved to spend some time down in Newt’s fabulous case, discovering creatures he had never heard about before. So far, the hippogriff was his favorite —  _ Have you seen Rachel fly ? Oh Tina, she looks marvelous ! Do you think Scamander will allow me to ride her someday ? _

Until now, Tina had been glad about their newfound friendship : she was finally able to combine the two parts of her life she had never thought would blend together. To be honest, she had never imagined them being friends : they were too different ; yet, it appeared it was what was bringing them closer together. She wasn’t used to Newt having friends and seeing him acting this way towards Achilles filled her with joy. And Achilles — well he was overly friendly but had never mentioned any friends he would want her to meet, which lead her to think that he was rather lonely. He had been in New York for over a year after all — life in the city was rather filled with solitude, despite what everyone was thinking. Besides, Aurors were not considered well among the wizarding community.

The witch knew oh-too-well what solitude meant because the more the two men of her life went out, the lonelier she felt. It wasn’t their fault of course— they kept on offering her to come and she refused. Recently, she had declined a lot.

She wasn’t feeling at her best, lately, whenever she was with the two of them. Not that they did anything to make her uncomfortable — no, they were gentlemen as always ! And maybe it was a problem after all, maybe she didn’t feel like she merited such sweet souls. Tina bit her lips before burying her face into her hand. The were always too kind to her when she didn’t deserve any of it.

She couldn’t keep doing this to herself nor to them. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t keep pretending that she was fine with whatever was happening because she was not. And it pained her to admit it because she was not alone in this mess. It would have been easier if she had. It was more than her life at stake here, and she couldn’t keep playing this game.

She couldn’t do this anymore. She was too honest to pretend and her mixed feelings were getting the best of her. It was starting to feel more and more difficult to lie every single day — to either of them. They deserved better. Why did they have to be so sweet around her, and around each others?

She sighed and eyed at the ticking clock. It was already midnight. Newt wasn’t back yet. He and Tolliver — as he liked to call him — had gone to the bar right after dinner. They had begged her to come, but she had pleaded that she needed to work on her ongoing case. Well, it was true. She needed to come up with a solution in order to find Queenie, and fast. So far, she had nothing.  It was like searching for a needle in a haystack. Her sister hadn’t been part of the MACUSA attack from what she had gathered, but she had probably tipped them off — why would they target Achilles specifically ? No one had seen her : had she been here at all ?

Hair gathered into a tight bun, Tina tried to focus back on her files scattered on her table, unsuccessfully. Her mind was elsewhere, torn between her sister’s absence and the two man that kept invading her thoughts. Her heart was pounding, her mind was racing — it was just too much, and she was exhausted. She couldn’t handle this.

Tina knocked her head against her wooden table and closed her eyes. She remained still for what seemed like forever, until she heard something that startled her — a very small, very distinctive noise coming from Newt Scamander’s suitcase that he had left on its dedicated corner of her living room.Without much thoughts, the Auror grabbed her wand, ready to overcome any attack, and approached carefully the brown leather luggage. She was shaking, already imagining the Erumpent breaking free and tearing her apartment apart. How was she supposed to cope with this situation ? Tina had read her favorite magizoologist’s book a long time ago but had never had to capture one of his beasts alone before… But there was so sign of such a creature. She looked directly on the ground, and smiled, lowering her wand. 

There, obviously lost, laid her favorite animal : Newt’s Niffler. Well — favorite wasn’t exactly accurate since he had caused so much trouble last time he went loose but… She had to admit that those innocent eyes and fluffy fur made her heart melt. He was not evil, just a little mischievous from what she had heard and seen, but of no harm to her. Besides, that creature was the reason Newt and herself met. How could she not love it? 

 

“Hey there little one ! Where do you think you’re going ?” She whispered, catching the squeaking animal between her hands before it managed to get away and steal some of her stuff.

 

A relieved sigh escaped from her opened lips. She couldn’t imagine the catastrophe if he had escaped without her noticing, the damage he would have caused not only in her apartment but in the ones surrounding hers as well. Surely, Mrs. Esposito wouldn’t have been thrilled. Tina remembered the bank accident pretty vividly, and from what she had witnessed, it had been rough for Newt to get his creature back. What would she have done ?  If she remembered correctly, she would have to tickle the creature on his belly while holding him upside down to recover her lost goods. 

She wasn’t wealthy but her apartment was full of argenterie from her parents’ wedding, coins they saved in jars in order not to loose them and Queenie’s jewels remained untouched on the dressing table. While she didn’t mind the money or the place setting, the witch couldn’t help but think that if her sister decided to come back, she wouldn’t be pleased to see that her golden necklaces were missing. Everything had to remain the same for her return — if she ever did. Tina sighed, focusing back on the adorable beast between her hands.

Once captured, the small animal didn’t fight to get freed but pushed against her hand instead, hoping to get its head scratched. Moved by such need of attention, Tina caved in, unable to resist the urge to stroke the dark pelt with a smile. The niffler was purring — was it a purr ? She couldn’t exactly tell, she wasn’t the specialist in this area. It seemed pleased, nevertheless by her ministrations, as she kept doing it, her mind wondering elsewhere.

 

“How do you know that you are in love ?” She finally asked, out loud.

 

The creature turned towards her, surprised by her sudden decision to have a conversation, but didn’t let any emotions show. What did she expect ? That he would nod his pretty head and answer ? She had never thought she would end up just like Newt, talking to creatures. It always surprised her when he did, and while she had never fully understood it, she was starting to fathom the appeal. When the British wizard addressed his beasts, she always found it endearing. When she did it, she felt like a fool. But it was better than talking to herself, right?

The witch wondered if he often talked to them the way she was doing at the moment. Wondered if he let them inside his overly complicated thoughts. From the Niffler’s features, she guessed that he did. He seemed used to people unravelling their feelings. 

There was something soothing about confessing to an animal : it seemed to listen carefully but yet, it couldn’t exactly answer. That was definitely what she was looking for at the moment. A way to let go of that burden that had been weighing on her shoulders for too long.

Usually, she would go to Queenie for such matters. But Queenie was gone, and so were her useful advices. Queenie was gone — she was left alone dealing with this situation.

Of course, she knew that Jacob would always be there to listen to her, but since he was Newt’s friend, she didn’t feel like he was the right person to talk to. Besides, Nifflers couldn’t talk right ? She had nothing to lose.

 

“I like him. I’ve always liked him, you know.” Tina finally said out loud. And for a minute, she felt weird doing so. She had never admitted it before, not audibly, and those words felt strange in her mouth. “ But — I really like Achilles as well.”

 

The Niffler sighed, and turned so that she would rub his belly — which she did absently, not noticing how the creature squirmed under her touch. She smiled at him, and he stared at her with what seemed like pity in his eyes. Yet, again — she was not a magizoologist and everything she saw, everything she thought she could see was merely her own mind over analyzing every situation. Maybe he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t even understand her.

She didn’t mind. She just needed his presence. Just like she had needed to dance not so long ago. Just like she sometimes had the urgency to go for a run, whenever things got complicated.

Right now she needed to talk. To anyone. 

 

“I mean — Achilles is nice. And he has been there for me when Newt wasn’t. Of course, It was my fault, I shouldn’t have believed those gossips but — I have grown accustomed to his presence, and well — I love being around him. Working with him. He really loves me and it feels good to be — appreciated.”

 

Yes — She really likes Achilles. He was caring and everything she had ever wanted in a man.  Younger, when she was still in Ilvermorny, when she had Queenie would spend the holidays together because they had no home to go back to, they would imagine the perfect person for them. They could go on the castle ground and stare at the sky above their head, fantasizing about their dream lives. It was their favorite hobby back then, when everything was simple.

The blonde witch adored such games. Of course, Queenie Goldstein had always been used to people admiring her, wanting to be around her. Yet, the little girl already had her head filled with dreams, and the promise of love, of a family was one of the things she dared to wish for.

But Tina — good old Tina was much more reserved, and of a different disposition. She was the good friend, but no boys tried to court her. So, whenever she felt down, she pictured a tall man who had the same desperate need of justice, a man who would follow his own rules. A caring person that would make her feel loved and desired. In her mind, he had always been an Auror, just like she wanted to be in the future. In her imagination, his name was Benjamin, and Queenie loved to tease her about him.  _ You are still waiting on your Benjamin, aren’t you ? But Teenie, the world is full of other people… You can’t just wait for the perfect man to come by… _

Achilles Tolliver was the man of her dreams, the man she had waited for all her life. He was her Benjamin.

Newton Scamander was the person she had never expected to meet, the disruptive element who had crashed all her dreams. Maybe for the better ?

The Niffler sensed a shift in her demeanor since it escaped from her hands to carefully climb on her white shirt. She winced : his paws would definitely leave marks on her favorite blouse. She chuckled when she felt the animal nestling on her shoulder, rubbing his head on her cheek in sympathy. Tina let herself enjoy this unexpected embrace and for a minute : it reminded her of how she used to cuddle her teddy bear, as a little girl, whenever she was down. It was better than a stuffed animal. She could hear his heartbeat, which she found reassuring.

 

“So yeah — I know what you are thinking. I have to choose. And I know I do — I just can’t. Because they both mean the world to me. Newt is my friend, and once we were almost more. But I have Achilles now. And I want to try. I want to try to be happy with him.  I don’t want to break anyone’s heart. That was never my intention and I don’t know how —”

 

She stopped. She didn’t know what to do. There was so much to take into account. Newt — Achilles — both names mixed in her mind, faces hang in her heart. She appreciated Achilles and had been dating him for more than a year — but all this time, she had been in love with Newt. So desperately in love with Newt. Even when she thought he was marrying someone else, she woke up with his name on her lips, trying desperately to escape her heart where she kept him hidden. But she couldn’t do this to Achilles. She liked him, in another way, felt so much tenderness for him. He had mended the broken pieces of her heart, had nursed her back into the woman she was now. She liked him and wanted to give him a chance. And not so long ago, she had thought she could build something with him. Tina wasn’t so sure anymore.

This situation was bawled up. It shouldn’t have happened. All of this because of a stupid magazine she had wrongly believed. Why did she try to move on ? If she had just waited a couple months, all of this could have been avoided… She was into a real mess. A mess she would have to clear soon enough. But not today.

Newt was leaving in a couple of days. Newt was leaving again — she would have time to make up her mind during his absence. She sighed, and held on to the niffler that was carefully falling asleep in the crook of her neck. Newt was leaving again — would he come back ?

 

Tina was so deep into her thoughts she didn’t hear the door opening behind her.

Didn’t see Newt Scamander entering silently, cautious not to awake her in case she had gone to sleep. But she hadn’t, much to his surprise, she was still awake.

Didn’t see the smile that spread on his face when he saw her from behind, holding one of his favorite and most loyal creature — though he always claimed he was against favoritism. He stopped there, on the threshold, staring at the scene in front of his eyes and wondering if living with Porpentina Goldstein would grant him of this sight every day for the rest of his life. He certainly didn’t have anything against this vision.

 

“The little pest has escaped again…” He finally mumbled, startling her.

 

She turned around, finally noticing his presence and smiled tiredly. He seemed to have enjoyed himself and had that adorable grin on his face that always made her heart tremble. The brunette wondered what the boys talked about tonight, what they did, who they had met. Newt seemed in a incredibly good mood but she was afraid to ask why. It seemed strange to see him that way when her heart was heavy with unvoiced feelings.

She focused back on the snoring creature nestled in her collar, and caught him to hand him over to his owner and caregiver smoothly, hoping not to wake him. She quickly explained the situation, how she had heard a strange noise coming from his famous case, how she had caught the beast before it went further. The magizoologist listened to her every words with passion and wonder — he always did that whenever she mentioned his creatures. He seemed proud of her reaction, and  congratulated her on catching her first rogue Niffler.

 

“You always give him nicknames but — You have never mentioned his name.” She began, obviously interested by the fate of that little trouble maker.

 

“Oh — I never found one that suited him.” He simply answered, running his hands through the animal’s fur tenderly.

 

She stared at the creature, fast asleep in Newt’s hand and let her mind wonder. What would she call him if she had the chance ? Her lips drew a soft smile. She knew exactly how, but would she dare ? He had never asked her to name his niffler — besides, he seemed to give a great importance on giving them names that suited them. But ever since their conversation, or rather her monologue, she had only one pet name in mind…

 

“Benjamin.” She whispered, looking at the sleepy animal. Yes. He looked like a Benjamin — like a dream you always chase, like a children’s fantasy you never managed to catch.

 

Newt whole feature lightened with enthusiasm, and he opened his mouth in wonder. Of course, he didn’t know what was behind such a name, but he appeared to appreciate it nevertheless. A sigh of relief escaped from her lips : he had never mentioned that she had the right to name his niffler and it had been bold of her to assume she could. But he didn’t seem upset, in fact his eyes were shining happily. For a moment, the brunette found herself engulfed into his deep green eyes — where they green or blue ? It depended on the light and the weather but she had never seen anything quite like it. She noticed the little stains of yellow and brown inside of his orbs, the green all around his pupil that seemed to turn blue at the end… It had become her favorite color — whatever color this was. 

 

“I never thought of that name before. I — like it.” Newt exclaimed over.

 

“Benjamin” They both whispered, around the animal that had gathered them both, their eyes focused on he’s tiny paws that moved in his slumber.

 

Porpentina Goldstein had then a vision. It was one of these associative images that only conjured by a very powerful sight. For a moment there, she imagined herself in the hospital, with a squirming baby in her arms. It was a boy, and he was perfect, staring at her with his strangely green-blue eyes and his brown hair. The sun was barely getting up, and it was Newt was by her side, kneeling in front of the bed, tears in his eyes, his hand supporting the newborn’s head with awe. 

In her vision, they just had a son.

Her eyes settled back on the niffler between them.

This, right in front of her eyes, felt a little bit like a dream — and much more like reality.

 


	6. Slippery Slope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Newt's last day in New York and Achilles Tolliver is helping him pack. Two friends hanging out together in a magical suitcase : what could go wrong ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello !
> 
> As always, I will begin by thanking you for all of your support for this story : I have worked very hard to present it to you and it is my genuine pleasure to see your reactions ! Thank you very much for everything ! I started writing the first few chapters of a sequel, should you want some more of this story after our 20 chapters :')
> 
> Also, this chapter marks a change in the story. Things are about to be discovered, and people might get hurt in the process. We now enter the very angsty part of that story (and I am just getting started!)
> 
> As always, you know the drill : I am french, wasn't beta-ed therefore all mistakes are mine and mine alone. I hope they won't bother you too much !
> 
> Have fun reading, and I will see you next week for one very (VERY) angsty chapter ! Don't forget to let me know what you thought of this chapter ;)

The first day of December arrived way too fast for Achilles Tolliver’s liking. The idea that his new best friend would be leaving the next day was unbearable. He had gotten quite used to Newt Scamander’s presence in New York and was saddened to see him go back to London, where he said he belonged. With whom would he share a drink after work with ? The other Auror, except for Tina, didn’t really seem to like him for some reason. Who would share his undying love for Quidditch ? It had been his pleasure to walk to the stadium with a friend, to cheer their favorite players alongside, to talk about brooms and the freedom of flying with someone that had experienced it. He would miss that. He would miss him.

The Auror had rarely met someone as interesting as that British wizard : he was drawn to him — to his idea, to his passion for he shared most of them. And they had in common a girl they both cherished. That was their most important likeness and their major topic whenever they were alone.

Achilles Henry Tolliver was a kind and caring man. To others, he seemed rather naive because he preferred seeing the goodness in people, he chose to believe instead of constantly doubt, but he was quite observant, which made him one of the best Aurors MACUSA had. Over the past weeks, he had noticed the way Tina, his companion, was beaming with joy around Newt, the way she seemed to bloom, the way her eyes glowed whenever he mentioned his beasts. Never had he seen her that way — Laughing, smiling from ear to ear : happy. Just happy. She constantly talked about him — he couldn’t blame her, for he was quite fond of the man himself. He had never met in his life anyone quite like this — a friend quite like him. He could finally understand why he had been such an important part of her life. Why she looked at him with fondness and admiration.

It was the night before the departure, and the blond American had decided to help Newt settle his creatures for the travel. Tina was out, interrogating some of her sources and later on, the three of them would share one last dinner together, enjoying each other’s company for one last hour.

It was Newt’s last night in New York : they had to celebrate his appreciated visit, and bid him their farewell. At least, Achilles would have to say goodbye since his girl had insisted she would walk her friend to the docks « for old times’ sakes ».

He was leaving at noon, and since it would be quite a long transit, he had to make sure he was in possession of everything he needed to take care of them. It included food, of course, but also ointment and herbs he could use to treat them against any diseases. Achilles followed his friend throughout the maze of his magical case, bewildered as always, by the beauty of each habitat, by the tenderness the beasts that lived there seemed to have for their caregiver. He said goodbye to each and every single one of them, especially Rachel, the magnificent Hippogriff he had met in this journey. They had created a bond, him and Rach’ as he called her. Most of the time, she let him pet her fluffy wings and Newt Scamander had promised that whenever they would visit him in London, he would allow him to ride her.

Deep down, he hoped that he would be accepted again in this incredible place where everything seemed possible. Even the impossible.

 

“I’m gonna miss having you around Newt” Tolliver admitted, while roughly patting Newts shoulder. It was his way of expressing his sadness towards the situation. Achilles had never dealt with a departure like this before, and didn’t know what to do. But it was true. He would be dearly missed.

 

They had just made sure that the Nifflers would not escape during the trip : it could be rather catastrophic to have rogue creature on the loose on a ship lost in the middle of the Atlantic — they had both agreed. Newt, after adding another magical lock to their cage filled with coins and gems, turned towards the Auror with a moved pout. In his green eyes, the american auror saw that he reciprocated his feelings.

He didn’t say anything, though, and Achilles was used to it. During their outings, he was mostly the one to induce a conversation, even the silliest ones. Most of the time, Newt listened very carefully to what he said, nodding in agreement, but never answered, or vaguely. The few times Newt had actually asked him something, he had been so taken aback he hadn’t been able to cover up his shock, but his questions always brought them to either Tina or MACUSA. The wizard had figured that it was sheer shyness and perhaps, a difficulty to express himself : he tended to mumble and hesitate a lot, especially whenever Porpentina was around. It was rather endearing.

 

“Tina’s gonna miss you too — She has been a wreck for a couple of days, knowin’ you’ll be gone.” He continued, imperturbable, following the magizoologist to their next destination. He noticed, however, the way his eyes had went wide from the mention of the brunette. But he had shaken his head and focused back on his beasts before he could read more into that. 

 

The British wizard never answered that statement as well — But Achilles didn’t need to hear any words. 

He knew how much he was pained to leave. How much he would miss her. Newt had packed his things slowly, sighing every now and then, staring at every furniture in order to remember every single detail of his stay. The Auror felt sorry for him. And sorry for the girl he loved.

They had a bond he couldn’t exactly understand. Something out of his reach, out of his understanding. Something deep. A friendship like he had never witnessed before. 

Whenever they were together, it seemed like nothing else mattered. Like the world around them had ceased to move. And it was hard to feel like you belonged with them. It was in the twinkle of their eyes, in beaming of their smiles. Whenever they were together, they shone brighter than the sun, and in some way, Achilles was jealous of that relationship. He wished he could have a friend like this with whom he would share one heart, one soul. 

He had noticed that Newt was extremely protective over her. He had asked, multiples times, how he thought she was doing, after Queenie’s departure. How people were treating her at MACUSA since her grand return. He was genuinely interested by her work and tried to help the best he could. 

Tina was incredibly understanding with him — she always gave him time to express his feelings and would even, from time to time, finish his sentence. 

There was something about them that was both beautiful and heartbreaking. The way they kept looking after each others no matter what… The way they behaved whenever they were apart…

The American wizard touched his chin, puzzled. He hadn’t seen anything this moving ever.

“Achilles — would you mind handing me my list — It’s in my coat’s breast pocket.” Newt suddenly asked, out of the blue, focused on giving poor little Josie her treatment — the poor mooncalf had broken her leg trying to chase down her brothers and sisters.

 

Happy to make himself useful, the Auror ran directly to the shack and hurried to the desk, where he knew he would find, hung against the chair, the blue coat he always seemed to wear. He could have simply cast a spell to conjure the damn thing, but he was having too much fun visiting the marvelous land he had created from piece to piece. He had been there a few times and thankfully, knew his way around, trying his best not to knock over the jars of liquid and bags of food stored there. The wooden desk was filled with papers he didn’t dare read, but it awfully looked like drafts, probably from his book. Achilles Tolliver let his eyes wonder on the parchment, not reading what was written but enjoying the knowledge it seemed to contain.

The bin was filled with rough paper as well, some drawing he couldn’t exactly make the shape.  There was a baby occamy scribbled at the end of a draft. Some looked like womanly faces but he didn’t want to invade his friend’s privacy by going through his stuff. However, he was very curious to know who it could be. He would have to ask whenever he would have the chance. Newt Scamander ? In love with someone ? After all, why not. The magizoologist was a caring man who would most certainly bring much joy to the witch of his heart. By the way he behaved towards Tina, Achilles knew that he would be an incredible husband someday, and a loving father, should fate allow him that.

He carefully shoved his hand down the pocket to retrieve the famous list his friend had been asking.  They had made it together : a list of all the necessary things to pack before leaving. Halfway he stopped, wondering whether Pickett had regained his little habitat, and careful not to disrupt him.To his surprise, he found the compartment quite full, and retrieved everything. Hopefully, the Bowtruckle, wasn’t in. It usually was his favorite place to hang out, but for once, he had returned where he belonged, with his mates : he couldn’t be seen by No-Maj’s. Newt must have had quite a fight with him about that matter to persuade him to stay put. Their green friend was usually adamant about staying with his humain.

Achilles Tolliver laid the many papers he found on a wooden counter next to the desk and began searching for that note. Newt’s pocket were a mess, he figured, since he couldn’t put his fingers on that damned note. After a few minutes of fumbling, the blond wizard finally found a  wrapped paper that looked like the list he was searching for. But this wasn’t it. Instead, he found something quite unsettling. Something he hadn’t expected to find, buried deep into his coat.

There, carefully folded, was a picture of Porpentina Goldstein, roughly cut out from what seemed to be a Newspaper. He had seen it before, he remembered how her smile had struck him as the most beautiful one he had ever seen, how her eyes shimmered even in the newsprint. The article had been written when she had been reinstalled as an Auror, that much he remembered. His thick eyebrow quirked. Why would he — ?

And then, it felt like a revelation.

In front of his weary eyes, the painful truth unraveled, tiny pieces putting themselves together. His behavior. The hurt in his eyes. The way he kept on mumbling whenever she was around. The way he couldn’t look at her without blushing. Suddenly, in front of this picture he had quite accidentally found, everything started to make sense. The scattered pieces of the puzzle started to attach together. His hands tightened around the photograph, almost ripping the paper apart.

 

“So sorry — I think I left it on my desk !” Newt finally barged in, without noticing the tensed shoulder of his american friend nor sensing the threatening aura that hang inside the room. He reached over the desk, and got what he was looking for, enunciating every ingredient with a clear voice.

 

Achilles didn’t turn around, nor said anything. He simply stood there, shaking, overwhelmed by the anger boiling in his vain, by the sadness that had filled his heart. He had been betrayed. But this treason had a bitter taste, for it was for a man he had idolized for weeks. He hadn’t seen it coming, and yet, he knew he should have. There had been too many clues. How could he miss them ? His reactions had been screaming it to his face and yet — yet he had chosen not to believe it.

The dance, and the way he had held onto her that night, like he was a survivor hanging to his lifeboat. The way he kept on staring at her like a Niffler would look at a golden coin. 

He couldn’t believe — yet it had to be.

It all made sense now.

  
  


“Newt — Why do you have a picture of Tina ?” He coldly asked, turning around, finally facing the British wizard.

 

Newt Scamander stopped, taken aback, and opened his mouth before closing it. That’s when Achilles rose his hand, still holding the newspaper cut. At this sight, green eyes widened and ran away. A quiet blush crept on his cheek as he reached over, retrieving what belonged to him. He was careful with the newspaper, almost afraid to damage it. He didn’t fold it, didn’t put it away. He kept on holding on to it like it was the last thing keeping him sane in this world, shame burning his cheek.

Achilles shook his head in disbelief, throwing his arms above his head before burying his face into his hands. This had to be a nightmare. He had to wake up.

But this was no nightmare. This was the truth.

Newt Scamander was in love with his Tina.

 

“It’s not what you think —” He tried, but stopped, knowing there was no point.

 

It was exactly what he thought.

Exactly what he feared.

He  _ was _ in love. He had been for some time — the Auror just knew it. They had lived quite an adventure together a while back, and the British magizoologist had never been able to let her go. That was what was happening right ? It had to be.

 

“Why would you carry her picture around ? Answer me.”

 

But there was no answer to give, Achilles already knew. Somehow, he just hoped that his friend would have the guts to tell him the truth, to admit it out loud for both of their sake.

Friends danced together. Sure. Friends took care of each others. Absolutely. But friends didn’t walk around with the other’s picture in their breast pocket. Only lovers did that. And Achilles Tolliver knew, because he had his own, in his wallet. 

It was photograph taken at the beginning of their blossoming relationship, both of them smiling directly at the camera, holding hands in front of Central Park. It was spring, she was wearing  a long skirt and a beautiful blouse with a large hat on her head to protect herself from the sun. They had eaten hot dog that day, before walking around the city like the two lovebirds they were. Queenie had played the photograph that day, and he had asked for one of the pictures. That way, his love was always by his side.

Friends that carried each other’s portraits around were not just friends. There were deeper feelings involved. And from the guilt he could see in those greenish orbs, he was quite right about that.

That man he thought was his friend — That man who had been hanging with him for the past few weeks was coveting after the woman he was in love with. The witch he had courted for months. While he considered himself patient and open-minded, while he had accepted his odd behavior, this could not pass.

This was too much.

 

“You love her.” He stated. “That’s why you are here. You are here to win her over, aren’t you ?”

 

“I’m here —” Newt tried, but failed.

 

It was already too late. Achilles was fuming and getting out of the shack, smashing the door behind him. His steps were heavy and hurried. The tousled haired wizard tried to run after him, but didn’t manage to catch him before he disparated out of his case. Out of his life.

If he had been fast enough, he would have seen the tears inside the Auror’s blue eyes.

The British wizard sighed in defeat. He had wanted to tell him how sorry he was. How he wished things would have been different. How he should have never found out about his affection in the first place.

He had hoped he would be able to tell him that he was an amazing man who deserved such a woman by his side. That he hadn’t come here to snatch her out of his arms but rather to make sure that she was happy. That she would always be happy.

Because that was all he had ever wanted.

For her to be happy.

Newt Scamander sat in silence inside of his shack, holding for his dear life to the picture of the woman he was so madly in love, angry tears streaming down his face.

He had ruined everything — he always did.

But this time — this time he had hoped it would be different.

It wasn’t.

He just sat there all night long, waiting for the world to punish him, waiting for his boat to arrive. He sat there, heartbroken, knowing that sooner or later, he would have to deal with this situation. 

The wizard glanced at his watch. It was almost time for dinner. Tina would arrive shortly and noticed that the table hadn’t been set. That the kitchen was empty.

Tina would worry something had happened and she would be right.

Just as the thought occurred to him, hurried footsteps echoed inside the brown case, and Newt’s entire body went rigid. There was the moment he was most dreading for. It was coming for him and there was no way he would be able to escape it. It was her.

How was he supposed to tell her that he had broken her companion’s heart ? Was he supposed to mention that he loved her ? She had to know it, right. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t.

Tina called him with a concerned voice. She then called after her lover. She never got any answer. He didn’t want to be seen. He didn’t want to have to tell her.

The door opened, and light shone inside the darkened shack.

 

“Newt, have you seen Achilles ?” She casually asked. After a while, she noticed the dried tears on his cheeks, and the terrified look on his face. “Newt what happened ? Are you okay ?” She said, crouching down in front of him.

 

He looked right at her.

And he knew it would be the last time he would get to see her like this.

He knew that as soon as he would talk, the benevolence he could see in her eyes would disappear, replaced by hurt and disappointment.

He looked right at her, grasping as much details as he could.

 

He was not okay.

And soon, she wouldn’t be either.


	7. The thing you love you loose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt tells Tina about the picture accident, which has led Achilles Tolliver to storm out of the apartment earlier. Both hurt, a fight ensues. Sometimes, when you love someone too much, you end up losing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning you guys !
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments and your enthusiasm, it is always much appreciated ! I am working harder than ever on the sequel (chapter 5 yay) and your kind words always bring a smile to my face ! I see that the previous chapter made you scared about Tina's reaction ... well here it is :)
> 
> As always, you know the drill : I am french, wasn't beta-ed therefore all mistakes are mine and mine alone. I hope they won't bother you too much !
> 
> I wish you a happy (not so much though--) reading, and I will see you next week for the following chapter :D Don't forget to tell me what you thought about this chapter :)

“I’m so sorry Tina — I didn’t mean —” Newt whispered into the silence of the room.

 

She turned sharply, facing him, and stopped pacing to and fro around the apartment and he knew he should have kept his mouth shut. Tina had been quiet for a few minutes, obviously trying to think of a solution to this nightmare and sighing frustratingly. The calm after the storm, he recognized, but it didn’t mean that it was over. At any time, like a tornado, her anger could rise from the ashes and strike again… And this time, maybe it would break him. And this time, he might not recover from it.

Newt ran away from her irritated glance. He couldn’t bear it. Couldn’t see the disappointment in her eyes that usually looked so benevolent.

He had never seen her like this. Yet, he had witnessed many emotions on her face : hurt when she believed that he was engaged to Leta, regret when he told her it wasn’t true, guilt when Queenie joined Grindelwald, joy when she saw him on the docks. He had seen tenderness and care, attention and worries. He thought he had seen it all, but obviously, he was wrong. Never, in his presence, had she been this furious. Fire was burning within her dark orbs, consuming the spark of tenderness that used to shimmer there. Her lips twitched angrily, and she kept on throwing her hands while she talked — or rather shouted. She had put on her severe mask on, the one he knew to be her Auror face, whenever she interrogated suspects. Newt finally gathered why all of MACUSA Aurors liked to call her the bad cop : she was indeed very redoutable. From her posture to her voice, everything in her was intimidating. This wasn’t the Tina he knew. This wasn’t the sweet Tina that cared too much for her own good. This was the Tina he had first met, those days in New York. This was the Tina who was trying to hide her feelings. He sighed.

It was all his fault.

They had been fighting for hours now. Well, fighting was a strong word since they both agreed on the fact that this situation was a disaster.

He had told her everything, as soon as she had noticed the tears trailing down his freckled cheeks. He had confessed his mistake, explaining the situation honestly. She had taken a step away from him, just like he knew she would.   _Do you realize what you have done ? The consequence of your actions ?_ — _I never meant for this to happen, Tina_. He had tried his best to apologize but even he knew that some things could never be forgiven. So he had listened to her trying to find a solution to their problem. There was none.

It was the middle of the night, about three in the morning maybe and both of them were exhausted yet, wide awake. Newt was at the edge of the sofa, facing her as she walked inside of her apartment to think better. They had soundproofed the room to make sure that Mrs. Esposito wouldn’t evict Tina for hosting a man in addition of arguing in the middle of the night. They didn’t need more troubles.

Deep down, Newt wondered if he should have told her the truth. A part of him regretted that he did, the other part had to admit that she would have found out sooner or later. Besides, he couldn’t have lied to her, she deserved better than that.

 

“Of course you didn’t mean to ! You never mean to, but you still hurt people, Newt.”

 

That, he knew very well. It was specialty.

All he had ever wanted was to please her and yet, a simple mistake had erased his efforts.

He had lost his new friend. Betrayed his trust — when he should have never met the man. Now he knew that it could have never worked out. They both loved Tina too much and deep down, they both knew that she wasn’t happy. Maybe under different circumstances they could have been best friends. Yes — The British wizard could picture it. He sighed. He should have never asked to meet him. He should have stayed out of trouble, out of their lives.

It had been selfish of him to think that it could work out, and as a result for his foolishness, they were both on the verge of losing everything. Well, when he looked at her, he knew that he already have. Tina’s heart was broken, and it was his fault.

He should have stayed in London.

If he had, he wouldn’t have broken a man’s heart.

Wouldn’t have lost the woman he loved.

Porpentina Goldstein was gliding out of his hands, like delicate grains of sand slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t keep her from drifting away, no matter how much he wanted to. It was just a matter of time before she was lost to him forever.

He had broken her relationship. He had hurt her. There was no going back.

 

“All I wanted — was to make sure you were happy… With him.” He managed to whisper.

 

Because it was the truth. It was the most stupid undeniable truth.

Because all this time, it had been his motive. To see her happy.

And then friendship had carried him away from that. Achilles had distracted him from his goal.

Because he had secretly hoped that Achilles Tolliver would be an awful man. He had imagined him just as handsome, with perhaps more beard and mustache, but morally despicable. Would it have made it easier ? Probably not. Besides, Tina deserved a good man.

Yet, he had thought he could be the knight in his shining armor, riding his Zouwu to save the damsel in distress from the villain. That’s how he had been raised to be, how he had always conceived love — he knew that he would dedicate his entire existence to the one that would hold his heart. It seemed that he had poor tastes in woman, for he always picked those who were out of his reach. But just this once, he wanted to be the hero. Her hero.

There was no villain, no woman to save.

Achilles and Tina were together. He had taken good care of her all those time. Who was he to try to save the day ?

He was much like Don Quichotte fighting against the windmills, in vain, for invisible threats. The enemy he tried to fight didn’t exist ; in fact, in a way, he was in own enemy. He was a fool, a fool in love and that made him unstable.

It wasn’t an excuse for his terrible behavior — it was only the truth. His truth.

 

“Why?”

 

_Why ? Because I care about you. Because I love you. I have always loved you._

_Because you are everything to me._

_I can’t imagine my life without you. You are the most frustrating — yet amazing woman I have ever met and I love you Porpentina Goldstein. I would do anything for you._

 

She had snapped, and he knew that he could not answer her question truthfully. That she would never be able to listen to his words and their meanings. Yet, maybe those three words would have solved the problem. Maybe it would have changed everything.

Newt Scamander thought about the time turner his family used to own before it was taken away by the ministry and let his mind wonder towards the irresistible idea that he could maybe change everything. All he had to do was to turn the necklace a few times and he would find himself on the docks again, that special day where he should have told her everything. He would wait for the boat to leave and run after her. Tina would be surprised to find him here of course — and smile, maybe, at the way his nervousness would keep him from explaining what had gone through his mind. So he would kiss her because no words could explain what he would feel. He would gently brush her soft lips and savor her bewilderment as she would give in.

He would tell her how amazing he thinks she is. How much she means to him. He would tell her that he would come back for her no matter what because he was growing quite fond of her.

She wouldn’t believe that he had asked Leta to marry him. Wouldn’t need to become intimate with Achilles Tolliver and everything would be well.

It was a lovely fantasy he loved to immerse himself in — but like any fantasies it lead only to a dead end. _It is what it is,_ he thought.

Tina had her hands on her hips, and was still looking right at him, expecting an answer of any kind, but he had none that would satisfy her. He ran away from her gaze, eyes on the carpet beneath his feet. He ran away, not telling her that he would do anything to ensure she would live the life she deserved, whether it was with or without him.

He loved her. He loved her more than anything in this world.

 

“I — I wanted to protect you” he whispered so softly he hoped she would never understand what he had just said. And by the time the last syllable had crossed his lips, he realized that he had made a mistake. He should have never said that.

 

“I don’t need _you_ , Mr. Scamander. I don’t need anyone. I can take care of myself”

 

It felt like an arrow through the heart, and something deep inside his soul broke at the sound of her voice. It was cold, significant and pronounced without any remorse. Of course, Newt knew she had said that out of anger and that she probably didn’t mean it — or maybe not that way. At least, that’s what he tried to convince himself. Her face was serious as ever, but began to soften as soon as she noticed the pain on the magizoologist freckled face.

 _I don’t need you._ He swallowed a lump in his throat as his eyes watered. It had never occurred to him that she would no longer enjoy his company, that she didn’t want his help, nor his presence. He had assumed that Queenie’s absence would create a void in her life, that he could be there for her so that she wouldn’t have to face this alone. But all this time — it had been for nothing.

She had said it herself. She didn’t need anyone. She didn’t need him. Why would she, when she already had everything ? Why would she, when she had Achilles ?

 _I don’t need you._ Why did it hurt so much ? He could feel the words stab his broken heart, and his vision blurred. Down, in his pocket, right next to his heart, he felt Pickett move. The Bowtruckle had laid low during the fight, knowing that it wasn’t the right time to make his presence known. The creature had his head against his pounding heart, obviously worried.

He had to do something. To go somewhere, anywhere. He couldn’t stay. Not when she had said that. Not when this apartment he had spent three weeks suffocated him.

Newt got up without any words, and walked to his case, his legs barely holding him up. He had everything packed already — courtesy of Achilles Tolliver who had helped him so that he would spend less time getting everything ready, and more time enjoying his friend’s company. Everything was ready for the next day, but he knew he would never make it to sunrise since his presence was no longer needed. He didn’t want to be her burden.

He got up, grabbed his case, and went slowly to the door, holding his breath. He didn’t know where to go, didn’t exactly want to leave but he had to. His hand was reaching for the doorknob when he heard her tearful voice, behind his back.

 

“What are you doing ?”

 

His heart clenched and a single tear escaped from his greenish eyes. He didn’t turn around for he knew that looking at her right now would only break him further.

He didn’t need to answer. She knew, he could tell. She knew what he was about to do — knew that she could prevent it if only she tried.

It could only take one word.

 _Stay_.

He would. He would stay forever if he knew he was welcome. He would stay forever for her.

 

“Tell— Tell me you’re happy.” He said instead.

 

_I dare you to._

 

He stared at her earnestly, biting his lips in order to overcome another wave of grief. His grip tightened on the handle of his case and for a moment, it seemed like it was the only thing that kept him up. He stared at her, trying not to fall apart — trying to catch an ounce of regret inside of those eyes he had always loved. Tina was on the verge of tears, and her lips were wobbling against her will. The fire in her eyes was gone, replaced by salty pearls dancing into the darkness, much like a stormy ocean of nothingness. Newt Scamander did his best not to stare into them for too long, knowing that her clouded pupils would swallow him, and then, he wouldn’t be able to leave, should it be her decision.

Tina had a choice. And he was feeling awful for binding her that way, but he needed to hear it from her mouth — whatever answer she would give. And indeed, she didn’t seem pleased. She was standing by the fire, exactly at opposite, frozen and considering his request. Her mouth opened a few times to voice what he thought would be a complain but no sound escaped from her throat.

 

“Tell me he makes you happy and I will leave.” Newt reiterated, sorrowfully, after a while.

 

All she had to do was cross the room and throw herself into his arms. All would be forgiven.

All she had to do was to lock her door to prevent him from leaving ; the wizard wouldn’t fight. He would stay with her for as long as she needed.

All he wanted her to do was to tell him that she wanted him here, that she forgave him.

She only had to ask him to stay.

But Tina did none of that. Tina couldn’t do any of that.

Their eyes remained locked unknowingly playing the dangerous game of who would break the contact first.

Newt fought.

Tina gave up.

 

“I — I am.” She whispered, head down, eyes filled with tears.

 

_But you don’t seem happy._

 

He smiled bitterly and nodded in understanding. It was his queue to leave, and she had made herself perfectly clear. She didn’t need him in her life anymore. The words had been said.

She was setting him free ; He was letting her go.

 

* * *

 

 

Porpentina Goldstein watched him from the chimney as he slowly made his way through the threshold, her hands clasped over her mouth.

She had immediately regretted her words. All of them for the fright of losing him was stronger than her anger.

She wanted to run after him, to tell him she was sorry, that she hadn’t meant any of this but her legs remained frozen on the spot. She was shaking, unable to tear her eyes away from him as she knew that it would be the last time. Her mind captured the way his tousled hair waved and curled on the top of his head, and how the lightening of the room made it look more ginger and less blond — she had never settled for any color yet. She grasped at every single details ; the color of his coat, the way his socks appeared slightly above his shoes, and the little cut mark above his jaw — thanks Rachel the Hippogriff for that. She wanted to reach out and hold him just to remember what it feels like to be surrounded by his love and care. But she didn’t. It was the last time she got to see him, and she didn’t.

Newt seemed to acknowledge this as well for he looked up to her once more, his green eyes filled with tears that threatened to roll down his cheek. He looked miserable and heartbroken and it was all her fault. He stared at her once more, and Tina felt his pain deep inside the heart as she tore it apart. She had done this to him. She had asked him to leave when she could have told him the truth ; she wanted him to stay. But he couldn’t. She couldn’t do this to him. Couldn’t ask him to stay if she didn’t know if it was worth it.

He didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t say anything, really. He just nodded and smiled bitterly before the door closed on him.

And he disappeared.

It was the last time, and she didn’t tell him. She didn’t tell him that she loved him in a way she couldn’t fully understand, that she needed him around for he was keeping her sane.

She should have asked him for more time, she should have explained the situation. All she needed was time to sort out her feeling. All she needed was time — but how long ? How long would she keep him waiting for something that could just as well never happen?

Silence fell upon the apartment and Tina shivered. It suddenly felt cold and empty and unsafe. It felt exactly as if a dementor had entered her place and was ready to suck her soul out of her body — or at least, that was the mental representation she had at this moment since she had never met such a monster. Everything was empty — her heart, her mind, her place.

He had left.

It was over.

This little adventure. It was all over.

He was gone. And so was Achilles. And Queenie.

She had the power of casting everyone out of her own life, pushing them towards the exit, hoping to save them from her grasp. They wouldn’t leave, and she loved them too much to see them suffer.

She was alone.

Truly, desperately alone.

Newt was gone.

Shaking, the brunette made her way towards the sofa that had hosted the magizoologist body for three weeks and let herself fall on the comfortable cushions. Her legs could not carry her no more, the weight on her shoulders was too heavy to bare. Her tensed body relaxed within the comfort of her own furniture as she closed her eyes, rubbing her sore temples. She buried her face on the fabric and noticed that it smelled like him, like fresh-cut grass and wet ground, a very particular yet pleasant scent.

She sighed sadly.

He was _gone_.

_What have I done ?_

And like a hurricane, her sorrow hit her. Tears escaped from her eyes in rivers, slowing wetting her furniture as she held the pillow against her chest. She held on so tight, overwhelmed by anger — at herself mostly, at this situation. Uncontrollable sobs escaped from her wet lips as she realized that Newt was gone — and would never come back. _He will never come back._ That Achilles had left knowing that the British wizard fancied her — and probably wondered if she loved him too. He was gone as well, and she didn’t want it to end this way. She appreciated him and never meant to break his heart.

But Newt loves her — loved her. He had made that clear, after all these years.

And she loves him too : that’s why she had to let him go, to set him free.

She couldn’t stand the pain in his eyes, the sorrow that followed him whenever he saw her and Achilles together. She couldn’t ask him to wait for something she wasn’t sure would happen. Why did he have to come back to New York ? Why did her chase after her in Paris ? All of that could have been avoided if he hadn’t made his way back into her life.

As soon as she had seen his face, in the sewers that day, she had known.

She had known that she hadn’t gotten over him. She had known that she had been lying to Achilles, or at least not telling him the truth.

And she hated herself for it. She loved Newt and she had broken his heart. She — felt whatever she felt for Achilles and she hadn’t been truthful, which had only resulted in him getting hurt as well.

Newt had said he wanted her happiness — well she wanted nothing more for him.

No matter how much she loved him : she had to set him free.

 _Because_ she loved him.

She did.

She wasn’t good enough for him. Not for anyone.

She had just broken his heart.

And Tina cried all night long, regretting her words and actions until she fell asleep on the couch, surrounded by his earthy scent. That night, she made a strange dream.

She dreamt that Newt was hurt and that she never had the chance to tell him how she felt.

She dreamt that he was gone thinking she hated him.

 


	8. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About to leave, Newt confesses his thoughts to his best friend Jacob and comes up with a plan to salvage Achilles and Tina's relationship. On the other hand, the brunette is dealing with remorse and tries to apologize for her behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well, it is already Saturday, which means another chapter :D
> 
> Thank you for your lovely comments, and your interest for this story ! We are almost halfway there, but nothing to worry about ! Plenty of things need to happen before that haha :)
> 
> This chapter ends what I consider the first part of this Fanfiction, which was set in New York. I hope you will enjoy it as much as you did with the previous one (which trust me, I know, was truly heartbreaking !) Don't forget to tell me what you thought of it, and I will see you in a few days for the rest of the story
> 
> As always, you know the drill : I am french, wasn't beta-ed therefore all mistakes are mine and mine alone. I hope they won't bother you too much !
> 
> Happy reading !

The harbor was empty, and so were the docks. It was maybe six in the morning, and they had been sitting together for a long time now, staring at the horizon with weary and tearful eyes.  Peacefully minding his own business, a swan swam past them, bowing his gracious neck to catch some kind of fish underwater, and they both watched it with interest. They hadn’t said much, once the situation had been explained. There wasn’t much to say — much to do. What was done was done, and nothing could change it. They had simply watched as the dark sky turned purples — pink and then orange, admiring the beauty of the nature around them. It was such a sight, yet, people didn’t seem to admire it unless their world was ending. There was something mildly comforting in this explosion of colors : the idea of rebirth, maybe. Everyday was different, and maybe, today would be  — maybe tomorrow. The sun, above the water was peaking, and it almost looked like the the tide was burning, lightening the face of the two man lost in their thoughts.

They were both exhausted, their faces worn, dark circles spreading under their eyes. After his fight with Tina, Newt had wandered around the city by night, purposeless with no place to go.  This hadn’t been the outcome he had imagined for his visit — his very last visit. His steps had been hesitant, heavy with grief, as he went through many alleyways and dark streets. He could have gotten lost, or attacked, but he hadn’t cared. He had lost her.

He knew he could have gone inside his case for a while — to think, and maybe rest but he hadn’t wanted to. He hadn’t been tired — only heartbroken. He needed to occupy his mind so that her words, her face wouldn’t come surging back to haunt him. It was too late. Every thing he saw reminded him of that brunette he loved. The lights on the streets evoked her smile, the darkness of the Hudson river was reminiscent of her beautiful eyes.

The British Wizard wanted to leave this place. It was too painful. But there was still something he had to do… One last heroic act.

His steps had taken him to Jacob’s apartment without much thoughts, and since there was light coming out of the window, Newt had only guessed the baker had already been awake, ready to start off the day. Newt hadn’t knocked, hadn’t moved to make himself known, he had simply waited outside the small apartment his friend rented near his bakery, the apartment that had been destroyed during his first stay in New York.

When the No-Maj’ had crossed his threshold, he had found his best friend waiting for him on the corridor, and had pitied the despair he had observed inside of his green orbs. As the incredibly nice man he was, Jacob had made arrangement with his colleague so that he wouldn’t have to be at work before eight. Henry, his second, had accepted gladly, which had allowed the two friends to have a little talk while walking around ; there was no coffee shops opened at this hour to host their tired souls, and besides, he knew that it was the only way to make his magizoologist of a friend talk.

Newt had kept quiet as always, until the muggle had forced his words out of his mouth. And then, the strangest thing had happened. Newton Artemis Fido Scamander had began to talk, and had told him the detailed story of how his life had been separated forever from Tina Goldstein’s. The Magizoologist had been used to lock all of his feelings inside his heart and never voice them, so, once he opened the hatch, raw emotions bursted out of his mouth and never stopped. Like a waterfall, he had spilled his every thoughts, every hopes at loud, frustrated to having it kept to himself for so long, he had spat his anger and his disappointment. He had talked and he talked and Jacob had listened to his friend’s monologue with utmost care, patting his shoulder whenever he didn’t know how to console him.

They had walked side by side in New York, and their path had lead them to the docks, a place filled with memories, yet the promise of an escape to come. They had been sitting there for about an hour, watching the sunrise in silence, two man with a broken heart who had loved deeply and lost everything.

 

“You screwed up, Newt.” Jacob suddenly said, and there was something bitter in his voice.  “You could have had everything…”

 

There was a moment of silence in which both of them acknowledged what had just been said. The waves crashed against pier melodically, rocking their tired minds like the sweetest lullaby, as a sweet breeze came to caress their nape. They both shivered, surprised by the cold. Newt turned toward his friend whose kind eyes were lost in the sea in front of them, and he instantly knew that it wasn’t the water he was observing.

Jacob was lost in time, in space, lost perhaps in a moment in history where he had been happy. Truly happy. And his happiness only had one name : Queenie. The muggle had a soft, yet pained smile on his round face — he was dreaming of his golden haired witch, wishing she had never joined Grindelwald. For a moment, the wizard felt incredibly selfish for bringing his love life on the table when he knew how much his confident had suffered from Queenie’s departure. Just like Tina had — and it was something the two of them had in common : they both blamed themselves for it. After Paris, Jacob had been the shadow of himself and Newt’s presence, Tina’s guilt had been the only thing to keep him going. Newt had witnessed the sorrow in his friend’s eyes, and he felt guilty for bringing those memories into the surface.

Tina was gone — but she was still his Tina. Queenie had changed so much she was beyond redemption. Or was she ? Had it been the brunette, would he have forgave her ? Probably, yes.

He bit his chapped lips, damaged because of the salt within his tears, returning to the quiet ocean in front of him. The first boat was slowly making its way towards the two of them, breaking the waves.

He knew he had messed everything up. Newt was a giver, and he had wanted to give her everything — even what she had never needed. The Auror had never asked of him to become friends with Achilles, that was his decision. And what a poor idea. He should have minded his own business and it would have been just fine.

She would be there with him, walking him to the docks just like old time, and he would run a hand through her hair. She would be there, her heart belonging to Achilles, but he wouldn’t mind, because at the moment, Tina would be right by his side and it was all that mattered.

 

“So what now ? What of Tina ?”

 

Newt smiled bitterly for the mention of her name alone was enough to break his heart further. It sounded like his greatest loss and defeat. It tasted like regret and tears. It felt like his nightmarish dream and his dreamlike nightmare. Somehow, he wondered if Jacob felt the same whenever they mentioned Queenie, or if this feeling passed after some time, but he didn’t have the heart to ask away, not right now.

 _What of Tina_ _?_ He sighed. This same question had busied his mind all night long, as he was roaming the magnificent sleepy New York City. What would happen to her now that he was going ? Now that he was about to move on ? After all, he had messed up her relationship with her Auror, and was now granting her wish to leave her alone. A solution to his very delicate problem had actually popped in his mind as he had reached Jacob’s. The building had sparkled some memories, buried deep. It wouldn’t be the best, but it would have to do. It wouldn’t be the best  — it was all he could do.

Newt patted his pocket in search for a very specific item he had retrieved from his case a few hours prior. Against his palm laid a cold, glowing blue vial they both knew very well. He held it for his friend to see and Jacob’s features darkened at the sight.

The Swooping Evil’s venom — the very last bit he had left. The muggle tried to speak, but the wizard beat him to it.

 

“He won’t remember any of it — and they will be happy together.” He whispered, staring at the flask between his hands.

 

Its power had been demonstrated before — there was no way it wouldn’t work. It had wiped out the memories of the entire No-Maj’ population of New York City, surely it would remove one particular souvenir from a very strong wizard’s head. Besides, it only erased bad memories, and finding Tina’s picture was most probably the worst souvenir Newt had left inside of Achilles Tolliver’s heart. Everything else would remain untouched : his love for Tina would remain genuine, their friendship would survive since the unfortunate accident would have never happened. And the brunette would be happy at last.

He would carefully slip it into the Auror’s coffee and everything would go back to normal for them. Newt knew that the blond wizard liked to have his coffee at exactly seven in the morning in a place called Ed’s situated near MACUSA. It would be easy — to do at least. Mentally, less so.

But he was doing this for Tina. He had to remember that. He was giving her a chance to forget about him at last, now that she had cleared him out of her sight. He was offering her a new life. To her and Achilles : the life they had both wanted. The life they both deserved.

 

“Will you let her — Will you let Tina know — that I fixed my mistake ?” He croaked, because it was too hard to say her name, before turning his gaze away from his friend, wiping away a single tear from his eyes.

 

It was the least he could do after destroying her future. It was his only redemption.

Jacob nodded and Newt was assured that he would make his request his personal battle.  He trusted the american gentleman with his life, and somehow, it almost felt like he entrusted him with it. Jacob and Tina were close, so it shouldn’t be a bother. They were good friends now, better than they had ever been : losing Queenie had brought them closer in their misery. It was almost mindly hilarious to think that. He knew his message would get to her, and that everything would go back to normal. It would be like he had never visited at all — like none of this had ever happened.

He hoped it would be.

Newt sighed. He wouldn’t have the same chance as Achilles. He would never forget about those events and how they had ended. So would Tina.

 _Sometimes_ , he thought, _you could be burdened with knowledge_. But everything would be okay from now on and that’s all he wanted to think about.

Yet, worries had spread on the plump muggle’s face as he began to touch his mustache in wonder. His eyebrows furrowed, and Newt Scamander could almost see the shadow of his thoughts passing through his somber eyes. Jacob Kowalski had realized what his words had implied.

 

“You are not coming back, are you ?”

 

It wasn’t exactly a question, but more of a statement. The British wizard sighed heavily, smiling softly at his best friend, the best man he had ever met.

No, he wouldn’t be coming back. Even if there was his friends here, even if he had so many memories.

He could not come back. He had to let her go, and let go of the memories attached to her.

Newt Scamander had a life in London. A good life. He had a rather small but comfortable apartment downtown, with a basement full of his beasts. He had his family, and more importantly, his brother Theseus, with whom he had found himself closer after Leta Lestrange’s death. He had a job he appreciated, an assistant to help him preserve his beasts. What more could he yearn for except for her ?

 

“I’m gonna miss you Jacob” He whispered earnestly.

 

And here was his answer.

 

* * *

 

Porpentina Goldstein woke up on the couch, her lips swollen, and damp dark locks in front of her eyes. Lost, and sleepy, she carefully eyed at her watch, and winced. It was almost noon and she couldn’t believe she had slept for so long. Today was the first day of December, it was almost noon and — Newt was leaving today, in fact, he was leaving now.

The witch sat, still holding her pillow against her chest, that same pillow that had warmly welcomed her tears the night before. He was leaving — today, now, maybe he was already gone. She felt a tug in her heart, thinking that she should have been here with him, remembering how they hadn’t said goodbye to each other the day before. Despite her anger and despair, she had woken up feeling guilty about the words she had said, about what she had asked him to do.

She had never wanted him to leave. But it had been the best thing for him to do.

She couldn’t ask him to stay. But she couldn’t have him leave thinking she hated him.

She needed to see him — tell him one last time. And maybe it would hurt the both of them, maybe it would break their hearts further but at least, they would part on good terms. He needed to know — that she loved him too much to see him hurt, loved him too much to see him go.

Quickly, she jolted up and ran to brush her teeth and arrange her hair a little. A simple flick of her wrist and her outfit from the previous day was replaced by a casual Sunday look. A simple pair of black trousers with a white shirt and her usual black shoes. Nothing out of ordinary.

Once sure that the lights were off, that every windows were closed, the witch disapparated near the docks where she knew he would be. There was only five minutes left before the departure, and if she hurried, she would perhaps be able to find him and apologize for her recent behavior. Despite the fact that she was tall, she slightly jumped to get a glimpse of the crowded harbor, wondering if she was too late. Maybe he was already inside the boat ? Had the horn sounded ?

She remembered on his tickets that he would embark on _The Joly_ , situated at the other side of the port. The Boat was still anchored, as far as she could see, and a few more people were getting in.  It wasn’t too late, she tried to convince herself. They were too many muggles so she couldn’t just magic herself in front of the ship, hoping to catch one magizoologist she wished she hadn’t send off.

There was only one way to get to him on time.

Remembering her Auror training, she began to run towards him, her heels clicking on the ground, hair tangled by the wind. She ran for her life, ran as fast as she could, her feet barely touching the pavement for she rushed to him, tears in her eyes, her voice singing his beautiful name.

 

“Newt ? Newt ! Wait, please !” She yelled, hoping to be heard.

 

The No-Maj’s turned their head towards her, confusedly staring at her as she eased her way amongst them. Some of them got pushed over on the process, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t care.

From afar, she thought she saw the majestic blue coat he loved to wear and that amazing case of his. She called after him again, as he was slowly making his way on the plank to access his launch. She sprinted, she could still make it —

Suddenly, her body collapsed against a strangely firm chest, knocking her off her feet. To avoid getting hurt, she rolled over gracefully, feeling a slight ache down her knees and elbows.

 

“Tina?” She heard a familiar voice exclaim.

 

That voice. That face. That smile. It was the last person she had expected to find here — of all the places, yet here he was. She couldn’t mistake those blond curls and those beaming blue eyes. She would recognize them in a million. She opened her mouth, utterly surprised and caught off guard while he was already profusely apologizing for her fall, offering his hand to put her back up. She accepted and soon felt herself flown off the ground, and back against his chest. The brunette blushed as he put both of his hands around her shoulders, rubbing the spots where her body had hit the cold ground.

 

“Achilles — What — ?”

 

What was he doing here ? Why would he come ? Was it for Newt ? Had he forgiven him already ? — Tina knew that her lover was merciful, yet twenty-four hours hadn’t even passed since the accident, and she hadn’t thought she would see him so soon. Especially not here. Why he had come here, Porpentina didn’t understand, but found that it was a question to be answered later.

Anxiously, he eyed at the Joly that was now closer than ever. Her unwanted plunge on the pavement had delayed her run, and her apology who was still weighing heavy on her heart. She eyed at the boat, hoping to catch a glance at him — hoping to find in the mass of strangers, his beautiful and familiar face. But she was too late. The plank had been removed, and the British wizard had disappeared inside, out of her sight. Out of her reach.

She sighed.

Her words would forever hang at the tip of her tongue.

Her regrets and guilt would follow her everywhere she would go.

 

“Looks like we missed him.” Achilles whispered, staring at the glorious steamboat gliding away from them.

 

There was such sadness in his voice — disappointment even.

 

“Looks like we did.” She answered sadly.

 

Achilles sighed loudly before reaching out for Tina’s hand, lacing their fingers together as they watched the boat strive away. His palm was warm against hers, reassuring even. But somehow, it all felt wrong.

She fled his embrace, crossing her arms on her chest.

He didn't mind.

It wasn’t his hand she wanted to hold.

Wasn’t his being she wanted to feel nearby.

She shivered, wondering when they needed talk about what had happened, and if they _should_ talk about it at all. Maybe.

But right now, it was just the two of them, in front of the ocean, staring at what was now a dot in the horizon.

 


	9. PS : I miss you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been 6 months since Newt Scamander has last visited New York City and things are not going very well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there friends,
> 
> It's Saturday again, yay ! I hope you had an amazing week !  
> Here is chapter 9 for you guys, I hope you will enjoy it ! We go back to Newt and give voice to characters we have only mentioned so far, and some of them will be rather important for the next chapters hehe ! Next week, we are going back to Tina and Achilles, excited ? :D  
> Wow, we are almost halfway through this ! Time flies, right ?
> 
> Anyway, for this chapter, I was corrected and beta-ed by @Nakahisa (thank you love for helping me making this story better, you angel <3)
> 
> Please let me know what you thought about it, your comments and reactions are always the highlight of my weeks !

Bunty has been working with Newt Scamander every day for more than two years now, and she had never seen him that way. Of course — she paid a lot of attention to him, he was her boss after all, and one of the finest wizard of England, of course — nothing more.

Whenever he was not in the Ministry, Newt would be in his basement, either taking care of his creatures or writing at his desk, and the assistant wondered if he had another book coming up. It was a possibility, yet, they haven’t discovered or analyzed any new species in a while now, so she couldn’t exactly think what it would be all about. And whenever she asked, he avoided her question. She could tell that he was embarrassed, so after a while, she stopped.

He always avoided her questions anyway. But she couldn’t help but think that this time something was wrong.

From being an assistant, Bunty had become Newt Scamander’s caretaker after she noticed that he didn’t feed himself properly. He constantly skipped dinner, and the results were starting to show : his tight shirts were now hanging loose around his waist, and his cheeks were hollow.

She always arrived at the apartment with a basket she had prepared the day before, filled with groceries or already made meals, and asked him to have lunch or dinner with her before they went out in the basement to mend the beasts. He usually accepted, but didn’t voice a word. Bunty didn’t mind : as long as he was eating, she was happy. They were both lonely, and feeling each others presences was enough to fill their needs.

For the first few months, she had thought about going to the Ministry and see Theseus, with whom she was well acquainted now, and talk to him about his little brother, but somehow, she felt like it was not her place. Surely, the Auror, who visited his sibling three times a week had noticed the lack of light in the Magizoologist’s incredible eyes, the way he kept on dragging his own body around, listlessly. It felt like he had no goals, no hopes anymore, and Bunty couldn’t bear seeing him like this, he who was usually so full of life. There was no longer a smile on Newt Scamander’s face, but rather an everlasting frown that didn’t suit his freckled face. There was no longer wonder in his greenish eyes but pain and disappointment. What had happened to the man she admired so much?

One day, while he had gone out to meet his brother, the witch had made her way into his office, looking for more dittany for the wounded baby niffler who had had a nasty fall down in the Kelpie’s pit (she had warned them not to venture in this area but they never listened to her). The vials were supposed to be in the third drawer of his wooden desk, but when she tried to open it, she found out it was closed. The witch tapped her wand on the knob and suddenly, the cabinet burst open, throwing hundreds of papers flying around, much to the creatures’ amusement. With horror, the red-haired woman ran around, trying to gather them all — Newt wouldn’t be pleased if he thought she had been snooping around, which was absolutely not what she had wanted to do in the first place.

Bunty sighed, the papers neatly resting between her hands. She had avoided another crisis today. Yet — her blue eyes fell upon Dougal, who had taken one of the pages while they were floating around the basement, and was now reading it carefully. Dougal was never the kind of beasts that caused trouble, so she was surprised to see him out of his soft habitat. With hurried steps, hands on her hips, the assistant reached the Demiguise who, scared that he might be scolded at, vanished, leaving the paper falling on the ground, landing on tiny drops of water.

Bunty took the liberty to check the contents of the page, just to make sure that whatever was written there hadn’t been damaged by the liquid on the ground.

Her brows furrowed when her eyes fell on the first words, and those after. Quickly, she hurried to the desk, where she had stacked the pile of paper she had gathered a few minutes ago, finally realizing what the wizard had been up to these past few months.

He had been writing letters. Hundreds of unsent letters to the same person.

Porpentina Goldstein.

Of course — She should have seen it coming. Bunty sighed. She had met the brunette after Paris, when Newt had offered his home to those who had survived the attack, until they could talk to Dumbledore. Tina hadn’t been able to sleep, and had gone down in the basement. When the assistant had arrived that day, she had found this stranger, playing with the niffler, surrounded by the demiguise and the now fully grown up occamys. Never, in her life, had she seen Newt’s creatures so fond of a stranger. They weren’t even this tender with her, and she had been taking care of them for months. But Tina wasn’t a complete stranger to either of them, wasn’t she ? The red-hair had seen her before, taped inside of Newt’s case. She was the woman whose picture he had been carrying.

Bunty liked Porpentina Goldstein. She was a strong, formidable woman who seemed to care about Newt a lot. However, since the wizard had come back from his trip to New York, he hadn’t been the same, and from the content of the letters before her eyes, the woman could guess that something had happened between the two of them, and that the British wizard had ended up heartbroken.

She let her eyes wander around the many pages and a few tears rolled down her cheeks and deep down, she almost wished the american witch could read it as well. If she hadn’t been in love before — she would be now. Anyone would be now.

 

_ Tina, _

 

_ I love you, _

_ I’ll never forget you. _

_ I love you. I do. _

_ I would give everything up for you. _

 

——

 

_ Tina — Ms. Goldstein, _

 

_ Please be safe. _

_ Please be happy. _

_ Just be happy. _

 

——

 

_ Porpentina Goldstein, _

_ I have never loved anyone quite like you. _

_ And if I’ll never love again, that’s fine by me, _

_ Deep inside, I just know that you were the one, _

_ You were my only, _

_ You could have made me happy. _

 

——

  
  


There were more letters, but Bunty didn’t have the heart to read them, because, somehow she wished those rough thoughts — because it was what they were — were addressed to her.

 

* * *

 

 

Theseus Scamander had never been an exemplary brother, that, he was most aware of. Whenever Newt had found himself in trouble, he hadn’t been there to help, or just to support him the way he should have done. He had seen other kids bullying him in Hogwarts, calling him names, knocking his books in hallways, but had done nothing, too scared to suffer the same fate. Children were mean to one another, but they were particularly mean to Newt who barely managed to defend himself. His stutter made the others laugh, and his blood boil. Yet, he did nothing to rescue him, and comforted his brother afterwards, not understanding that it was too late and that the damage was done.

Theseus hadn’t defended him either when their parents got mad at Newt’s expulsion even though he knew that his sibling had done nothing wrong. That he was only protecting his best friend Leta Lestrange who they both liked very much. He had kept his mouth shut, knowing that the girl he was madly in love with would get in much more in trouble if her parents ever found out about that.

Theseus Scamander was well aware that he hadn’t been the brother Newton had needed back then. At the time, it seemed like their differences were drawing them away from each other s , and the Auror didn’t know how to reach out the young boy. Newt was strangely clumsy when it came to human relationship : he neither accepted his acts of tenderness nor came to him to seek for help.

For years, he had thought that the two of them were never meant to get along, but after losing his dear fiancé to Grindelwald, he had found out that they had a lot more in common than they thought. And so, the eldest of the family had taken upon himself to protect his little brother the way he should have done all those years ago. It was time for him to set the records straight and finally accept his role as the eldest. It was maybe the only good thing about grief : it brought people closer, it reunited brothers.

To prove him that he had his back, Theseus had finally helped Newt to get his travel ban lifted so that he would be able to go to New York again. It had seemed important back then for him to try five times, and it was the least he could do after all the help the magizoologist had given them. It hadn’t taken long for the Auror to understand what had motivated his relentless attempts before the attack of Paris, and the thought of it alone was enough to bring a smile on his face. Little Newton Scamander was smitten with an American Auror — who would have thought that it would happen ? He who proclaimed that he hated Aurors. 

He had noticed that, totally by accident, when they had gone to his apartment to spend the night, before meeting Dumbledore. Woken up early by disturbing dreams, he had come down the basement only to find his tousled haired brother staring at something in awe. He had remained by the edge of the stairs, hoping to go unnoticed. Theseus had turned his head to see what could have held his attention this way, and had been blessed with the sight of the brunette, surrounded by Newt’s creatures. She wasn’t aware of their presence, and kept on stroking the niffler’s fur while the huge Zouwu had fallen curled around her. The Demiguise was on her shoulder, his eyes glowing blue, and the Occamys had nestled on her thighs. The severe auror who had tied him into a chair now appeared delicate and well — enchanting. Her eyes seemed sleepy and puffy from having cried all night, but it seemed like she had found some comfort with the beasts. 

It was a beautiful scene to witness — even Theseus could admit that. But it was the look of Newton’s face was what had moved him the most. There was such adoration in his green eyes, and he had looked at her as if she were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. A naive smirk was painted all over his lips while he literally glowed. Finally aware that she was being watched, the witch had turned to Newt and smiled at him. Theseus had chuckled upon noticing how Newt had blushed, finally joining her and sitting next to her on what appeared to be a low wall that separated habitats.

And at that moment, Theseus Scamander had understood the strength of their bond, the power of their relationship and had made it his personal mission to allow his sweet brother to be reunited with her.

Little Newt had finally gone to visit his American Auror, and while everyone expected him to return happy at last, he had come back to England more upset than he had ever seen him.

No investigation was needed : all the clues were there. Something had happened and Theseus was dying to know what. But as his usual self, his brother was not cooperative, keeping his mouth shut, and his eyes all watery. So far, all his efforts had been vain : Newt hadn’t talked about it.

It had been six months since his last travel, and he had made no attempts to go back. Newt had lost some weight and seemed awfully unlike himself. Even though he had tried to cheer him up, nothing seemed to work. Newt was inconsolable.

One day, Theseus had entered the beasts department hoping to have lunch with his sibling, when he had found the wizard at his desk, staring at a white envelope between his hands. From the look of confusion on his face, there was no need to guess from whom it was from.

 

“Why don’t you open it ? ” Theseus had said, pushing the door open and settling on the chair in front of his brother’s desk, legs crossed and a smug smile on his face.

 

He was hoping to tease the man, but then Newt had stared at him, and all he saw was sheer pain and distraught. He was staring at the ink, caressing the surface of the envelope before finally throwing it on the other side of the desk, as if it had burnt his skin raw, as if it were cursed. Newt tried to immerse himself back into his work, but his mind wasn’t at it, that much was clear. With a smile, Theseus accioed the piece of paper, seizing it, much to his brother’s horror.

 

“If you don’t, I will.” The Auror said, smiling, as his fingers began to rip it open.

 

“Please. Don’t.”

 

There was something in his voice that made Theseus stop, the letter half opened in his hands. He laid it still on the desk, before looking at his brother who was fidgeting nervously, face hidden behind his fringe. He kept on biting his lips nervously, eyes stuck on that letter as if it could explode any time. It was Tina’s letter, the Auror had recognized the handwriting since MACUSA and the Ministry had exchanged a lot about Grindelwald’s whereabouts.

It was Tina’s letter. He should have been filled with joy.

 

“Newt… What’s going on?” He asked.

 

His mouth opened a few times, but no words came out. Tears were dancing in his eyes, and his hand had started to tremble, which had the oldest Scamander worried. A few quiet minutes went by, the atmosphere was heavy. None of them said anything. Newt was trying to gather some courage, while the Auror wanted to show support and prove to him that he would accept what Newt shared. That he wouldn’t judge. 

That he was here for him.

Always.

 

“She doesn’t need me.” He broke at last. 

 

And Newton Artemis Fido Scamander finally opened up about what happened those weeks in New York, about how it had both been the best and worst moments of his life. He told his big brother about Tina, the mixed signals he had gotten from her and her last request. He told him everything with a shaky voice that wouldn’t stop breaking. And Theseus listened to him, with a lump in his throat, finally becoming aware that it was the first time his little brother confessed anything to him.  Never in their lives had they shared such an intimate moment together. The thought of it alone brought unwanted tears into his eyes, and he waited until the wizard was done to hold him in his arms, both for comfort and thankfulness. This time, Newton didn’t tense nor tried to escape the embrace, but caved in, holding on to his big brother for dear’s life.

 

 

 

* * *

  
  


_ Dear Scamander, _

 

_ Please excuse my cheekiness, for I have only realized that we have never corresponded before. I think it’s time for us to correct that mistake, my dear friend. I have been meaning to send you this letter for a few months now, but MACUSA has been busy with many raids. Work has been hectic, but we are doing fine. We managed to get a hold of some of Grindelwald’s followers, but so far, no luck on Queenie. We are still looking for her. _

 

_ I must apologize for I was not able to say goodbye to you the last time : Tina and I almost made it on time but we were delayed by an impromptu. I wish we could have walked you down the dock and wish you a safe return. We were both really sad to have missed your departure, Newt, and we hope you had a safe travel, even if it’s been months since you last visited. _

 

_ How about you? How is life in the other side of the pond ? Is the ministry treating you well ? And please, do tell me that dear Rachel is happy to be home. I imagine you have taken her on a ride already, and I can easily imagine how stretching her wings must have felt like. Please send my regards to her, and to all your fantastic beasts of course. _

 

_ We haven’t heard from you in so long, I hope you are well. If you get this letter, would you please answer us ? Has something happened between you and Tina ? I feel like there is something she is not telling me, and whenever I mention you, she gets all bothered. I think she is worried about you, Scamander, since we haven’t received any news in months… _

 

_ I think Tina misses you, and allow myself to guess that wherever you are, you are missing her as well. You two have such an incredible friendship, it would be a shame to let it go to waste, don’t you think ? _

_ Besides, our nights at the bar are dearly missed, and I long for you to tell me all about your recents adventures and the beasts you discovered. Please, do let me know when you decide to come back — if you ever want to. I will be waiting. Tina and I will both be waiting. _

 

_ Take care. _

 

_ Your dear friend, _

_ Achilles Tolliver. _

 

Newt sighed painfully. He hadn’t recognized the writing and it was the only reason he had opened the letter, but he was regretting it now, for the words he had just read had sent another wave of sadness filling his heart. He had tried so hard to forget about her, about them...

He ripped the letter into small pieces and threw them in the bin next to his desk at the ministry. His eyes settled on the photograph of his dear Auror he always kept on his table, concealed with a charm and therefore only visible to him. Tina, in the picture smiled sadly at him, almost apologetically. 

_ I don’t need you  _ she had said.

He ripped the picture into two, out of anger and frustration and left his office in a hurry. He had somewhere he needed to be. Anywhere but here.

It was the seventeenth of June. 

 


	10. Please, be safe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Achilles and Tina learn a terrible news and decide to go on a trip abroad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there ! 
> 
> Another saturday, another chapter ! I hope you will like this one as much as you did with the last one ! I promise you, from now on, things are going to get a little better every saturday ! There is hope at the end of this journey my friends <3  
> Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and your lovely comments : they push me forward ! You really are incredible !
> 
> As promised, an Achilles and Tina centered chapter :) I hope you will enjoy this hehe
> 
> Thank you @Nakahisa for your help with this chapter, your corrections and comment were appreciated : thank you for helping me make this story better :D
> 
> Now, i'm leaving you to your reading ! Enjoy <3

Achilles Tolliver entered the Goldstein apartment at around six in the evening with a frown instead of his usual playful smile. The day had been incredibly long and tiresome, and the Auror hadn’t had a moment for himself. He was assigned to a very tricky case, and had spent the entire day cut off from everyone else, investigating a suspicious shop that was said to host some of Grindelwald’s followers. Achilles’s mission was to observe and report back to the office but unfortunately the acolytes discovered his presence. The curly haired wizard had put up a fight, and had managed to shake off his pursuers but his cover was blown and they now knew that MACUSA was onto them. It had been a complete failure, and it was on him. After dropping his report on his desk, he had immediately left work to reunite with the woman that made his days seem a little brighter. Perhaps her presence would take his mind off his latest work performances. Would it ? At least, his undercover task had taken his worried thoughts off what he had in mind for tonight, which was perhaps for the best.

Tonight was the night, he had decided. 

It was now or never. 

They were supposed to meet up at exactly six thirty and go to a fancy restaurant, just the two of them. It had been a while since they had done that — a few months actually. Achilles was wearing a very tight black tuxedo for the occasion, and had carefully combed his curly hair out of his face. He had shaved and applied perfume on his neck to boost his confidence, which hadn’t worked so far. Too anxious, he had arrived early, expecting to find the woman he loved sitting by the window, as she had been doing for the past six months. There was not a night where he hadn’t found her that way, one leg on the ledge of the window, one on the ground. Her eyes focused in the distance, seeming to look at something that he could not, her mind at a place where he could no longer reach her. At times, Tina would get so lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear him come in, and would be startled when he kissed her cheek and held her from behind tenderly. It was as if she was stuck in her own world, far beyond his reach. What she was staring at would always remain a mystery to him, for she refused to answer any of his questions, her dark eyes watering as she shied away from him. It seemed like Tina was waiting for something, afraid to miss whatever this was if she didn’t stand by the window all night long. Achilles Tolliver had managed to figure out that it was Newt she seemed to await so faithfully. Or rather, letters from him. And it broke his heart to see that she wasn’t getting any. It was as if the magizoologist had erased her from his life.

For the past six months, the witch had been a shadow of her former self. She neither smiled or laughed, and barely ate if he wasn’t there to make sure that she was taking care of herself. Tina refused to sleep in her own bedroom, saying that it reminded her of too many bad memories and had moved to her couch, were he often found her curled, desperately holding the same pillow against her chest. She had been throwing herself into work a lot, moving heaven and earth to get a hold of Queenie, in vain. Porpentina Goldstein was sailing against the wind, expending all of her energy for nothing, which made his heart break. Ever since Newt had left the city — she hadn’t been herself. There used to be this sparkle inside of the abyss of her eyes whenever he was around. It was now gone, and her orbs were as cold as stone. He had tried all ways he knew to cheer her up, but there was nothing else he could do : she seemed stuck on that perpetual loop of guilt and disappointment.

The witch sighed a lot, and didn’t focus on whatever he was telling her. The woman he had loved was gone — it had left with Newt, on that steamboat.

However today, the window was closed and Tina wasn’t anywhere in the living room : not on the sofa — nor at the table working on upcoming cases. The Auror heard steps coming from what used to be Tina and Queenie’s bedroom, followed by some growls. Slowly, he reached the sliding door and knocked, waiting for her approval before entering. When she did, the strangest scene appeared in front of his beautiful blue eyes.

Not only was Tina not ready for dinner, but she seemed to be stuffing a rather small case with everything she could find — clothes, perfume, shoes, skin products, while running every now and then, to every sides of the room. She was still in her work outfit for the day, composed of grey trousers with a short sleeved shirt that embraced her form s quite nicely, he had to admit. It was the urgency in her moves, and worry in her dark eyes that made him wonder what was going on. 

 

“Tina — what — what are you doing?” He said, taken aback by the mess that was completely unlike her.

 

Her clothes were scattered all around the room, as if her wardrobe had exploded, and Achilles did his best not to look at anything she hadn’t wished for him to see. But Porpentina Goldstein had other things to think about, and didn’t seem to care about any of this. Like a tornado, she ran around, getting her stuff and pushing them inside her case in a hurry. She had enchanted it so that it would be much larger to hold everything she had packed — most of which she would probably never need.

 

“I’m going to London.” She answered, her voice shaking, as she closed the case with a huff and began to drag it towards the living room.

 

The witch casted a cleaning spell at her room and all of her remaining clothes began to fold themselves again neatly, before heading towards the wardrobe. Achilles, surprised by her answer, followed her to the main room with his thick eyebrows furrowed, and a hand down his golden hair.

Had she forgotten about tonight ? He hadn’t. For the past months, he had felt like she was drifting away from him, like she wasn’t even there when they were together… When he kissed her lips, she always complied but never initiated it — she never pushed him away but didn’t move her hands to touch his face or his hair. When he held her, she would stop moving, stop breathing, and he could tell that something was wrong. This wasn’t his Tina.

Tonight was supposed to change all that — Tonight was supposed to make them happy again, just like old times.

Something was going on inside that pretty head of hers, something he could not really explain, and despite all of his questions, he hadn’t had any luck so far. She wouldn’t talk about it. She wasn’t ready.

Would she have forgotten though ? They had been planning this night forever, organizing in advance because they knew that working at MACUSA, their free time was limited.

What could be in London that couldn’t wait ? Porpentina Goldstein was not the kind of woman to drop everything just because of a sudden urge to get away. She was not a quitter, nor a coward. She was a thoughtful person who needed to prepare in advance, especially mentally. This was not her usual behavior…

 

“I’m so sorry about tonight…  but there has been an attack.” She said, before shoving inside her case, some more items she might need for the travel she was about to take.

 

An attack ? In London ? How hadn’t he heard about that ? Achilles sighed, remembering how his day hadn’t left him a second to think nor focus on anything else but the shop in front of him. He remembered the smug smile on the followers’ faces, wondering if they had known about the success of their attack. He should have hexed them dead when he had the chance ! Attacking MOM? What an offense ! 

Tina must have seen his confusion, for she silently accio’d the newspaper that was laying in the middle of her table, opened at the right page. She handed it to him, before running to her bathroom to get her towels and beauty products.

Achilles Tolliver’s eyes widened upon reading the headline.

  
  


**Grindelwald’s followers attack the Ministry of Magic.**

 

_ On the evening of June 17th, about fifty devotees of wanted wizard Gellert Grindelwald attacked the British Ministry of Magic, leading to the deaths of five wizards and an estimated twenty wounded. The injured were brought to St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries and remain in critical condition. The Ministry is still looking for missing Aurors. All our thoughts go to the families of the victims. _

_ London has declared that the city will now be under maximum security, for both muggles and wizards. Hector Fawley is to be interviewed within the night about such a shocking event happening under his command. _

 

“Newt was hurt.” She whispered, once he had finished reading the paper.

 

Indeed, under the small article, the many names of the victims had been displayed. Newton Scamander was amongst the wounded. Other familiar names as well — but this one was the only one that truly mattered to the both of them. Achilles’ heart missed a beat, as he closed the damned thing and threw it on the table.

Now it all made sense. The urgency. The despair. She was afraid for him — and after six months of not hearing from him, the American Auror could understand why.

Grindelwald attacking MACUSA then MOM ? What was the meaning of all of this ? Why would they hurt the beasts division ? There was so much he couldn’t understand, so many things to take into account. His Auror-trained mind couldn’t help but wonder what was the purpose of these attacks, why they kept on abducting Aurors from all over the world. Was it for the threat ? The world was already shaking about the idea of another war…

 

“I’m coming with you.” He said, grabbing her arm to stop her for a minute. She spinned into his arms, eyebrow raised, before taking a step back.

 

She was about to answer, and from her features, he could already guess what she wanted to tell him. After dating Porpentina Goldstein for more than a year now, he knew her every reactions by heart. He chuckled upon already hearing her voice in his head.

 

_ You don’t have to. I can do this on my own, nothing will happen to me, don’t worry. You stay at MACUSA, and I will be back before you know it. Please — I just have to do this, just this once. I need to make sure he is okay — that he will be okay. I won’t be able to live with myself If I stay here. _

 

The brunette opened her mouth, but he stopped her at once, knowing that she could not deny him after what he was about to tell her.

 

“He is my friend too.”

 

He was. They were — or rather had been.

Until — Well… Until it all stopped for a reason that he couldn’t exactly understand.

He suspected that Newt and Tina had fought, but none of them had actually answered his questions. Maybe it was too fresh for the both of them — He couldn’t blame them. It was none of his business.

However Achilles had actually sent a letter not so long ago to enquire of the Magizoologist’s health and whereabouts, worried about the lack of communication between him and the woman that had stolen his heart. Before meeting Newton Scamander, the blond had been used to owls walking now and then in the Auror’s office, carrying a simple white envelope, or the sound of a beak tapping against a window whenever they were having dinner at her place. He knew how happy it made her, to receive news from him and she always blushed profusely whenever she read them. He could see how eager to respond she was, how his stories intrigued her and how desperately she wanted to be part of his world.

And upon seeing his girl joyful, Achilles couldn’t help but be grateful for that British wizard and what he brought her. Meeting him in New York, after hearing all about him for so long, had been like greeting an old friend. The Auror already knew everything there was to know about him, had read his books, had asked his girl multiple times about their adventures in New York.

They had shared a lot for the few weeks he was here. They had built a true friendship, and friends didn’t not let each other down.

Yes, Achilles wanted to go. To show his support, and care. He wanted to welcome the wizard back to the living, be that familiar happy face he would see once fully recovered. There was this need to make sure that everything would be alright — he wanted to be there for Tina as well, who would be devastated should Newt’s condition take a turn for the worse.

Yes, he would go, whether she liked it or not.

But the witch didn’t object. She merely nodded, before gathering her now longer locks into a tight ponytail. Her face was more serious than ever.

 

“I’ve notified Madam Picquery. We’re leaving in an hour by Portkey.”

 

Achilles nodded, watching her as she ran to the bedroom once more in a whirl of dark hair. He remained in the middle of the room for a few seconds, both disappointed about their night, and extremely worried about the situation in Europe. He sighed loudly, before slowly untying the bowtie he had decided to wear for the occasion. He wouldn’t need it anymore.

This wasn’t exactly how he had planned the night, nor the outcome he had been expected, he thought, as he carefully palmed the right pocket of his suit. There, secured and concealed by magic, was a small box he had been carrying around with him, hoping to find the right time.

Tonight, he had decided to propose to her. 

In his mind, she would have said yes, some happy tears trailing down her cheeks at the idea that their lives would be entwined forever. In his mind, he would have taken her home, holding hands, and as the gentleman he was, he would have wished her a goodnight sleep before going back to his own place. He would have called her “Future Mrs. Tolliver” and he would already have liked the sound of it. She would have laughed because of how forward it would have sounded, but she would have appreciated it as well. Tina would have closed that door, and they would have gone to sleep knowing that they would now, and forever be fiancés.

Achilles Tolliver sighed. This was not the good time, nor the good place. Would there ever be one ? Would he have to wait until the end of the war to claim this woman as his wife ?

He disapparated silently to his own apartment. He had less than an hour to pack his stuff and leave.

This wasn’t how he had pictured his first trip to London to be.

  
  


* * *

 

 

It was almost time to leave, and Porpentina Goldstein couldn’t think of anything else to bring with her. She had packed half of the contents of her wardrobe, had taken every bottle and vial that the cupboard in the bathroom once held. Her wand was concealed in her sleeve. Was there anything else she needed ? 

Madam Picquery had granted her and Achilles a full week’s leave for personal reasons, and had accepted their request to use MACUSA’s Portkey. London had heightened security measures, so their arrival had been announced in advance to MOM. She had packed everything in a hurry, and hadn’t exactly paid attention to whatever she was sticking into her leather case. It didn’t matter — nothing else mattered but him. She needed to see Newt, to make sure that he would be alright. He had to be, right ?

Just the thought of him unconscious on an hospital bed was enough to make her heart clench and her chest ache. The idea that he had tried to defend against Grindelwald’s followers and had been hurt in the process was slowly killing her and memories of his fight against Percival Graves resurfaced. She could see him getting hurt, blasted by flashes of lightning all over again, his body slowly succumbing to the pain. The brunette shook her head. She needed to stop thinking about this.

What of his beasts ? Was he alone or had his family come to watch over him ? Her tortured mind kept on bringing up the image of his head bleeding, bruises all over his freckled face, barely breathing. She could picture his lips, half open, and his beautiful green eyes fluttered shut. He wouldn’t wake up — not even in her imagination, not even upon hearing her voice and Porpentina Goldstein could not even bear the idea of losing him. 

Not to Grindelwald. 

Not ever.

That monstrous man had already stolen her sister away from her — she wouldn’t let him take the man she — the man who had changed her life either. He would have to go over her dead body.

She buried her worried face in her hands, rubbing her temples in exhaustion. Today had been a long day, and this terrible news hadn’t helped. She eyed worriedly at the clock on her wall that ticked but didn’t move fast enough for her. 

Maybe she was already too late. Maybe Newt had succumbed to his injuries. No — She couldn’t think that way. He was going to be alright. He had to be.

What would he think if he saw her there, by his side, after everything that had happened between them ? Would he be mad at her ? Would he have done the same ?

The brunette was scared. Scared he would hate her for breaking his heart and would never want to talk to her again. She wanted to apologize — to say that she hadn’t meant any of it.

That she needed him more than she could have imagined. That he was her everything and that he made her happy. And Porpentina Goldstein wanted to be happy.

 

_ Please Newt. I’m begging you. Please be okay. _

_ I don’t care if you are mad at me (You have every right to be)  — Just … Be okay. _

_ I can’t lose you. (But you already lost him). Not like this. I need you to live, and be happy (without me). Just be happy. _

_ Don’t leave me. _

_ (I love you) _

 

She smiled bitterly. She had known this for a while now. She had accepted it, and had tried to escape this feeling that was crushing her lungs a bit more everyday.

She loves him.

That was what made this all so complicated.

That was why she couldn’t let him go.

Not like this.

She was in love with him, and dating another man she liked. Who loved her in return. Who she wished she could have loved as well.

It wasn’t the case. It had been, perhaps — but her mind was so confused back there. She couldn’t tell if it had been love or deep affection. She appreciated Achilles.

She wanted Newt. Only him.

She needed Newt. Only him.

She was madly, desperately in love with Newt. She had been for a while now.

She sighed.

The clock struck seven.

It was time to leave.

It was the seventeenth of June.

 


	11. The Scamander Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina arrives to London and runs to the hospital to meet her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's not Saturday ! But I am in a good mood (it's spring break in France) and I thought I'd drop this chapter earlier. I hope you like this surprise update !
> 
> In today's chapter : The Newtina reunion ! yaaaaay ! Excited ? :D I know I am :D
> 
> I would like to thank @Nakahisa for all her work in this chapter and for doing it so quickly ! You are an angel <3
> 
> Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to my friend @bea_goldstein because I know it is her favorite of this entire fanfiction, and because without her help and constant enthusiasm, this story would have never been written at all <3 (by the way her fanfiction is awesome you should check it out!) Thank you Bea <3
> 
> Anyway, enough with the talking, let's get into it ! I hope you will enjoy this chapter, and let me know what you thought of it :D

Tina ran. Ran so fast she was like a whirl in this very white corridor.

There was only one number in her head. Ward 2003. That’s where she would find him, according to the nurse in the main office. How far could a ward be ?

Achilles had been told to stay behind, and a part of her felt grateful. Only two people were allowed in the room at the same time, and apparently the other Scamander was already there by his brother’s side which she, of course, was absolutely fine with. She needed privacy. Achilles couldn’t be here. She needed to be with Newt.

Had the corridors been enchanted to never end ? It felt like the more distance she covered, the longer the hallway got. She was out of breath, but hopefully not out of time. She needed to see him. She needed him, right now.

She loved him. She has always loved him — she had been blinded and confused but she could see it clearly now. Queenie — Newt, Achilles : she had been feeling so many different things, all at the same time she hadn’t been able to tell them apart. Sometimes, one has to lose someone in order to figure out that one can’t live without them. She had mistaken her tenderness for Achilles as love, a love that did not truly blossom. She had wanted to return his affection because he was everything she had been looking for in a man and because he had been there for her when she was at her worst but all this time, her heart was beating for Newt. No matter how hard she tried to reciprocate Achilles’ feelings, her heart ached for the British wizard. 

She had never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would have thought that one day, she would have two men courting her ? Tina had thought those kind of stories only happened in the bad romance novels her sister used to read, the same ones that she secretly borrowed from time to time. In those stories, no one ended up heartbroken and it all seemed so easy.

She had never wanted this, and didn’t know how to fix it. She had already brought them so much pain. First Newt, when she had told him to leave, out of despair and confusion — and soon Achilles would be heartbroken as well. Now that she was aware of the nature of her feelings for the British magizoologist, she didn’t want to keep lying to him anymore. It wouldn’t be fair to him, and to the remaining fondness and affection that stirred in her heart.

Tina hated herself for it. For not being able to understand herself, for chasing after the wrong dreams and making the wrong choices. For pushing Newt away from her life when she was not ready to see him leave. All she wanted was for him to stay. For allowing Achilles to continue being in love with her even though she was now unable to fully reciprocate it. She had thought she could be happy with the Auror — and for a while, she had been. Maybe, in another life, they could have been married, and spent eternity together. But in this reality, she had met Newt, and he had been her everything.

It had always been Newt. Ever since that day at the docks. Even when she thought he was engaged to Leta. Ever since he had burst into her life unexpectedly in New York. It had been him even when she had told him to leave. She had broken his heart because it seemed necessary at the time, because she wasn’t sure she could be with him, because she cared too much about responding back to Achilles to realize that this situation was hurting everyone. 

Her heart screamed his name as she passed the many rooms in this endless corridor. Her mind replayed his last words in her mind. She had to fix this. He had done everything for her, had obliviated the man she was seeing to give her a chance of happiness. She wanted to, at least, return the favor. She owed him that.

He had to be okay. He had to be so she could finally admit what they had been yearning for, all these years.

Tina stopped, out of breath. She had finally reached ward 2003. He was behind this glass door, and she felt her heart beat even faster, threatening to escape her chest. She could already see the bed, and the distinct shape of a man laying on it.

Her hand fell on the doorknob, hesitant. What would she find when she opened that door ? She sighed.

Porpentina loathed hospitals. It always seemed to bring back the worst memories from her childhood. She remembered visiting her parents when they were gravely ill, holding little Queenie’s hand in her own, opening the door to a different nightmare. Affected by Dragon Pox, their parents’ skins had first turned green, and sparks began to come out of their nostrils whenever they sneezed. It had amused Queenie, who didn’t understand what was happening. Tina remembered having to wear a mask, for the disease was extremely contagious, and not being allowed to touch her mother when all she wanted to do was run into her arms. Tina didn’t mind the bumps nor the greenish complexion : she had just wanted her parents.

She recalled opening the door to the terrible sound of her father’s last rale as he died in front of her eyes. She had managed to block her sister’s eyes and ears which had left her with no choice but to witness death for the first time. Their mother had followed shortly, but the nurses had pulled them out of the room before it happened. Those memories were still present in her mind, in her heart.

Tina hated the sense of unease she felt in hospitals. To her, behind those pristine looking pillars and doors, were ward beds of people whose bodies were ravaged by illnesses and looking so frail. It seemed like the more she entered a hospital, the higher the probability of her having to witness a death of a loved one again. Like now.

Tina held her breath. She could do this. She had to. For Newt.

Her hand pushed the door open and then flew to her mouth to muffle a gasp.

 

Only a few feet away from her, she could clearly make out the shape of a man whose back was facing her. His head, wrapped with large bandages was stained with blood and from the way his torso rose and fell with every breath, she could tell that he was soundly asleep. He laid still, his body covered with a white blanket to keep him warm and the sight of this wounded body made Porpentina Goldstein’s eyes water.

 

“Newt… What happened to you ?” She whispered as she approached the man, legs shaking, barely able to support her own weight. Her hand fell on his shoulder, and he didn’t move.

 

“Tina ? —” Whispered a voice behind her.

 

She froze.

This voice.

The way he had said her name.

She had to be dreaming, she thought. This couldn’t be.

But he repeated it. Her name.  _ Tina _ . Louder this time.

It couldn’t be true. Or rather — she refused to believe it.

Porpentina Goldstein took a deep breath, heart pounding in her chest and slowly turned around, as a tear escaped from her particularly dark eyes. Startled, she took a step back, not believing  her weary eyes as she took in the sight of the person in front of her.

Newton Artemis Fido Scamander was on his feet, leaning against the wall. There was a chair next to him, and his coat hang on the rack. There Newton Scamander stood, staring sleepily at her, obviously not expecting her to burst into this room out of nowhere. There was no bruise on his face, no blood running from his temple, only dark circles under his eyes that were not shining as much as they used to. He didn’t seem injured, though he had lost some weight, as she noticed from his hollow cheeks. He wore a white shirt that was slightly untucked from his beige trousers, which highlighted his now thin body. The wizard ruffled his hair awkwardly, confused and surprised by her visit.

The witch remained by the bed, wondering whose body she had been weeping over, torn between the relief of seeing him in such a good shape, worriedness and sheer happiness.

She looked at him from across the room, alive and well and that was when she knew.

Tina knew she could never let him go again. She  had missed him more than anyone else.

And she looked at him in a way she had never experienced before. She stared at him with the knowledge that she loved him, and him only, and suddenly it felt like his entire face radiated. Every single part of him glowed, and she found herself daydreaming, observing him as if he were other one of the seven wonders of the world. She wanted to count his freckles, and find her favorite. Wanted to kiss his eyelids closed, to run a hand through his hair that had always fascinated her. There was something about his eyes, something that had changed. The green-blue orbs resembled the stormy ocean, as waves of tears danced in them. There was something about him — something different. She had never seen him so beautiful — utterly, undoubtedly beautiful.

Overwhelmed by this feeling, the brunette took a few steps towards the wall behind her, resting heavily against it, hoping not to fall. She loved him. And she knew that.

At that exact moment, Tina wanted to run into his arms, and feel his heart beating in his chest. Tina wanted to breathe in his very particular scent and make sure that she wasn’t dreaming. She couldn’t be, right ? Her body seemed frozen into place, her mouth opened in amazement, while her eyes let out a cascade of tears she hadn’t meant to spill.

 

“What are you doing here ?” Newt tried to sound cold, but the surprise and the emotion in his voice couldn’t lie to her. Once the shock abated, his eyes fled hers, head hung low, and stared at his feet.

 

“I thought you — I — The article said —” She began, and for once, it was her who stumbled over her words.

 

She would have been amused by this if the situation hadn’t been particularly heavy. Her mind couldn’t help but notice how she seemed to be at a loss for words whenever Newt was around. Would it always be like this ? Has it always been like this ?

 

“Oh, People seem to have mistaken my brother and I…” He answered sadly, fidgeting at his spot, afraid to take a step towards her.

 

Tina’s dark eyes moved back to his face, and she recalled the cutting remark about the magazine that had made her believe that he was engaged to another woman. The magazine that had lead her directly into Achilles Tolliver’s arms. She should have known not to believe everything newspapers said — People made mistakes and it could destroy lives. Her gaze dropped to the sleeping body on the hospital bed who she now knew as Theseus’s. It all made sense now, Newt’s presence, his defeated features. It was his brother laying on the bed, his brother whose life was at stake.

 

“Newt — I’m so sorry about Theseus.” She started, and stopped.

 

Tina winced. It had sounded strange and unlike what she had meant. She just wanted the magizoologist to know that she hoped his brother would fully recover, how sorry she was that Theseus had been targeted by this attack. 

His sad green eyes settled on his brother’s body, a brother she knew meant the world to him, even though they hadn't always gotten along. He didn’t reply, it was as if he hadn’t heard what she said, lost in his own thoughts as he continued to gaze at his resting sibling. She could only imagine how she would feel like if it were Queenie on that bed. What would she have done ?

 

“I thought you were injured. I — I was so scared, Newt. I —” She tried, but stopped all at once when he shot her a most upset look.

 

_ I was afraid I would never get to see you again. _

_ I was afraid you’d die thinking I didn’t need you. _

_ I was afraid Newt — I had to come. _

 

It almost felt like he had read her thought, because for a minute, he gazed at her fondly, trying to prevent salty pearls from falling off his cheeks. His lips — his beautiful lips started to quiver, and his body trembled after all the pressure of the day.

 

“Please — I really — I really wish to be alone with my brother right now.” He whispered.

 

He was not ready to deal with this situation.

This was not the time, nor the place.

And it was fine, Tina thought.

She could wait.

She would wait.

She had every intention to apologize properly.

But it wouldn’t be in a hospital. It wouldn’t be near his injured brother.

They had time. She could wait.

 

“Of course.” The witch complied with a sigh.

 

And Tina slowly made her way out of the room, feeling his gaze on her. She moved closer to the glass door, and noticed Achilles on the other side, his warm blue eyes on her, his hands held both of their cases tightly. She sighed, wishing she didn’t have to leave this room, wishing she didn’t have to do what she was about to. She glanced at the Auror standing behind the door and without thinking, turned around to meet the British wizard’s eyes. Newt didn’t look away, though he seemed surprised and curious, an eyebrow raised, still relying on the wall to keep his body upright.

 

“Newt ? I am sorry.”

 

She felt it wouldn’t be nearly enough to win him back, but it was a start. 

Based on Newt’s expression, she guessed that he understood exactly what she had meant.

Tina turned towards the door, leaving the ward without looking back.

If she had, she would have seen the pang of pain on his face, as well as the tear he had shed, carefully wiped with the back of his hand. If she had looked back, she would have seen the disbelief on his face, the way she rubbed his eyes, unsure of what had just happened. Whether he was dreaming or not.

He wasn’t.

She had come to London for him. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

Achilles Tolliver had been watching through the glass door for a few minutes, witnessing what he had thought would be a heartbreaking reunion. They hadn’t seen each others in six months, yet — they both remained frozen, each one at the opposite side of the room, both relying on the wall. How strange.

He had been surprised at first, to see his dear friend Newton Scamander up and well, before finally understanding the mistake that had been made. During his stay in New York, the magizoologist had mentioned his brother a couple of times, and the nurse, when they had arrived at the main desk with their luggages and out of breath, had complained about the number of people that visited their beloved war hero.

Relief had filled his heart knowing that his friend was alright and that nothing serious had happened to him directly. Tina’s mind would finally be at peace.

He had never seen her so agitated. As soon as they had set foot in the Ministry, she had insisted on heading to St Mungo’s immediately, without even stopping to drop off their cases at the hotel they had booked last minute. Achilles had complied, understanding how important this was to her, and had told her to go first. He had watched her race down the hallways and for a moment, just a moment, he saw a sparkle in her eyes he hadn’t seen in six months. It was strange, he thought. He had always pictured Tina as a raging fire, untamed, burning — and Newt as water, quiet and silent. Yet only he, her opposite, seemed to awake that glint in her eyes. He who was everything she wasn’t. He who, at the same time, was very much like her.

Achilles Tolliver watched them behind the glass door, feeling excluded from this relationship they had been cultivating for years. There was hurt in both of their eyes, and they were trembling. Strange indeed.

They looked happy — and confused, both of them, that much he could see. However there was something cold in Newt Scamander’s eyes he had never seen before. It looked like a man who had been broken too many times, a man who was afraid to fall.

He had seen it somewhere — it looked incredibly familiar. But where ? And suddenly, the American Auror saw something strange — like a memory that was hidden from him, a dream that resurfaced. There was a flash in front of his eyes and he saw the blurry edges of Newt’s case : they were both inside of his shack. Something must have happened because the British wizard looked miserable — much like he was at this moment. They were inside his case, in his shack — Newt was holding what seemed like a scrap of newspaper in his hands, eyes filled with tears.

The door of the room opened, and he shook his head. It must have been the heat of the corridor and the lack of sleep playing on his nerves. But it had all looked so real…

He waved a greeting to his friend from his position at the doorway, feeling like he did not belong inside this white hospital room, and got his beloved back.

There was such seriousness painted all over her face he found himself worrying, suddenly.

 

“Is everything okay?” He asked, pushing a strand of hair out of her pretty face.

 

Deep down, Achilles Tolliver knew he shouldn’t have asked that.

But he was too nice of a man — too much in love.

Tina Goldstein bit her lip as she stared at him earnestly, and he could already feel his heart breaking.

He had been expecting this for quite some time. He just hadn’t thought that it would be right now. He wasn’t ready for this.

He palmed the ring that was still in his coat, realizing that some birds weren’t meant to be caged, and that he had gotten it in hope to have her by his side forever. He wasn’t ready to let go.

 

“Achilles — Could we talk ?” 

 

He nodded, knowing that it was the end.

Knowing that their story had never really begun.

 


	12. The Art of Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina and Achilles talk and decide to part ways :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again friends !
> 
> So, I am back for my usual Saturday chapter, which I hope you will like ! In today's chapter, we will explore Achilles Tolliver's thoughts during an important talk about his relationship with Tina, and more importantly, her feelings for Newt :D
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love and support you are always bringing me ! I am always excited when it comes to Saturdays because I cannot wait to share this story with you :D Thank you a thousand times !
> 
> And most importantly, thank you to my beta @Nakahisa who had to correct two chapters in no time and who has done it amazingly as always !
> 
> Anywaaay, back to the reading ! Let me know what you thought of that chapter and I will see you next week for Chapter 13 :D

“Please, say something.”

 

There was something in her voice that made his heart clench. Maybe it was the way she kept on blaming herself and wanted to be blamed in return. Over and over again she had apologized, and it had made him feel dizzy. It was as if she was expecting him to be enraged by the news and yell at her for something she had no control over. Because it was true.  _ The heart wants what the heart wants _ , he thought. Everything would be easier if it weren’t the case.

She sat at the edge of the bed and he could easily picture her biting her lips while awaiting for the moment he would snap, eyes set on the carpet at her feet ; he had been pacing to and fro during her story, raking his hand through his hair every now and then until he had finally settled by the opened window. The gentle breeze calmed him down, and the lingering smell of a spring night had filled his nostrils. It could have been a good day : Newt was well, they were in London, the weather was agreeable. It should have been a good day, until she decided to break up with him.

Achilles Tolliver didn’t respond. He remained still inside Tina’s hotel room, staring at the night outside. He couldn’t face her at the moment, and he didn’t want her to see the tears pooling in his eyes. Everything was silent, unlike the inside of his mind where thoughts were racing, trying to process everything that had been said. Achilles tightly gripped the box in his pocket, and pulled it out, his back blocking her view from the ring that would now never belong to her.

It was a simple golden circle, set with small diamonds in its middle — it was new, for his late mother’s ring had gone to his older brother, who had gotten married a few years ago. The american Auror had been searching for ages for the perfect one, and as soon as he had seen it, he had thought of her. The way the ring was designed was simple but beautiful, and it reminded him of Tina, a woman who may appear plain but had such incredible beauty that was hidden within her. There was no other woman it would fit, he thought, as he removed the ring from the box, holding it in his palm. It had been made for her.

Achilles turned around to face the woman he would have given everything for, and she was still hoping for him to answer, to react. Porpentina Goldstein had never been more beautiful, he noticed sorrowfully. Even though there was sadness on her face and so much regret in her eyes, her entire body seemed lighter, as if she was freed from a burden that had weighed her down. Her dark orbs were burning in a way he had never witnessed, ignited with hope and dreams. Porpentina Goldstein was in love, and it was why, perhaps, she was glowing. He had been her burden. She was free from his grasp.

The witch had explained the situation with utmost honesty — for which he was grateful for. She had revealed the situation without hiding any of the facts, had told him about the shared adventure she and Newt had experienced. The Auror had realized how much he hadn’t known about the girl he had wished to marry. He did not question Tina though. She had, by her own will, shared about the events they were involved in for the past years : the full content of their previous adventure in New York, what had occurred in Paris when they were at the beginning of their relationship, and then the eventful weeks in New York when the two men had finally met. The witch had told Achilles everything, from her feelings to the fact that he had been obliviated. Even though she had described what she knew about his gone memories, Achilles was unable to recall the events on his own. A part of him doubted he would ever get his memories back.

_ She never cheated on you, why would you be mad ? _ he had reasoned. The brunette would have never done something of the sort, that he was certain. The fact that she had just told him to whole story was a proof enough. Besides he knew her. He loved her.

 

“What is there for me to say, Tina ?” He sighed, resigned. “You’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you ? There is nothing I can say or do that would make you come back to me, isn’t it?”

 

The witch shook her head, and he smiled bitterly, averting his eyes to whatever was happening outside, trying to avoid facing up to his feelings. Of course not. She was leaving him for good to chase after what she had truly desired all this time.

His heart was broken — but he wasn’t feeling angry as anyone in his shoes would have been.  The blond wizard had every right to be, didn’t he ? The woman with whom he had shared the past year or so was leaving him for another man. A man she had always loved, deep down. What had he been to her ? A rebound ? A way to forget about the British wizard who she thought was getting married to his sweetheart from school ?

His heart was broken but — he wasn’t as devastated as he thought he would be. How could he ? It wasn’t much of a surprise. Deep down, he had always suspected that there was something more between the two of them, and had now proof that it was indeed true. Achilles Tolliver liked to see the good in people, and that included the woman he was in love with. He liked to believe that her heart belonged to him, yet clearly, it had never been less true.

Newt and Tina’s relationship had always seemed so deep to him. So unique that he had never managed to be a part of them. The world didn’t matter to them whenever they were together, and somehow, he too ceased to exist as well, every single time.

He remembered watching them dance together, and it had almost felt like both of their souls had merged into one : their steps had been graceful and in harmony, as though they had been doing this their entire life. And maybe they had. Maybe they had been circling around each others for so long now all they could do was take a step closer together, in perfect unity. And it was beautiful. They were beautiful and they deserved a chance.

Achilles Tolliver remembered what he had thought that night.

_ They belong to one another. _

 

“You know, I feel like somehow I knew. Your mind was with me, but your heart — your heart always belonged to someone else. And when he came to New York — When you were around him, it was like I hadn’t known you at all.”

 

The Tina he knew was a driven woman who served justice, and justice only. She had poise, backed down from nothing to do whatever was right and dared question the hierarchy whenever it felt right. She was strong, independent and commanded respect amongst her colleagues, which, from what he had heard, hadn’t always been the case. But what had drawn him to Porpentina Goldstein was how broken she was, how sensitive she had proven herself to be : he had seen it through the cracks of the shield she put up to protect herself against the cruel world. The Auror acted all determined and fierce to hide her true nature : she was a woman who cared, who loved, who felt everything — perhaps too deeply for her own sake.

That was the Tina Achilles had known. The Tina that did not let her mask down, not even when with him, not even in their most intimate moments. 

With Newt however, she opened up way more, allowed herself to laugh heartily, to say everything that was going on inside that wonderful brain of hers. With Newt, she was different. Much more relaxed. Much more natural. She was herself — she was glowing.

Who wouldn’t want that ? To be around someone that makes them feel comfortable enough to lower their guard, and break out of their shells. Newton Scamander was that man for her. And if it meant that she would spend her eternity filled with the most joyous days, if that could put a smile on that delicate face of hers, then who was he to deny her that.

 

“It was foolish of me to think you’d actually fall in love with me.” Achilles whispered, mostly for himself.

 

He heard Tina move from behind his back, and turned to see her slender self approaching slowly. There was so much remorse on her face he felt bad for having to make her go through all of it.

It was pretty clear that she had never meant to hurt him in any way, and it pained her to have done so. The brunette had told him that she had never been in this position before, that most of the time it happened to Queenie when they were younger, that she would have considered herself lucky to have one man interested in her at that time, and even now. She didn’t know what to do.

She had explained every situation, with kindness and care — telling him that he had done nothing wrong, that it was all on her (while meaning it of course). He had put her into a terrible situation — having to choose between two man wasn’t exactly a enviable spot, and Achilles couldn’t imagine being in her place. What would he have done if he had to choose between his heart and his reason ? Between his dreams and safety ?

Her hand fell on his shoulder awkwardly, as she tried to soothe his aching heart in vain. Her touch burnt his skin, souvenir of a love that was never returned. At least that was what he thought.

 

“I have loved you — just not the way you wanted me to. But I did care a lot about you Achilles — I still do… But —”

 

“It’s him. It has always been him.” He finished for her, and with that, she sighed, her mouth forming a sad smile.

 

Tina nodded in silence, her eyes falling on his features and for a moment — just a moment, he understood what she had said back there. She cared for him and maybe — maybe it wasn’t the way he had wanted it to be. But she liked him, enjoyed spending time with him : what more could he want from her ? If it was all she was willing to give, then he was fine with it. She had expressed many times during her explanation, her true desire to remain friends, should he be ready for that.

While that didn’t exactly feel possible at the moment, the Auror had a good feeling about it. Besides, he had become well acquainted with Newt Scamander as well, and was not ready to let that friendship go. If that’s what she desired, he would comply.

She was worth the sacrifice. 

 

“Can you forgive me?” She whispered sorrowfully.

 

Tears were dancing inside her dark orbs, and Achilles Tolliver got up from the seat in front of the window, and took her hands into his for what seemed like the last time. His fingers caressed her burning skin, trying to soothe her, and he held his breath. He wanted to enjoy every second of this moment for it was more assuredly the end of their romance. He dived head first into the beautiful darkness of her eyes, finding himself lost in the pond of nothingness, and smiled. He would miss this. Oh, he would miss her.

But there was nothing to forgive, only much to overcome. Only a broken heart to mend, and an absence to fill. And maybe one day, he would be done getting over her — he would be freed of the undying fidelity he had vowed to offer her in his head.

 

“I just want you to be happy Tina...” He said earnestly.

 

He noticed how a pearl cascaded down from her particularly shiny eyes, and brushed it away with his thumb while his hand rested on her cheek. She chuckled, and put her own hand on his.

 

“ … Even if it’s not with me.”

 

Tina threw herself into his arms into what seemed like the most desperate embrace he had ever experienced. Achilles froze, realizing that it was probably the first time in their relationship that she had initiated any sort of physical contact. His hand rested on her back, pulling her closer to him, burying his nose in her beautiful hair. The Auror closed his eyes, trying to memorise the shape of her body against his, the fragrance that emanated from her, the warmth of her skin, and the unusual beating of her heart. He tried to remember this all, to take it all in.

 

“How did I get so lucky to meet a man like you ?” She whispered, as she held him tighter. “You deserve better than me.”

 

And maybe he did.

Maybe one day, he would find someone who would love him the way he loved her.

But not today.

Not today.

Today, they talked and talked for a while, until she was no longer able to hold back her yawns. Knowing she had had a long day filled with contradictory emotions, Achilles Tolliver, with an aching heart, made to go back to his room, bidding her a good night sleep, and assuring her that no matter what had happened, they would remain good friends — though it would take some time. He watched as she climbed into her bed, and succumbed to her exhaustion in no time, and he left.

The American Auror pushed his door open and collapsed on his bed as well. It was already four in the morning, but he was not feeling tired. The recent turn of events had made him painfully awake. There was so much on his mind, he wasn’t sure he would be able to get any rest.

His hand drew out the picture he was always carrying with him inside his pocket and stared at it with a sad smile. Porpentina Goldstein was beaming, but the two of them were no longer holding hands. It represented the happiest moment of his life, and he had to accept the fact that it was now gone. Even the photograph reflected it.

 

“Diffindo.”

 

The picture tore itself into two parts ; and Achilles immediately got rid of his half of the photograph, only to keep the side which Tina was in. He noted her smile, remembering her laughter that day, as they had walked into Central Park’s zoo. He remembered that sad frown as they had reached the hippopotamus’ enclosure, soon followed by a regretful grin — had she thought about Newt that day ? Without the shadow of a doubt. This was exactly the pained yet blissful smile she always had whenever the magizoologist was around — and he imagined Newt reciprocating it as well.

The blond closed his eyes, as flashes of what felt like a memory came rushing back into his mind, the same flashes he had experienced in front of Newt’s hospital room a few hours prior. Only this time, he could hear his own voice. He remembered the anger, the hurt. Remembered the look on his best friend’s face as he tried to explain himself in vain.

 

_ “Newt — Why do you have a picture of Tina ?” “It’s not what you think —” “You love her. That’s why you are here. You are here to win her over, aren’t you ?” _

 

Achilles smiled bitterly. He could understand now why they had become such good friends ; what had brought them closer in the first place. Not only did they love the same woman, but they were also ready to give up their own happiness for her : wasn’t it the ultimate act of love ?

He had been wrong all along, and it all made sense now that Tina had confessed. Newt had never been there to win his girl. Newt had stayed to make sure that she was taken care of, that she was contented with him — because that was all he had ever wanted for her. That was why the British wizard had disappeared, never answering any of their letters.

He had wanted to leave them be, let them have the life he felt he didn’t belong to.  _ How brave, how respectful _ , Achilles thought, _ how it must have hurt. _

He sighed.

_ Oh, how much it hurts. _

Overwhelmed by the recent event, and the recovery of unwanted memories, Achilles got out of his bed, pushed the picture inside of his breast pocket, and took his coat before exiting the room in a hurry. He needed to get out of here, get away from his own thoughts. What better than roaming around London City and use its beauty to erase the sadness of a rejected man ?

And so Achilles Tolliver wandered about that night, without any purpose, trying to process his mixed feelings by walking around, admiring how majestic Big Ben was, piercing into the veil of low-lying clouds, how Tower Bridge stood tall and proud above the somber Thames. He  had the ring in his hand, clenching at it for dear life, willing himself to let go of that dream he had been holding on to. The dream of Tina and him being a relationship much like the one Newt and Tina shared.

He closed his eyes and grasped at his wand with his free hand.When he opened them again, the ring in his hand was no more, but had turned into the most beautiful silver butterfly he had ever seen. The creature flapped its beautiful wings, twirling in front of his weary eyes in the most beautiful dance he had ever witnessed. Achilles smiled into the night, hypnotized by the color and the beauty of what had been his engagement ring a few minutes prior. He watched it as flew away from him — glimmering as it made its way up towards the sky. Achilles followed its way with a steady gaze, aware that some creatures were only meant to be freed.

He had just done that. He had let her go.

 


	13. Here to win him back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porpentina Goldstein is finally ready to fight for her true love. Is Newt ready to let her back into his life ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning everyone ! 
> 
> I hope you had an amazing week ! I just came back from London where I met Tom Hiddleston, the actual inspiration for Achilles Tolliver and it was amazing ! Anyway, enough with my life ! You have waited long enough for this update !
> 
> Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and your lovely comments that make me want to write so many more stories and share them with you guys <3
> 
> In this chapter, we will finally have some more Newtina. Things are starting to look great for them, don't you think ?
> 
> I particularly thank my beta @Nakahisa for all her work and addition for this chapter ! Without her help, it wouldn't be as amazing as it is ! Thank you so much sweetie !
> 
> Now, please, enjoy this chapter and let me know what you thought about it ;)

Porpentina Goldstein was never afraid to fight. She had been doing this  for her whole life, ever since her parents had passed. Back then, there wasn’t much of a choice. It was either fighting for her life or dying and she had chosen to live.

She had fought to give Queenie and herself a good life that would have made their parents proud. Confronted adversity to become the person she wanted to be.

She had fought to be an Auror despite what people thoughts, despite no one believing in her.

And now, she was about to fight for the man she loved. The man whose heart she had broken.

Newton Scamander was not an easy man to win back, the brunette had noticed, after a few days of desperate attempts to patch up things between them. She hadn’t imagined he would be : she was well aware that the British wizard had trouble trusting people. She knew he needed time, but four days had already passed and she wasn’t making any progress es . Newton, despite acknowledging her presence, hadn’t spoken to her outside of small, courteous talks. She persevered because she refused to back down. She refused to let him slip between her fingers once more.

Tina had spent her past four days by his side, offering her help to him and his family, who had come to visit Theseus. She would still be present even after they left to attend to other matters.

She visited every morning from ten to twelve, and every evenings from four to six. Most of the time, when Theseus was asleep, they remained at other sides of the room in silence, sneaking glances at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. He would sometimes ask her to watch over Theseus while he talked to the nurse, and come back with hope in his eyes, asking "Did he wake while I was gone ?" ; Every day, Tina would grab a cup of coffee for herself when she needed it, and always offered to bring him a cup of tea. Newt had refused her offers initially, but had caved in after one particularly rough night. Since then, the witch would bring him something to eat whenever she came to visit, knowing that he was only back at his apartment to feed his creatures with his assistant early in the morning, and late at night. He slept at his place, though not nearly enough, judging from the dark rings under his beautiful eyes. Newt always seemed grateful for her thoughtfulness, and ate whatever she brought him — it was always gone when she came back.

When Theseus rested, Porpentina would read to fill the void of the silence, while Newt seemed lost in his thoughts. There were times where she would be immersed in her readings that she wouldn’t notice how he younger Scamander’s eyes fluttered, and how painfully he was trying to remain awake. The clock would strike six, and that was when she would look up, only to see his head lolled on his chest, breathing deeply, arms curled around his torso. These sights always elicit a strange but not unwanted feeling from within her, and she would approach him, careful not to disturb his much-needed rest, and conjure a blanket around his weary body. Each time, Tina would leave a note before leaving, telling him that she had gone back to her hotel, that he could always contact her should he need help or anything, and wishing him a good night.

  
If the British Auror was awake — which was increasing in frequency these days, she would watch the two brothers share a game of chess, and sometimes join them for a game of cards — if the eldest was not too tired.  He was getting better, and stronger, and it was only a matter of time before the doctor released him from his white prison. When Theseus had first awoken, he had been quite surprised to see Tina by his side with his brother, and had inquired if she had been the one who had tied him to the bed — which had made Newt laugh. The smirk on his smug, yet exhausted face had reassured her about his health. He would be fine. And Newt would be as well.

Porpentina Goldstein had dedicated her days to the Scamanders in hope to prove herself worthy of Newt’s trust. She could see in his deep blue eyes the hesitation, and the fear of falling again. She just wanted him to know that she would always catch him, that she will always be right by his side.

There were so many things she wished she could tell him. Many things she wanted him to know.

Tina hadn’t mentioned the fact that she and Achilles had broken up. It was not the appropriate time nor place to say. What good would it do ? The magizoologist was concerned about his brother’s health more than anything, and telling him the news wouldn’t exactly help either of them.

Yet, Porpentina Goldstein arrived on evening of the fifth day bearing pastries she had found on the way to the hospital : enough for the two brothers should Theseus want one. She had waited a long time in line to get them, and was running a little late. As she pushed the room door opened, the sight of a lone Newt greeted her. The bed had been made, Theseus’ clothes and belonging were already packed and ready to leave. The British Auror was nowhere to be seen, and for a moment, Tina had a flashback to when she was younger, entering the ward to see neatly made beds, sans her parents, and two packed bags waiting to be claimed. 

_ No. It couldn’t be… _

 

“Theseus is getting released today.”

 

Newt must have sensed her confusion and fright, for he took long strides towards her, smiling shyly. It was the first time ever since she had arrived that he behaved that way around her. The first time he approached her without any urging from her, besides getting the steaming cup of tea she would bring him. She had forgotten how unique his eyes looked up close, how intriguing it was to her when they changed colors depending on the light or weather. Today, they wore a beautiful shade of light green.

Tina smiled back, handing him the pastries he accepted gratefully. It was finally an amazing news after the most stressing days they had spent. She could only imagine how it must be like for him, to be finally freed of this constant fear of losing the brother he seemed to get closer to everyday.

 

“That’s wonderful to hear! And how are you feeling ?” She inquired, hoping that their first proper conversation in months wouldn’t remain monosyllable like before.

 

“Oh — He is getting better but he will stay at my place for a couple of days just to be sure —”

 

The witch chuckled at his blatant euphoria, which she knew, made him stumble upon his words and babble. She found it adorable, the way strong emotions affected every movement and features of his. Newt Scamander blushed when he was embarrassed or flustered. He stuttered when he was angry, rambled on when he was happy, and his eyes shone with wonder whenever he was amazed. Porpentina Goldstein had seen many emotions on the face of the man who had stolen her heart, and always found herself enraptured by such a sight.

The wizard stopped talking, head tilted with a quizzical look, curious about why she would giggle at his response. 

 

“Newt, how are you today ?” She repeated.

 

“O..Oh! Good — I’m — Good.” He whispered, smiling from ear to ear as he held her gaze for the first time in days.

 

They both stopped breathing, lost in each other’s eyes, so close and yet so far, silence surrounding them. Tina opened her mouth, willing herself to speak but no sound escaped her throat. She was finally about to say something when Theseus re-entered the room, absolutely delighted to announce to them that he had done more exams and would be free to go in about two hours. The Auror didn’t seem to notice that he had interrupted a long-awaited moment, as he sat at the nearest empty spot on the bed, and teased his brother with a playful smile. The eldest thanked Tina for the pastries, and they had a nice conversation over cups of tea and coffee. They laughed and talked, and for that moment Tina felt like she finally belonged.

Theseus seemed to like her. Newt wasn’t mad at her anymore, or didn’t appear to at least.

There was still a chance.

As the clock struck six, Tina left with a happy smile.

There wasn’t much contributed by her today — yet it had been everything to her.

She still had two more days to win him back.

 

* * *

 

 

“How long?” Theseus had asked, on the edge of the bed, as soon as the door had closed behind the brunette.

 

The y two brothers were now side by side, both looking at the closed glass door. One had a smug smile on their face, the other, however, seemed very lost into his thoughts. Trying to get Newt’s attention, Theseus jabbed his elbow into his brother’s ribs, making him yelp suddenly, as he snapped out of his reverie. He hadn’t noticed that his eyes had remained locked on the glass panel above the door handle, as though he was expecting to see her appear outside again. Somehow, the room felt quiet and empty without her.

Newt turned his head towards his brother who was silently judging him. There was this sparkle inside of his blue eyes that made him suspicious about what was going on inside of that head of his.

Averting his eyes from Theseus’s keen stare, Newt picked out a visible scar on the top of his brother’s eyebrow that still looked nasty, despite the nurses meticulous care.

 

“Excuse me ?”

 

“How long will it take for you to have a serious conversation with the girl ?” Theseus elaborated.

 

Newton chuckled, before he realized that his brother was dead serious. His smile faded. Theseus’ features were severe and strict, and it reminded him of all those times in Hogwarts where he had caught him smuggling creatures inside the Castle. And just like old times, he looked away, head bowed down, thinking about what he had just said. Truth to be told, the wizard had considered it during the past few days. Whenever they had watched over his brother together, he had wanted to reach out to her. Newt had observed Tina, and caught her stealing glances at him. He had thought about it, and it didn’t seem unlikely that she was waiting for a sign from him, anything that would show her that he was ready to hear what she had to say.

However, while her unexpected arrival a few days ago had been a nice surprise, Newt felt he was not quite ready yet. His heart still ached from her words, and besides, nothing had changed ever since he had left New York that day. She couldn’t ask him to leave, only to chase him afterwards and ask him to stay.

No matter how much they had missed each other. After all, Tina had Achilles waiting for her. There was a life for her in New York, one without him in it.

 

“Theseus, you know — I can’t — do this.” the magizoologist stammered.

 

_ I can’t to this again. _

_ I had only just picked myself up after everything. _

_ I might not be able to next time. _

_ And seeing her here — it’s like someone constantly stabbed my heart reminding me of what I can’t have. _

_ I can’t do this. I’m not ready. _

 

“Why not ? She has been there everyday for you Newt. Not for me.  _ You _ .”

 

He remembered the shock upon seeing her storm into the hospital room, the way she had ran to the bed, thinking he was the one lying there. He remembered the relief that had spread on her beautiful face when she had seen him, alive and well, and the happy tears that had escaped her dark eyes. He could still feel the irresistible urge to run towards her, throw his arms around her and hold her tight. He had fought it with every ounce of his soul, convincing himself that the ‘needs’ outweigh the ‘wants’, and he didn’t need to hurt himself further. 

Newt was conflicted, Tina had made it clear she was happy without him.

But she came immediately — she had thought he had been the one hurt.

She had come for him. And what made his mind boggled was that Tina stayed to be  _ with _ him.

Although they did not exchange much beyond pleasantries, Tina stayed. Newt could not bring himself to admit it to his brother, but her presence alone had been enough to reassure him, to give him hope that somehow, everything would be fine.

The witch had made sure he rested, ate enough, always bringing supplies because she could tell when he was lying.

She had been there — he truly appreciated it, but why ? After everything they had been through ? They both knew that staying friends would only prolong the emotional pain so why bother ? 

 

“She has Achilles.” Newt reasoned, and the thought of it alone reminded him of memories best forgotten.

 

Theseus frowned, before shaking his head in annoyance. He was still looking a bit pale, but the frustration his brother made him a bit more energized. He rolled his blue eyes, before putting a heavy hand on his brother’s shoulder.

 

“And… Where is he exactly ?”

 

Newt blinked. Point taken. Where was Achilles Tolliver ? He had come to visit a few times, always when Tina was not around and Theseus was asleep, to enquire about their healths, always bringing with him flowers and chocolate for the wounded. He was still the nice fellow from New York, passionate about muggle literature, and always asked about Rachel the Hippogriff. However, there was something different in the way he talked, and moved. Achilles was much too polite for someone who always joked with him back in New York. He moved stiffly, his grin didn’t reach his eyes, and favoured being near the only exit of the room. When Newt finally noticed the signs after two visits, his first thoughts were about Achilles’s memories. Specifically, the ones that were erased away. What if he remembered ? What if he hated him ? Hated Tina ? He couldn’t imagine that happening and yet — 

Theseus was right. Whenever Tina came, she came on her own. No male American Auror trailing after her. What did it mean ? Had they fought ? A couple’s argument? Surely, the witch would have mentioned it, wouldn’t she ?

The magizoologist thought back to their conversations, mostly a handful of one-word replies from him. No, Tina hadn’t mention anything about a fight. He would have no answer to Theseus’s question, unless he approached Tina.

 

“Go. Talk to her.” His big brother encouraged him, pushing him towards the door weakly.

 

Newt sighed, reluctantly getting up. He pushed the door open slowly. What would he say to her ? Would he even manage to catch up with her ? The conversation with his brother felt like hours, but in reality less than five minutes had gone by. She couldn’t have gotten too far. He had to try. 

The lanky wizard sped through the hallways towards the exit, much to the nurses’ disapproval. His mop of hair alternated between flipping upwards and hiding half of his eyes, and he could feel sweat trailing down his back. He had to get to her — to thank her for everything.

He had to get to her because she had apologized — and he wanted to forgive her. 

Because no matter how much he fought, how much he resisted and pushed aside, he wanted her in his life.

He  _ needed  _ her _. _

Newt smiled, and picked up the pace, his steps clumsy but fast. Once outside the hospital he had caught sight of the back view of her slender body. The hours spent memorizing her form, back when they were still friends, had helped and it was an image that he would recognize in a heartbeat.

 

“Miss — Tina ?” He called after her, and she immediately stopped walking, startled that someone would call after her in London, where she was mostly unknown.

 

The brunette turned around, a bright yet confused smile appearing on her face once she recognized the caller, and Newt met her in the middle of the street. They were a couple of meters away from the department store that hid the existence of the magical hospital, and London was quiet. It was just the two of them alone, and the air smelled like fresh cut grass. Something seemed to burn in Porpentina Goldstein’s eyes — and the British wizard wondered if it was a representation of hope and anticipation or the way the rays from the setting sun reflected on her orbs ? She was close, way closer than they had ever been for the past months and Newt became conscious of how much he had missed it.

Her entire being emitted warmth and kindness. He had forgotten the fragrance of her perfume. Her soft dimples when she smiled. All those memories were rushing back into his mind like a tsunami of repressed feelings : it was overwhelming. It was everything.

For a moment, he even forgot why he was here, why he wanted to talk to her, swept away by her beautiful smile that reminded him of a happier time.

She cleared her throat, and he shook his head, letting go of that wonderful daydream of his.

 

“Tina — I wanted to thank you. For everything you did.” He added, his eyes quickly finding a nice spot on the ground to stare at. He could not stare into her salamander’s eyes. He knew he would completely lose his composure if he did. He was not ready to face her yet. Not here. Not now. “For being here. It — It means a lot” He stuttered and stopped, looking at his feet, somehow embarrassed.

 

If Newt had mustered up the courage to look at her, then he would have seen the way she bit her lip sagged from relief — for she hadn’t been sure of what he had wanted to tell her.

If he had looked at her right now, he would have been completely taken aback by the sorrow in her eyes, and the guilt on her face. And maybe, Newt would have put two and two together, based on his astute observations, and guessed where it was all coming from. Perhaps, he would understand that she was here to win him back — to win his trust back. If he would let her. That’s all she had ever wanted. All she was willing to fight for.

 

“You’re welcome Newt. You would have done the same, I know it.” Tina whispered, shifting uncomfortably. She was not prepared for this right now. “I didn’t want to leave you alone during this difficult time.”

 

He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, before remaining silent. They were many questions he wanted to ask her, questions that needed answers but none of them managed to cross his lips. The silence between them became awkward. Attempting to summon some courage, he eyed at the closed door of the deserted department store, trying to form actual sentences in his mind before saying them. Thinking they were done, the witch wished him good night, turning around to walk to a safe zone to disapparate.

Newt’s head snapped back then just in time to see her turn away, and he finally blurted out.

 

“How would you — How would you feel about coming over to have dinner ? — Theseus will still be around but —” Newt stopped, wide eyed.

 

This wasn’t exactly what he had had in mind.

But Tina smiled and let out a soft chuckle.

On second thought, this  _ was _ what he had in mind. His heart stopped, her laughter like music to his ears.

It felt just like old times.

Happier times.

It felt good.

 

“I’d like that. Very much.”

 


	14. The girl whose picture they carried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celebrating Theseus' release from the hospital after his serious injury, the Scamander brothers run into Achilles Tolliver, drinking alone in a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Newtina shippers !
> 
> Another saturday, another chapter -- which I hope you will like !  
> I hope you will enjoy this one focusing on brotherly relationships ! Theseus/Newt, Newt/Achilles :')  
> We are getting awfully close to the core of this story, just a few more chapters ! I cannot wait to share them with you !
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your amazing comments, your reactions really are the best and they make my day so much brighter, especially during those times of exams ! You make it all worthwhile !
> 
> Thanks to my amazing beta @Nakahisa for her patience and her marvelous corrections ! She makes my chapters 100 times better <3
> 
> Anyway, enough, and I wish you now a happy reading ! I will see you next week for a very important chapter hehehe :D

_Theseus rarely looked so excited_ , Newt thought as they walked side by side, _but it was_ _probably_ _because he hated be_ _ing_ _sick and locked inside._ Newly released from the hospital, he was wearing his most charming smile, extremely grateful to be alive and well after everything that had happened and had insisted for them to walk a bit. It wasn’t something they were used to do ing together, so the youngest had accepted, happy about this new relationship they were building. _We_ _both needed some air and a nice conversation_ , he had decided, and of course, their silent walk had lead them to the most famous wizarding place in London.

Diagon Alley was, as always, crowded with young witches and wizards running from shops to shops, hands full of books or clothes. Newt hadn’t set foot in there for so long, preoccupied by other matters, and he had forgotten how colorful it was. It seemed like a place where everybody could just be happy — be themselves.

When they were younger, their parents would take them to Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor where they would share this moment, all together, to celebrate the end of the school year. They always bought the same flavor : Raspberry and Chocolate. It was their favorite at the time, and maybe the only thing they had in common. Oh, how he missed those simpler times ! They would play on the streets while their mother bought them clothes and their father books. However, today, Theseus didn’t want to have an ice cream nor remain on the street. He wanted a drink — which wasn’t a surprise, knowing what the man had gone through for the past few days.

Newt had reluctantly agreed, reasoning that they both deserved this moment of time out. The pair had made their way towards the most famous wizarding bar in the world, though its front didn’t appear appealing at all. The old black facade looked as if it was about to collapse, and the sign that indicated the name of the premises was rusted. Newt barely even came here anymore : he had never been fond of alcohol anyway, and preferred spending his free time with nature, walking down Hyde Park whenever he went out. Besides, apart from his brother, he didn’t exactly have any friends to share a drink with in the city, so there was no reason for him to be here at all.

 

“Are you sure you want to spend your first night out at The Leaky Cauldron?” Newt asked.

 

It wasn’t exactly the plan he had in mind for his brother’s return to the outside world. He had thought about making dinner for the both of them before showing the Auror his way to the guest room. His brother needed to rest, even though he was a lot better than before. There was some color back on his cheeks, and he could stand and walk without being on the verge of fainting. Theseus had been hit by a curse after all, and even though he had recovered, there would always be a mark left behind from that attack which had almost costed him his life.

However, Theseus seemed to have something else in mind : he wanted to celebrate the fact that he was alive. Newt had wondered if it had something to do with Leta’s death, and the fact that the both of them had realized that day, how their existence could change radically in a matter of seconds. How life was so fragile and needed to be cherished. How every single moment had to be appreciated, how they had to tell those of importance how much they loved them because for all they knew, they might not be around tomorrow. It had been a painful, yet important reminder in their lives and Newt had refused to let Theseus - fresh out of the hospital - be alone, so here they were, making their way into the grim looking bar, ready to toast to the Auror’s release from what he called hell.

The brothers immediately spotted an empty table near the entrance and sat there, knowing well what they wanted to order, but checking the menu anyway. Newt was wondering whether he wanted an actual alcoholic drink when his thoughts were interrupted by sounds of his brother clearing his throat. He looked up at Theseus and noted the smug smile on his brother’s face.

 

“So you’ve asked her to dinner ? When ?” Theseus said, resting his chin on the back of his hand, leaning in to tease him a little.

 

Newt rolled his eyes in mock annoyance at such a childish behavior. Of course, his brother would want to talk about Tina. It was his favorite subject these days. It was not new, though, for Theseus had always been this way, teasing him about his relationships. Even at Hogwarts, whenever he talked to a girl of his age, he would be questioned in the following hours, much like a suspect. Thinking about it, the elder brother certainly had been born to be an Auror. However something was different this time, Newt mused, and his questions were genuinely interested. The oldest seemed to really care about his thoughts and feelings. Maybe it was because it was the first time that Newt had told his brother that he was in love ? Never had he confessed something quite like it. Of course, he couldn’t have told him how much Leta had represented to him. She had been, after all, Theseus’ fiancée. But with Tina — it seemed different. It was different.

 

“Tomorrow night —” The magizoologist shyly answered, hiding his blush behind the menu, avoiding his brother’s eyes.

 

Right after the words left his lips, did Newt knew he should not have said that. Considering himself more experienced in the fine art of dating women, Theseus was now joyfully giving him an advice on how to plan a perfect date. He told him how to dress - _Casual, Newt — keep it casual unless you go out_ , how to be a perfect gentleman — _You do realize Thes’ that we have been raised by the same parents?_

The Auror went on and on on simple rules, telling him that he should ask for permission before kissing her, especially since the woman he had fallen for seemed very powerful — and Newt smiled, remembering the sight of his disheveled brother rolling into an empty office in the French Ministry of Magic, tied to a chair. While he paid enough attention to acknowledge his brother at the right times, Newt was actually relieved and grateful to hear these advices from his brother’s mouth : he had never been so nervous before. Of course, it wasn’t really a date, like what Theseus was preparing him for. It was merely a dinner organized for Tina and himself to talk things through. There was hardly any need to dress to impress or behave specially for the occasion. It wasn’t a date — was it ? It was always hard to tell whenever it concerned Porpentina Goldstein. Did she imagine it would be ?

He didn’t know what to prepare for her, what she would like. Didn’t know if he should take her out or have a casual moment in his own apartment. There were so many things he hadn’t thought of before blurting out the invitation, and he regretted it now. He should have thought about it more.

Newt sighed. His thoughts were once again disrupted by his brother’s voice, suddenly higher.

 

“Wait — Isn’t that Achilles Tolliver ?”

 

The youngest nodded absentmindedly, before making sense of what his brother had just asked. Newt Scamander turned his head towards the counter where he spotted the familiar broad shoulders of his Auror friend. His heart sank into his stomach. Curly blond hair, muscular : yes, there was no mistaking it. It was indeed the one and only Achilles Tolliver he had tried to hate back in New York — only to become good friends with him, to everyone’s surprise. Newt sighed. If Achilles was here, then Tina would be too. That’s what couples do right? Go out together. But there was something strange in the way the American Auror sat with his elbow on the bar, shoulders slumped, all alone in this place he had never been in, something sad about the sight of the few empty glasses lined in front of him. Newt was concerned. Where was Tina ? Why wasn’t she with him when he appeared so despondent ?

Compiling both his and his brother’s orders, Newt made his way to the bar, leaving the oldest to hold the fort at the table. Theseus had spotted some of his friends from the ministry anyway, and would likely be busy for quite some time talking about whatever he had missed when he was stuck in his bed.

Newt found his way to an empty stool next to Achilles, and ordered a firewhiskey for Theseus and a butterbeer for himself. The drinks were served almost immediately, and Newt turned his head towards his friend who didn’t seem to have noticed his presence yet, too fascinated, perhaps, by the amber liquid inside of his pint glass, drinking it in one go.

The blond had weary features and dark circles under his eyes : it also looked like he hadn’t shaved himself for a while now, but he still look incredibly clean and charming. He wore a simple white shirt tucked into his formal black pants and his coat laid forgotten at his feet. He was alone, eying the end of the pint of beer he just had, almost saddened by the fact that it was now empty. He didn’t look drunk, not even tipsy : only heartbroken. Like he hadn’t slept in days. And Newt Scamander wondered if he had looked like that for the past six months : like Achilles, right now, who seemed to be an empty shell of a man.

 

“You don’t look well, Archie.” He said, above the loud chatter of the witches and wizards in the pub.

 

The blond smirked, and turned his head towards him. There was such kindness in his eyes and so much pain. But he did seem a little pleased to see Newt in this crowded bar, judging by the upturned lips and relieved sigh he let out. For Newt, the feeling was mutual. To fill the silence that hung between them, the British wizard brought his drink to his mouth and savored the delicate taste of butterbeer. It left a nice trail of foam on his upper lip that he quickly wiped away with the back of his hand.

Achilles Tolliver chuckled before ordering another drink for himself, and followed his lead with a smirk. They drank together, quietly, gazing at the many people that had invaded the pub. Pointy hats, long robes of many colors danced in front of their eyes in a divine waltz. Newt placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, trying to comfort him, and Archie smiled back. The smile on his face melted off as he became serious and for a minute, he seemed lost in the yellow liquid in front of his eyes.

 

“I remember, Newt.” He stated.

 

The British wizard froze on the spot, immediately averting his eyes from his friend. There was no anger in his voice, no reproach. Only hurt and sadness. It wasn’t like last time — he wasn’t disappointed in the magizoologist, which should make their next conversation easier to bear.

Yet, Newt Scamander shifted uncomfortably on his stool, focusing on a stain of alcohol on the counter. How was this possible? How could he remember, after all the precautions he had taken for it never to happen ?

He had been studying the Swooping Evil’s venom for long enough now to know that it had worked, for as long as nothing triggered the memories back. Like Jacob’s memories came back when he had seen Queenie. Newt had made certain not to bring up anything to do with that dreadful night - in fact he kept largely to himself when Achilles dropped by for a visit - so what did Achilles mean? Did something happen between Tina and Achilles that stimulated his memories ?

 

“If — If you do remember then — Please know that it was never my intention to try to whisk her away from you. I would have never done that.”

 

He tried to clarify the situation because they were friends. He would never have done that to anyone, and especially not to him. Achilles had to understand that, and had to be aware that it had never been his intention to bring any kind of competition between them. Newt had never wanted to start or participate in a contest where Porpentina Goldstein was the trophy. He had given up before the battle had started.

Newt had maintained eye contact with the american wizard during his explanation, desperate to convey the truth to his friend. Achilles shook his head, before taking another sip.

 

“I know — Scamander —” He began, but he was interrupted by the anxious magizoologist.

 

“I just had to make sure that she was in good hands. And you are a great guy, Archie. One of the greatest I’ve ever met.”

 

Left unsaid was how much Newt thought Achilles deserved Tina. More so than himself, because that was the truth. To his knowledge, Achilles had never done anything to hurt the brunette — but he had. Not on purpose, of course, but still...

Newt wanted the blond to know know what a hero he was. They were both Aurors. He fought alongside her everyday, protecting her the way he had done so many times — something the british wizard knew he could never do. He had never been trained to do that.

He wished he could say what a kind husband he would make — maybe even one day become the perfect father. But words wouldn’t leave his throat.

He truly meant those thoughts, even if they were too hard to voice out. Newt believed that saying things aloud made everything true, and somehow, a small part of him still wanted to believe that he, Newt Scamander - the first one to know Tina Goldstein - stood a chance.

Deep down he knew — he knew that if Tina decided to marry this man seated next to him then — he would be fine with it. He would celebrate their joyous occasion and move on. _Eventually_. Achilles Tolliver would take care of her and give her everything she deserved. That much he knew.

The Auror pushed a small glass in front of his eyes. During his little reflection, Achilles had gone ahead and ordered two shots of giggle water for them, passing one to Newt, who wasn’t so keen on strong alcohols, but had accepted anyway. They cheered silently before emptying the content of their glasses and putting them loudly on the sticky bar. They both winced when they felt the hot liquid going through their throat.

 

“I’m flattered, Scamander that you might think so highly of me —  But I’m not you.” Tolliver said sadly.

 

“What do you mean ?”

 

The blond took a deep breath, running a trembling hand into his hair. He seemed to be fighting hard against something, and Newt found himself putting his hand on his friend’s strong shoulders, knowing that whatever would come out of his mouth would be difficult for him to admit.

What did he mean by “I’m not you” ? None of this made any sense to him — or perhaps too much. Maybe he was starting to imagine things — things he shouldn’t even think about for it would break his heart at the end of the journey.

 

“I was planning on asking her to marry me. I was.” Achilles confessed. “You wouldn’t know this Newt, but things had been difficult between us since you left and — well I thought it would make her happy. And then, there was the news about the attack and next thing I know, we were here.” Achilles chuckled bitterly. “And you were well.”

 

A tear fell into the counter and they both stared at it as it reverberated the dim lights of the Leaky Cauldron. Achilles was fidgeting with what seemed like a jewelry box. Newt could only guess that it contained the engagement ring he had meant to give her.

However, he hadn’t seen any ring on her finger. Had she refused his proposal ? Had he chickened out at the last moment ?

From the hurt in those glassy blue eyes, he could only guess that she had gently turned him down. Why would she, when she claimed to be happy in his arms ?

 

“You revived the fire in her eyes — Scamander. I’ve never managed to do that.” The American told him, lips pressed into a thin line while staring straight at Newt.

 

And with that last confession, Achilles Tolliver took Newt’s hand, flipped it around palm facing up, and shoved something in it, much to the latter’s surprise at the sudden contact. It felt like a paper, only thicker, the sort of sheet you could find in —  He didn’t dare look at it for a few seconds, and then his eyes dropped down to his hand, only to meet Porpentina Goldstein’s gaze.

It was a ripped picture that had been taken about a year ago, when he was stuck in London, when Tina hadn’t answered his letters, when she had thought he was engaged. It seemed to be spring, or maybe even summer for she was wearing a long skirt and a beautiful blouse with a large hat on her head to protect herself from the sun. Tina was grinning, so happy. Happier than she had been lately.

It was a photograph, much like the one he used to have in his office before ripping it and throwing it away in a desperate attempt to contain his sadness. In hopes to get over her. It hadn’t worked. And now the man she was supposedly seeing, the man who had found the newspaper clipping in Newt’s breast pocket was giving him a picture of the woman they were both madly in love with.

Frowning, Newt stared at the teary eyed man facing him, not understanding what was going on. Hadn’t it all started because of a portrait ? Why was Achilles giving him another one?

 

“I’m not you. I’ll never be you. That’s why she will never love me.” Achilles said, before downing the rest of his pint in one go. He stood, gathered his coat, slammed some money into the counter and turned one last time towards his friend. “Take good care of her, will you?”

 

And Newt nodded, not knowing what to do, nor what to say. This was not what he had expected. In the mental list of scenarios, it all ended with _him_ being heartbroken, not Achilles. He didn’t have the chance to react, for when he recovered enough to string a coherent sentence together, the auror was already gone, vanished into the crowd and lost forever. The British wizard wondered if it would be the last time they met.

He sincerely hoped not.

Achilles Tolliver was a nice fellow. Newt liked him very much, and he was aware that he didn’t like most people.

The younger brother returned to his table with the drinks, and sat silently as Theseus laughed with his colleagues, oblivious to what just happened. The magizoologist stared at the butterbeer, eyes tracing the way the bubbles burst their ways to the surface.

His eyes settled then on the photograph he had been given, honing in on the smile radiating on her pretty face.

The part of him that wished he still stood a chance rejoiced. Tina had refused to marry Achilles, and from the looks of it, have chosen to go their separate ways. He was sure of it now.

 


	15. Are you happy ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and Tina finally get to talk over dinner, and sort things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends ! 
> 
> I hope you had an amazing week, that you are well and ready for another chapter ! We are slowly getting to the end of this story and I am both excited and sad about it haha :')  
> Anyway, this is it. This is the beginning of what we have all been waiting for. This is the talk ! I'm so happy to share this with you because I have almost written this fanfiction for this alone :') I hope you will enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you have thought of it.
> 
> As always, I wanna thank @Nakahisa for her amazing corrections and inputs that made this chapter so much better ! She truly is amazing ! 
> 
> Have a good read and I will see you next week for Chapter 16 !

_ There is nothing more endearing than seeing Porpentina Goldstein working _ , Newt Scamander thought once more as he watched her from the other side of the enclosure. The witch had opened the Niffler’s cage and was now giggling as her entire body was assaulted by Benjamin and the three babies. One of them was tangled in her hair, trying to get on the top of her head, the other was emerging from the breast pocket of her linen jacket, and the last one had found refuge in the crook of her neck. Benjamin however, was cheerfully resting in both of her hands, staring at her in amazement. The sight of them — two of the most important elements of his life reunited both warmed his heart and broke it. There was something so innocent in Tina’s smile, and the wonder, the joy he could see in her eyes, those were emotions that could not be faked. It was raw, sheer bliss painted all over her magnificent face. Her movements were calm and graceful, and she suddenly settled down on the ground to play with the babies who climbed her body effortlessly, tickling her. One of them tried to reach for the necklace she was always wearing, but understood from her change in expression that he’d better not. As she sat there, cross-legged, Newt admired how the colors of her clothes suited her, how her pink shirt matched the black of her fitted trousers. Tina had gathered her locks into a tight ponytail but some strands had escaped and framed her beautiful features.

His heart missed a beat, and he focused back on his task, trying to fight off the biggest grin threatening to take over his face.

They had missed her. They had all missed her, he could tell. Pickett had addressed this fact to him multiple times, and the others — well they were reluctant to let Bunty take care of them. They tolerated her but she was not who they looked forward to. The creatures wanted Tina. From time to time, Newt would see their hopeful glances whenever he climbed down the stairs, looking past him only to become disappointed when they realized that he was alone. That their favourite female human wouldn’t be coming. In New York, they loved it when Tina helped the magizoologist around the case and they missed her presence. 

He had missed her too. The wizard had asked her, right after dinner, if she would like to come and help him around with his creatures. She had agreed, of course, eager to see the basement which she heard so much of. 

Dinner was lovely : being able to have a meal together and talk about their day felt like old times. Newt had prepared Shepherd's pie with his mother’s recipe. They discussed Theseus’ whereabouts and health condition, the recent attacks of both MACUSA and MOM, but none of them dared initiate  _ the _ talk. They were of course, both aware of the necessity of that conversation — but the timing always seemed wrong. When Newt had tried to mention it, he had tripped and knocked over the glass of wine he offered her. It spilled on her pink shirt and for a moment Newt didn’t dare to breathe, averting his eyes immediately and scrambled to find a cloth for Tina to dry her shirt with, all the while apologizing profusely. It took Tina’s soft laughter and repeated reassurances to break him out of his mental tirade against his clumsiness. Witnessing her scourgifying the stain away made him realize that he could have used his wand from the start. They both shared a laugh together, embarrassment and topic forgotten. Tina then tried to bring up the matter but that was when Benjamin once again decided to escape from his treasure trove. 

When she had followed him to the basement, after their quiet dinner, all of his beasts had began to fuss about, and Dougal had been the first one to run into her arms. They had found the rogue Niffler, and Tina asked if it was okay for her to lead them back to their respective spaces. 

Newt had witnessed the scene with a tearful smile. Feeling like she was being observed, the woman turned her head, catching his glance with a soft blush on her cheeks.

The magizoologist quickly brought his attention back to his Fire Crab and avoided the flames coming out of its bottom. They almost were done feeding the creatures — Newt had forgotten how quicker it was when they were two of them. It was beginning to be rather late, mooncalves were already asleep, and so was the Kelpie. Tina had settled the beasts back to their cages, promising to visit more often, before making her way to him, beaming.

Sitting in his office, she waited for him to make another round to check that everybody was where they were supposed to be.

When Newt came back, he saw her holding a white envelope in her hand. His heart stopped upon remembering what he had left on his desk.

 

“I see you never opened my letter.” She stated softly.

 

There was no reproach in her tone. She just stared at the white paper with sadness, playing with it before finally setting it back on the desk. He knew that she must have noticed it among the many papers spread on the office, and understood what had been going on. There was so much disappointment in her eyes as she continued staring at her own handwriting. What had she expected ? She had pushed him away. He knew now that she had never meant to, but what was done was done.

She had hurt him.

Newt sighed, leaning against the wall, next to his desk. It was true. He hadn’t opened it. Hadn’t the courage to. After all, he had decided to move on — or at least had wanted to. But deep down he knew that his feelings for her would forever be engraved into his heart. There was no moving on from a love like this, so pure, so selfless. So he had kept the letter for a rainy day, knowing that there would come a day when her absence would be unbearable. He kept her letter so that he could have one last chance to feel her, hear her voice in his head.

One last chance at happiness. 

 

“I kept writing to you, you know…” Newt whispered, unsure of why he felt the need to mention that. 

 

He didn’t get to witness the shock on her beautiful face for he had looked downwards while reaching for his wand, tucked into his pocket, with shaky hands.

This was it. It was the talk they had both tried to initiate a few times earlier, to address their feelings from that fateful evening that triggered an unbearable six months of forlornness. The emotions running through them; during the dance at the bar, during their fight and even just now at dinner. It was time for them to lay their heart open. It was time for them to be truthful. No hiding. No lying. It was now or never.

The wizard effortlessly flicked his wrist, and the third drawer sprung open, freeing birdlike papers. They were fast, but words could be distinguished in the cloud : “Dear Tina”, “I miss you”, “I will never forget you”, “Please, just be happy”. The contents from months of unsent letters flowed free and Tina watched them, startled, as they flew across the basement like a herd, some of them even swooping in front of her eyes. She didn’t try to catch them, but stared, dumbfounded, her mouth open in amazement. It was like a dream, felt like one : it was real. All of this was. They were about a hundred birds in the room, soaring around them in a colorful waltz and Newt opened the door leading to his apartment, where he knew the window would be open to finally set them free. They both watched the flock of birds fly away from them, all of his letters and thoughts escaping far away from them.

_ This is how much I have missed you _ , the wizard thought, when the last bird had gone at last.

And something broke inside of Porpentina Goldstein’s heart. He could see it in the way she let a shaky breath escape her beautiful trembling lips, soft as it was but he had heard it nonetheless. It was something she did whenever she was overwhelmed, he had gathered over time, and he knew that seeing this had touched her soul. She seemed lost, opening her eyes to say something and then closing it again. Her words had left with his letters.

Tina glanced at the envelope once more before taking a long breath.

 

“I wrote this … to tell you how sorry I was — How sorry I am. I didn’t want you to think that I hated you, because I never did, Newt. I...I could never.” Her voice was breaking at the end of her sentences, and she did her best to avoid looking at him, which was a relief for Newt. There was so much emotional tension between them, he wasn’t sure he could handle it. “I was confused and I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid to lose everything, I didn’t want to hurt anyone…  And now look at me.” The brunette huffed,  throwing her hands in the air in frustration and then letting them hang limply by her side , a defeated expression on her face.

 

And look at her, he did. Newt raised his eyes to meet hers.

And all he saw was the guilt in her eyes, and how regretful she was. Newt could see it in the way her shoulders were slumped, disheartened. 

He knew her, he could see how hard she was trying to hold back her tears, biting her lips until she drew blood. The brunette was fidgeting with the letter she had once again, taken from the desk, bending the paper between her graceful fingers. She was looking down, hoping that something would dry her watery eyes — hoping that he wouldn’t see. Oh, he had witnessed her sadness before, but nothing quite like this. This time, he was the reason for the tears threatening to escape her lashes.

In that moment, all of Newt’s senses were focused on the sight of the woman he had been in love with for the past few years. He saw only Porpentina Goldstein, the strongest Auror he had ever met, the fiercest yet most sensitive woman he had come across. He only saw Porpentina Goldstein, beautiful, kind and passionate. He saw her for who she was : a complex riddle of feelings he couldn’t wait to solve.

 

“I lost everything. I lost you.” She whispered, tears trailing down her cheeks as a sob broke into the stillness of the room. 

 

It was like a stab in his chest. Her quavering tone, the despair in that whimper… it was too much for him to take in. Newt fell on his knees right in front of her, as if feeling the weight of  her sorrow. She had hidden her face in her hands, and her shoulders jerked every now and then in silence. Grasping at whatever courage he had left, the wizard shakily took her hands between his, resting them on her thighs. His fingers rubbed gentle circles on the back of her hand, hoping to soothe her, just like he did to his creatures whenever they had trouble sleeping.

He had to do something. Newt Scamander couldn’t bear knowing that he was the one who caused those tears to fall. Her fleeting glance settled on his face, and their eyes met in silence.

 

“You didn’t lose me.” He earnestly answered. “I’m here, am I not ?”

 

Porpentina smiled weakly, and a small chuckle escaped from her swollen lips. Oh, how he loved to make her laugh. If he could, he would forever erase her sadness so that all he would ever see would be that beaming smile. Newt felt like his heart was trembling from the amount of anxiety inside of him. Sure, he was here now, with her. But would she ask him to leave again ? As if she had heard his raging thoughts, Tina held his hand tighter before closing her eyes, setting free a flood of salty pearls that soaked her pink shirt.

 

“I’m so sorry. For everything I did.” She had laced their fingers together now, and he shivered at the touch. “You sacrificed so much for me, and all I have done is break your heart. But I promise you — I will make it right.”

 

And she repeated her last sentence weakly, more for herself than for him, before dabbing her eyes with a tissue he had given her promptly. Yes, it was true. He had made sacrifices for her before, as he would do all over again if she ever asked him. He would do anything just to see her smile.

Newt was a giver. He didn’t care about any of it as long as it allowed her to have to life he felt she deserved. And he wanted to let her know that, even though he had told her before.

The magizoologist opened his mouth, but didn’t have time to say anything, for the woman in front of him continued her apologetic rambling. It was both charming and moving. It was Tina.

 

“Achilles —  I don’t love him. I don’t think I ever did. Maybe I liked him, but not the way I —” She stopped, her mouth open and eyes wide, aware of the words she had almost voiced. The witch cleared her throat, chasing her awkwardness away. “So I ended it. I couldn’t keep lying to myself — to him.”

 

He held his breath upon realizing which words had almost crossed her lips. What would have happened if she had said them ? Somehow, he suspected that his heart would have burst from euphoria. But maybe it was better this way. They had to take this step by step if they didn’t want to burn bridges. Newt sighed, shaking his head. He was trying really hard not to feel overjoyed by her declaration. Of course, he already knew that the two Aurors had broken up : Achilles had told him the night before at the Leaky Cauldron. But hearing it from her was a completely different thing : it was like a confirmation for him. She, after all, had been the one to initiate the separation. A part of him was confident of knowing the reason why she had done it. However another part of him wasn’t ready to admit it to himself, scared to sink into wishful thinking. Tina would have to voice it for him to believe her words.

She let go of his hands as she got up from his office’s chair. He stared, surprised and confused. Then, Porpentina Goldstein crouched down in front of him, dropping on her knees as well on the bare ground of his basement.

They were now facing each others directly, and there was no way to escape. They both knew that. They were too far into their confessions to back down now. Besides, Tina didn’t seem to be done yet.

More serious than ever, she stared at him, biting her lower lip anxiously.

 

“You once asked me if — You once asked me if I was happy.”

 

“And you told me you were.” He finished for her.

 

She smirked bitterly. The still-fresh memory was hurtful for the both of them obviously.

He could only imagine how she had regretted her words.  _ I don’t need you  _ still echoed inside of his head, causing his heart to lurch. Tina hadn’t meant any of that. He knew that now. Now that she had crossed the ocean to see him when she thought he had been injured. Now that she had ended her relationship with a man she thought she loved.

She hadn’t meant any of that. She hadn’t meant to push him away. Newt was well-aware of how difficult it was for the brunette to accept help : she needed to pave her own way and he respected that. He admired her need to prove herself. It was the reason why she had hurt him that night by pushing him away : she had needed to be alone, to think everything through.  _ If only she had voiced it that way _ , he thought.

Communication was not their forte, and their attempts to show tenderness and consideration often ended in a very unfortunate misunderstanding.

 

“I thought I was —  I wanted to be — and then I realized that —”

 

Tina stopped and took a deep breath. Both their hearts were pounding in their chests, as if trying be reunited at last. Newt waited, patiently. He knew he could wait an entire lifetime to hear those words in her mouth. The words she obviously had trouble voicing. 

_ Are you happy ? — I am. _ She had said that day.

And they both knew it wasn’t true.

But what he needed was to hear the words from Tina herself, whether those words that night had been a mistake. Only then, can he truly believe it.

Her gaze dropped to her own hands on her thighs.

 

“I am only happy when I am with you.”

 

It was more than a confession. It was everything. And they both knew it.

Newton Artemis Fido Scamander felt a horde of butterflies flutter away inside of his stomach, gliding to mend his broken heart. A wave of sheer relief and exhilaration invaded his entire being, and for a moment there, he wondered whether she had seen the sincere smile that had spread on his chapped lips. It was all he had ever wanted to hear, and even more.

And this time, Tina smiled softly, raising a hand to tuck away a strand of tousled hair from her face to get lost in his eyes, and Newt stopped moving, surprised and curious. He held her gaze willingly, admiring her dark orbs, her lashes, her brows - her everything - desperately trying to catch up on all the time they had wasted, being so far apart for so long.  Despite their friendship and budding love for each other back then, neither had been in such close proximity before. Not even during the dance, where they were a arm’s length. They were both on the cold hard ground, mere inches from each other, knees almost touching. The same hand Tina raised was now on his cheek, and he could feel the lingering touch on his face. Her fingers traced the outline of his cheekbones, before moving to his nose, his mouth. Her touch was warm and soft, and it felt like a feather trailing down his features. He let her, staring at her every movement, relaxing a little. There was such awe in her eyes, and it was like navigating into a starlight night : her orbs shimmered with tears and so much more. There was hope, and wonder, temptation and hesitation. Newt wondered if she saw in his own greenish eyes the same sight he had in front of him : a storm of feelings that made her even more beautiful.

He could sense her move closer and closer, until he could feel her breath on his lips whenever she exhaled. Her body exuded warmth, and all he wanted to do was sweep her and bring them even nearer. And he knew that it was now or never.

Newt Scamander hadn’t kissed many woman in his life. Apart from Leta, when he was younger, he had never initiated such an intimate contact. He had forgotten how stressful it could be, during that minute of silence, of want, or hesitation. He found himself wondering whether she actually wanted this or not. What if he had somehow misread the signs ? After all, he knew he was not the best at understanding social behaviours.

But she smiled, and he felt it. He felt the final pull he needed. Tina closed her eyes, and so did he.

He was about to close the gap between them when they both heard the door open, and steps coming their way. Jerking away from each other, both crimson, they didn’t utter a word. The brunette climbed back into her chair and acted like she was absorbed in his notes. The British wizard immediately got up, went the other way, ruffling his hair, and ran to get the bucket he had forgotten by the Graphorns enclosure.

They avoided each other’s glance awkwardly. 

A few seconds after that, Theseus Scamander entered the room and noticed a strange tensed silence between them. Worried that they had actually argued instead of making up, Theseus debated over who to approach first, and that was when he noticed the pink on both of their cheeks. Only then, did it register to him what might have possibly happened, and he hastily apologized for disturbing them. It was past midnight and he hadn’t imagined that Tina would still be here. Earlier on the Auror had decided to make himself busy by offering to clear his brother’s apartment for the night, leaving the two of them to talk alone. They didn’t need a chaperone. Theseus had thought midnight would be a safe time to venture out and find his brother, but was now feeling guilty, clearly aware that he should have gone straight to bed instead of choosing this moment to enter the basement.

The American Auror took advantage of this disruption to declare that she needed to go back to her hotel. Newt wanted to offer to accompany her, but the words never managed to escape from his mouth. His cheeks were still burning, his heart happily leaping inside of his chest.

 

“Are you sure ? Can’t you stay with us ? We have many rooms !” Theseus tried to convince her, in vain, feeling incredibly guilty.

 

“Thank you… But I need to pack my belongings.”

 

That’s when the cold, hard reality hit Newt.

Tina was leaving London in a few hours.

 


	16. The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both awake, unable to sleep, Newt and Tina find themselves at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there friends !
> 
> Thank you so much for all your reactions ! Chapter 15 was incredibly dear to my heart, and your comments, your fanarts, your messages warmed my heart so much. Thank you for everything ! Thank you for your support, and your enthusiasm !
> 
> Now, today's matters : In this chapter, you will find cuteness and frustration, and two lovers that don't seem to have anything easily. Don't fret thought. Everything will be alright soon enough, I promise <3
> 
> I wanna thank my beta @Nakahisa who despite her heavy week managed to correct this chapter as thoroughly as ever, making it 10 times better <3  
> I also want to thank my friend, Alice, who gave me this idea in the middle of the night, when we were in London. She is a source of inspiration, that girl <3
> 
> I will now leave you to your reading, friends ! Let me know what you thought of this chapter, and I will see you for Chapter 17 that will most probably make you smile <3

Porpentina Goldstein stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep and huffed in annoyance. At the moment, she was regretting not packing Sleeping Draught into her case : it would have been much appreciated and needed. Well — In her defense, she hadn’t exactly thought about what she had put inside : she had been far too impatient to get to Newt. Now that Tina had time to put some thought into it, it had been, perhaps, the most reckless decision she had ever made, a decision that also led to the greatest moment of her life. She blushed profusely, sliding further into the white sheets of her slightly uncomfortable bed, trying to hide her smile.

She yawned, and sighed. The brunette was mentally and physically exhausted but her brain wouldn’t have it : for the past few hours, she had been reliving _that_ moment in her head, replaying his every movement, every word, wondering what would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted and almost caught, imagining how his lips tasted like… _No Tina, you shouldn't be thinking about that !_

They had almost kissed, and it had made her so _goddamn_ happy she could have literally leapt for joy. Her cheeks still felt warm, and she mentally slapped herself for behaving like a schoolgirl whose crush just waved at them. But they had almost kissed : and she couldn’t help but think about how close their lips had been, inches from each other, ready to touch, ready to seal their affection. If Theseus hadn’t entered the room — She closed her eyes, savoring the divine dreams that were filling her tired mind. If Theseus hadn’t entered the room, she would have closed the distance between the two of them, and pulled him into a long searing kiss. It would have been chaste. It would have been everything. But it didn’t happen.

With an annoyed huff, Tina Goldstein pushed the covers and got up, only to stare outside the window, at London before sunrise. The night sky was clearer now, and the stars had disappeared. It was five in the morning, and Tina would be leaving in seven hours : a portkey had been arranged for Achilles and herself so that they could return to work promptly after their little trip. The American Auror was sleeping next door, but she hadn’t seen him much since — well that day. She was hoping this incident wouldn’t ruin their friendship, nor their working relationship. They were not meant for each other, but on the field, they were quite the formidable pair. Tina would have to see for herself in seven hours. Her heart ached in her chest, and she took a deep breath.

In seven hours, she would be far away from _him_ again, not knowing when they would meet next. If they would ever meet again. With all these attacks, the world was becoming a dangerous place, and with them so far away from each other…

What if something happened and they never got the chance to see each other again ? No, this wouldn’t do. She couldn’t think that way. But the thought had now invaded her mind, and she couldn’t push it away. It was now or never. The brunette knew. She knew she had to do act on it.

And so, Porpentina Goldstein did something that was both incredibly romantic and foolish.

She magicked herself into her work clothes again, heart beating fast inside of her chest, and apparated out of her hotel room, hoping that he wasn’t asleep as well.

 

* * *

 

Newton Scamander hadn’t even tried to sleep that night : he already knew it was of no use to to insist on it since it would only end up in a catastrophe. Besides, he hated to be inactive while awake, so staying in bed, reliving the previous night would only frustrate him more. The need to do something led him to pace to and fro in the living room, his hand alternating between ruffling his hair and scratching his neck. The shuffling of his feet had somehow — woken Theseus sleeping in the guest room next door, and after reassuring his brother, Newt decided to head to the park nearby where he could pace down the tracks without bothering anyone. Pickett had hopped into his pocket, and out he went, savoring the sweetness of a spring night. It was about five in the morning, and the sun was stirring, through the darkness of the night.

It was about five in the morning and all he could do was think about Tina ever since she left for her hotel at slightly past midnight. They had been so close —

What if he had kissed her — what would have happened then ? _Damn Theseus and his horrible timing_ ! He smiled, staring at the horizon from his bench. If Theseus hadn’t entered the room, he would have closed the distance between Tina and himself, and pulled her into a soft, timid embrace. His mouth would have caressed hers and it would have been enough for now. It would have been chaste. It would have been everything. But it didn’t happen.

Newt shrugged, and heard chirping coming from his breast pocket, where his favorite companion was now looking at him angrily. _Here we go again_ , he though, knowing well what the beast wanted to tell him. Pickett had taken upon himself to become his relationship advisor for months, arguing whenever he refused to open her letter. The magizoologist freed his friend, now face to face with his creature that continued his ramblings. He let out a laugh.

“Are you crazy ? It’s the middle of the night. Surely she is asleep.”

But was she, though ? Would she be asleep after that rush of emotions ? Newt couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe she was in the same state that he was in, fantasizing about what would have happened — what they obviously both wanted to happen. And then he decided that his Bowtruckle wasn’t wrong after all. Too much time had passed already, time wasted for nothing. He worriedly glanced down as his watch, it was already past five, and she would be leaving in less than seven hours. He could not waste another minute now that he knew that his feelings were mutual. Not when he had already spent six months missing her. Dreaming about her. Loving her from afar. It was maybe his only chance to see her again, not knowing how long she’d be gone — his only chance to act upon the overwhelming affection he carried for her.

He had to do something, anything.

He had to go find her. No matter how late it was. He had to tell her.

Grasping his wand, Newt Scamander turned to Pickett, and smiled at him, silently thanking him for this advice he had finally decided to listen to before apparating into the night.

 

* * *

 

 

Porpentina Goldstein stood in front of Newton Scamander apartment, after successfully navigating to the right area on her own without any damage. The place was protected by a powerful protection spell so she had apparated to the park nearby Sherrinford Square in Kennington. It wasn’t much : only a few benches to sit and admire London blooming around, trees and flowers planted in the lawn. A few meters away, there was a swing for the children living in this neighborhood. At the moment, the square was empty, and very silent, but she could easily imagine it full of life. Appearing in front of Newt while looking flustered would likely make him panic too. Tina strolled slowly in the direction of her destination, the sound of her footfalls on the earthy racks of this little park permeating in the silence.

Tina heard a flapping sound coming from the ground, and realized she had almost stepped on a paper fledgling. A soft smile appeared on her lips as she had recognized the little fellow as one of Newt’s letters that had escaped through the window. It had been damaged, one of its wings was crumpled, which kept it from being with its comrades. Where they were, she didn’t know, but her heart couldn’t bear the sight of this wounded creature, even if it was a charmed piece of paper. She had taken it into her hands to mend it, when Newt’s writing appeared in front of her weary eyes. It only had one sentence written -   _Please, just be happy_ ” - and it made her heart tremble. The witch wondered what the other letters had contained, what he had tried to express to her during those longs months away. With a flick of her wrist, she had fixed the wing, setting it free but the bird had remained by her side, perched on her shoulder, almost as if it recognized her as the only person it belonged to. Tina sighed.

And here she was, in front of his door. Somehow even though she was lost in her thoughts, her feet had made their way here - as if walking to Newt’s place had become habitual. All the lights were out in the familiar apartment and her hand was shaking from nervousness. Was he asleep then? Would it be rude to knock and wake him up?. All the lights were out in the familiar apartment and her hand was shaking from nervousness. Would he be surprised to see her here ?  Would he even want to see her, after the awkwardness earlier on ? She had remembered his address : she had written it on so many envelopes before and had had the pleasure of being here a couple of hours prior. What if for some reason she didn’t know, he didn’t want her here ?

And then she remembered the kiss they had almost shared, and the earnest conversation between them. She remembered the hurt in his eyes and she knew : she had to tell him.

Porpentina Goldstein was about to knock when an owl flew above her head, dropping an envelope into her hands. She would have ignored it, if the package didn’t say that it was from MACUSA. It was marked urgent, and usually, it didn’t mean any good. Hands shaking, she opened the letter only to frown a couple of seconds later. And then, she tore the paper apart, heart pounding inside of her chest. At the same moment, the door in front of her flung open and a man emerged from the shadows of the apartment.

 

“Tina ?” He said, taken aback by her presence.

  


* * *

 

 

Newton Scamander had remembered the address of the hotel in Paddington she had mentioned earlier during their dinner, and was now standing near the reception desk.

The hall was empty, dimly-lit, and smelled like dampness but he imagined the place to be rather welcoming at day. From what he could see, the rooms were affordable, maybe not the most comfortable due to the fact that it was an ancient edifice ran by the same family of muggles for the past century, but suitable enough for a short period of stay. It was away from the Center of the City, in a quiet alley near a few pubs and convenience stores, but there wasn’t much to do around. He knew for a fact that Tina hadn’t had time to visit much of London anyway, for she had spent most of her time with him, by Theseus’ bed. It wasn’t how he had imagined her first travel to the wonderful city he lived in. He had imagined taking her to visit the most popular places, taken her to the Ice Cream Parlour in Diagon Alley… Not St Mungo’s. However the brunette hadn’t commented about that, in fact, she had seemed rather happy to be here, with him. He sighed, trembling.

It was still early morning, and the old caretaker was soundly asleep on his chair, his head buried on his neck, not daring to wake up despite his gentle calls. All Newt wanted to know was which room Tina Goldstein resided in. He didn’t have anything of hers to guide him, so he had to do it the old fashion way — if the man ever woke up. His polite “Sir, please” remained unnoticed, and so, daring to risk being caught, the wizard cast a spell which caused the register to show him the name he was so desperately looking for.

_Porpentina Goldstein : Room 26._

Newt Scamander leapt up the staircase — his steps hurried and as silent as they could be, and never in his life had he felt so bold. This wasn’t something he was used to :  most of the time, he was too shy, to scared to act upon his feelings. But this time, he wouldn’t let her slip through his fingers anymore. This was it. This was the moment they had been waiting for, ready to unravel in front of them.

He was now standing in front of the wooden door, fist in the air, ready to knock, when suddenly doubt crept into his soul and froze him into place. What would she think, if she saw him there, standing on her porch ?

He didn’t exactly have time to think about the answers to his ponderings for the door next to hers suddenly flung open, and someone got out, carrying two suitcases. The two of them took a step back, startled by each other’s presences.

 

“Newt ?”

 

* * *

 

Theseus Scamander stood in front of her, dressed and fully awake, holding a similar missive in his hand. Recovering from his surprise upon seeing her at his brother’s doorstep in the middle of the night, he slowly stepped towards her.

 

“Is that your letter from MACUSA?”

 

She nodded, dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe the message that had been delivered to her. And on top of it, she had to leave for MACUSA earlier than planned to report in.

Porpentina Goldstein was torn between hope and distress, between knowing that she would be gone to chase after the person she missed the most, and knowing she had to leave her greatest love behind, just when she had confessed her true emotions to him. If she left now, she wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Newt.

 

“I need to see Newt before I leave it’s urgent.” The brunette said, and she heard her own voice break.

 

She couldn’t leave. Not right now. Not when they were so close to achieving what they should have done so many years ago. Why did one of them always had to leave ? Why couldn’t they just stay together ? Sometimes, she just wished there wasn’t an ocean between them, she just wished they could visit anytime, even for a cup of tea. Of all the men she had met and spent time with, she had to fall for the one she couldn’t have by her side.

Tina bit her lips. But of all the men she had met and spent time with, she had fallen for the most incredible of them all.

Theseus seemed rather embarrassed, running a hand through his curly hair. His blue eyes avoided her, and for a brief moment, the witch finally noticed the resemblance between both brothers.. They had the same features whenever they were confused about something, and she found it rather endearing.

 

“Newt is not here… I don’t know where he went.”

 

She sighed, disappointed and hurt. There were so many things she had wanted to tell him, but once again, fate had decided to work against them. Once more, she would have to go home with a heavy heart full of everything she had meant to tell him, everything he deserved to know.

Tina didn’t have a choice now. This was her investigation. This was a new lead she needed to run after and it was her duty as an Auror to come back to MACUSA. It was, after all, the job she had fought to get, and to keep, the life she had always wanted. Was it now ? She wondered. Part of her couldn’t imagine living without these investigations, but the other was tired of coming home to nothing. This other part wanted love, love she was so close to reaching.

Tina shrugged. Now was not the time to dwell on those feelings. She had work to do.

 

“Allow me to come with you. I’m headed that way.” Theseus said upon seeing her heading towards the square.

 

They marched down together, without a word, nor a sound. Tina Goldstein put her hand on Theseus Scamander’s arm, and together, they disappeared into the night, ready to report back to the Ministry.

 

* * *

 

 

Achilles Tolliver was standing in front of him, with his case in one hand, and Tina’s in the other, dumbfounded. He looked slightly better than the last time they had met, less tired maybe. He was wearing his formal Auror suit yet, upon a closer examination, he seemed to have gotten dressed and travel-ready in a hurry. His hair wasn’t as impeccable as it used to be, and his blue eyes were still drowsy with sleep. It was quite a sight, two men standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at each other, trying to understand the situation. Achilles frowned, wondering why Newt was here, while Newt was struggling to fathom why the suitcases.

 

“Achilles — You’re leaving ?” Newt managed to voice, still attempting to figure out why his friend was awake and leaving at such an early time of the morning.

 

The American Auror nodded, before handing out a letter for the magizoologist to read. It was from MACUSA and it instructed both Tina and Achilles to come back immediately to New York, where their help was needed. It was signed by the president herself. The act was immediate, and a portkey had been arranged to take them both safely back home. Newt sadly handed back the letter to his friend.

 

“MACUSA’s orders. There something new on Queenie’s location, she tried to contact Jacob.” Achilles told him, whispering. It was, after all, still a secret, yet, he had decided that the british wizard had the right to know. They were friends, after all.

 

Newt stilled at the news. _Queenie_. There was a new lead on Queenie. After months of chasing her sister, after months of running in circles, trying to gather clues, the elusive blond witch had finally given a sign of life for Tina. He was relieved and also incredibly worried. How did the brunette take the news ? Surely, it must have shaken her. Why, after all this time, would Queenie resurface ? He couldn’t stop his mind from asking too many questions without answers, scared about the meaning of such information, especially after the many attacks the wizarding world had faced lately.

 

“But — Where is Tina ?” He managed to whisper.

 

_Where is Tina ?_ It seemed like he had been spending his life wondering where she was, where she was going. A lifetime spent chasing after her. Would they ever be able to settle down together, without having to constantly look out for each other? Would they ever be able to have a nice cup of tea without having to save the world ? He sighed. He remembered wishing for a life filled with adventure as a kid : now that he had someone to share his existence with, he sometimes wanted to settle somewhere, anywhere and leave it be.

Achilles shrugged, not understanding the urgency in his voice, nor the despair in his eyes.

 

“Probably already on her way.” He answered simply.

 

Achilles Tolliver began descending the stairs, both luggages in his hands, leaving Newt on the doorstep of Room 26. Before disappearing in down the stairway, he turned towards his British friend with a smirk.

 

“Come on, Scamander, are we going to the Ministry or what ?”

 

Newton Artemis Fido Scamander didn’t have to be told twice.

 


	17. Newt says goodbye to Tina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and Tina meet in the ministry to say goodbye once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends ! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your lovely comments on last chapter, I know it was really frustrating and I hope this one will help you deal with that <3
> 
> When I wrote this chapter, I smiled like an idiot, because after weeks of writing Newt and Tina pining for each others, it felt like a relief, like the climax of it all ! I hope you will enjoy, please let me know if you did <3
> 
> As always, thank you @Nakahisa, my beta, for all of your amazing edits and advice that make my story better than it originally was <3
> 
> Now, to the reading ! Enjoy and see you next week ;)

As soon as Porpentina Goldstein entered the British Ministry of Magic, the bird she had completely forgotten about had started to fidget on her shoulder, much to her surprise. First it made a loud chirping noise that woke up a house-elf resting at a corner of the hallway Next, it then begun to peep constantly, and the high pitched sound near her ear nearly made her go crazy. She had tried to shush it but it hadn’t worked, much to Theseus’ amusement. Then, the paper animal flapped its wings and took off, flying around her head, obviously trying to catch her attention — which it did. Tina huffed in annoyance, wondering why it was behaving so strangely, not understanding what it wanted. Surely, there was an explanation as to why it had suddenly reanimated in the middle of the hallway. In her attempts to catch it, Tina had chased it, and for a minute, the bird had disappeared at the turn of a corridor.

The last piece to remember Newt by was gone, and she resumed her sad walk alongside the brother of the man she loved, following him into the maze of passageways of the premises, unaware of where they were going. Theseus knew his way around and she found herself grateful that she was with him : otherwise, she would have probably gotten lost. Of course, it wasn’t her first time making her way past those aisles, but no matter how hard she tried, her mind couldn’t remember her way in and out of the place. It was, after all, so different from MACUSA. Back home, the Congress was built efficiently and minimalistically furnished. Here, everything seemed warmer : from the red carpet that decorated the ground to the many owls that were flying around at all times, dropping mail to every office. She shrugged, wondering how it was like to work here, if being an Auror in England was so different than in America.

She was about to ask Theseus about it when she heard the chirping again, and sighed. The bird was back, flying around her head with urgency. Suddenly, without any warning, it pulled a few strands of her hair. The brunette yelped in pain, but the creature wouldn’t stop tugging so Tina instinctively followed the direction the paper bird was trying to fly to, pulling her away from Theseus, while attempting to free her hair.

The British Auror clutched his sides as he doubled over in laughter loudly calling out that he would catch her later, that she should probably follow her winged-friend or put her wand to good use. Tina reluctantly picked the first option, and the bird - as if sensing her decision - let go of her hair. She had no idea where it was leading her, and how she would get back to the Portkey in the fifth level, where the Department of International Magical Cooperation was. Time was of essence here! The bird sped off, and Porpentina Goldstein ran after it. What choice did she have anyway ? Somehow, rushing down corridors and turns made her heavy heart lighter : it reminded her of her childhood. Whenever they would go to the department store with their parents, Queenie and herself enjoyed racing down the alleys of food and clothes more than anything else. It felt a little like old times, yet completely new. This contrast… It was the same feeling she had had when she ran to Newt’s room when she had thought that he was injured. Oh, she had been incredibly worried at that time, but then her worry turned to relief. That promise she made to make up to him, she wondered if it would end well. Now that she had to leave.

 

Suddenly the bird was out of her sight, and she stood in the middle of one deserted hallway, her heart racing after the distance she ran. Tina had no idea where she was, or what was the purpose of her presence here. Yet, something in her heart screamed for her to remain exactly where she was. That there was a reason for all of this.

She was right, of course. A few seconds later, she heard footsteps coming her way, and gasped as the bird reappeared, pulling by the bowtie, a very familiar man. A man who seemed just as lost as she was. The man she loved. She smiled.

 

“Newt.” She whispered.

 

The Magizoologist looked right at her, in awe, surprised to see her here, and Porpentina Goldstein was struck by the charm that emanated from his entire being. The twinkle in his eyes, the satisfied smirk plastered on his face, the way his tousled hair was falling on his forehead.

The way his features had brightened up at the sight of her.

It was him. It had always been him.

He was the person she had never expected to encounter, the man who had brought down all of her walls. He was her unpredictable kindred soul, the only person her heart had ever truly belonged to. She chuckled, lightly. He was here. They both were, and the paper bird that had reunited them was flying happily above them, chirping proudly.

They both stepped closer, a force seeming to pull them in. Two tentative steps, followed by another three. And they both ran towards each other, amazed to have found themselves in this labyrinth. They met in the middle, eyes on each other, unaware of their surroundings. It was just the two of them. It was just Newton and Porpentina. And it was enough.

Once again, they were only a few inches away, both beaming brighter than the sun. They were happy — even though the the sword of Damocles was hanging above their heads. They were happy — it was all that mattered now. They were both here. They had finally found each other.

 

“I went to your hotel —” He said, chuckling.

 

“I went to your apartment —” She giggled at the same time.

 

Shock spread on their features as they both realized that they had thought of the same idea. At one point, both had decided to take it upon themselves and cross half of the city in the middle of the night. That was why they weren’t able to catch each other at their respective places. Somehow, it wasn’t surprising. Fate seemed to be after them, trying to keep them apart. But they were stronger than that.

They laughed softly. Nothing much had changed, yet something felt different.

They were still Newt and Tina, always interrupting each other whenever they had something important to say. It was like their hearts beaten in harmony, like their minds were connected. The memory of their time at the French Ministry of Magic floated in front of them. They definitely had a thing for administrative places : first MACUSA, then Le Ministère des Affaires Magiques, and now MOM.

Newt’s hand was now caressing her cheek, just like those days at the docks, only this time, his hand slid down to rest at the curve of her back and Tina had taken an another step closer to him. She could feel his chest against hers, the frantic pulse of their hearts. His earthy scent had reached her nose, and for a minute then, she found herself overwhelmed by an intense emotion. Newt’s hands held her firmly, as if afraid to let her go. There, in this unknown territory, she felt safe in his arms. She felt _home_. That’s the moment she realized that she couldn’t go back to New York. That she didn’t want to. Why would she when everything she wanted was right there ? There was no Queenie waiting for her back home, and the only persons she would be saddened to lose would be both Jacob and Achilles.

Her right hand rested on his torso, right were his heart was pounding, and he looked at her with such tenderness. Tina relished the feel of his hand on hers, the warmth from his hand as he closed his fingers around hers.

Both of their eyes filled with sadness, they stared at each other, tears in their eyes, understanding that their newfound time together had to come to an end. Knowing that they were already on borrowed time and that somebody could burst in any minutes, and interrupt their moment.

 

“Is this going to be our life ? Perpetually chasing after one another —” He murmured.

 

“— And always missing each other.” She finished for him.

 

Newt Scamander opened his mouth, astonished by the way they kept on finishing each other’s sentences. Once again, they were brought back to the archive room, where he had expressed his affection in the most romantic yet clumsy way. He had the same expression on his face, only this time, he was even closer to her. Only this time, Tina wasn’t under the impression that he was engaged, and she wasn’t dating anyone now. This time, they were finally free to be together, even if it was for a short time.

Absolutely absorbed by the way his green eyes reflected the state of his mind, the unconditional affection she knew him to harbor, the regret, the fear, the witch didn’t notice how her hand, previously resting on his chest, had now moved to the back of his head, playing with his messy hair. Newt Scamander shivered under her touch, avoiding her eyes for a moment, before finally watching timidly her every movement. He was scared, and she knew it. He didn’t know what to do, she could feel it. The brunette was well aware that she might have to be the one to take the first step, this time.

Porpentina Goldstein bit her lips, hesitant, before moving her other hand as well, so that she was now cradling his neck. Locked in place, he had no other choice but to look at her. To see her. He smiled, staring at the brunette and she felt like the eighth wonder of his world. He smiled, and time stopped.

A few seconds passed between them, heavy. They were lost in each other, waiting for either one to dare do what they both wanted. What they had almost done the night before. A few more seconds went by, silent. Until she couldn’t bear the agony of waiting further.

And so she kissed him. She kissed him with her soul, caressing his soft lips and dropping the softest peck on them. It was the simplest act of tenderness, and her heart burst with joy inside of her chest. She had always wondered how his lips tasted like : like salt, it tasted like the many tears he had spilled thinking of her. The many tears she shed at that moment. Tears of joy.

She felt him freeze in her embrace, unsure of how to react and finally, he returned her affection. His hands pulled her closer and he slowly trailed up her spine. She sighed in relief when she felt the warmth of his palm against the coldness of her shirt, and his lips warm and moving against hers. He kissed her back, their nose softly bumping. Newt Scamander smiled against her mouth, and she did too, unable to fight the intense sensation of happiness that was exploding from her heart. It was the softest most desperate graze. It was everything. They remained together and once out of breath, they parted, their forehead still touching, trying to process what had happened between them.

Tina’s finger traced down her own lips where the fresh memory of that kiss lingered, before finally glancing at him. All she saw was the purest form of tenderness and bliss.

All she saw was sheer love.

 

* * *

 

 

“Will you write to me ?” Newt asked, keeping her close, not ready to let her go just yet.

 

This was it. This was where their paths parted, after a brief moment of handholding when Newt led Tina to the meeting point. The Portkey was a few feet away from them in the form of a swan sculpture, and Achilles Tolliver was waiting by it, staring at them with a smile. Theseus was withdrawn, observing them from the other side of the room, leaving them some privacy. This was, after all, the moment they had dreaded, the moment they always hated.

For the past few years, all they had seemed to do was say goodbye to each other. They both knew that they should be used to it, but every single time, it seemed to hurt even more.

Newt Scamander wished he could come with her, but he knew it was impossible. There was just too much for him to do, and he couldn’t just — leave. Even if he wanted to. He was ready to follow her anywhere, everywhere : wherever she wanted to go, so would he. But today, that dream seemed too far away. He was well aware of how much Tina wanted to stay, it was written all over her beautiful face. But they both had lives of their own. She had her work, and her sister to seek. He had his creatures and a family to look after.

Newt looked at her pained features and the tears dancing in her eyes, wishing they didn’t have to go through all of it again. Would it always be this way ? Would they always cry ? It felt like his heart was shred into pieces. It felt like his soul was taken away from his body.

 

“If you promise to write me back” She chuckled, shedding a few tears.

 

He laughed as well sorrowfully, before pulling her close once more. It had become a tradition to bade farewell with those words, even though in recent times, each one of them had managed to break their promises. But Newton Scamander had a good feeling this time. This time, none of them would stop writing. This time, they had something real to fight for : not just assumptions and dreams. It was real. The distance was only a minor detail in their relationship. _It was only just an ocean_ , he thought bitterly.

He held her close, running his fingers through her dark hair while she had buried her nose into his neck. He could feel her warm tears wetting his shirt, but he couldn’t care less about the dampness. He wanted to remember the shape of her body against his, the warmth of her skin and what it felt like to be so close. The magizoologist needed to memorialize this instant for it was all he would be able to hold on to for the next few months. He pecked a kiss on her forehead, and felt her stare at him, still holding him tight.

 

“Newt ? I stand by what I said. I’m gonna make this right.” She whispered.

 

He nodded, knowing that she wanted to do something to earn his forgiveness. Although he had already pardoned her. He had done so the moment she had crossed the threshold of Theseus’ room, back in St Mungo’s. What was there to forgive though ? Yes. She had hurt him. But she hadn’t done it on purpose. She had been lost, and needed time, and he had pushed her over the edge with his clumsiness. They had both badly played their cards that day. So what was there to forgive, when the real guilty was their communication skills ? It had just been one giant misunderstanding. But in the end, it had turned out fine, hadn’t it ? He smiled, softly, caressing her.

He knew her guilt, he knew her pain. And when Porpentina Goldstein had decided something, it was best not to get in her way. If she wanted to make things right for them, he would let her.

He would always let her do whatever she felt necessary to feel whole again.

Newt sighed. Theseus, on the other side of the room, was eyeing at the clock, biting on his lips. Achilles Tolliver was doing his best not to stare at them too much, but seemed rather agitated.

It was time.

Why did it have to be ?

Without thinking, Newt Scamander cupped Tina’s face between his hands, and crushed their lips once more, taking her by surprise. She leant into the embrace, blushing furiously because this time, they were not alone. And they kissed. For the second time, they kissed, and it made it all worthwhile. Her lips tasted sweet, and they were soft — so soft. He wished he didn’t have to let go. They kissed in front of their audience but they couldn’t care less : they weren’t afraid. Every time they parted, something seemed to go awfully wrong. And this time, they wanted to do things right.

 

“I love you, Porpentina Goldstein.” He said, whispering in her ear as he dropped one more kiss on her cheek, pushing aside one dark strand that was blocking his way.

 

A single tear escaped from her salamander eyes as she stared at him earnestly. They had never said such words, and maybe it was too soon. Maybe — He didn’t care. The war against Grindelwald was raging outside, the world was turning a dangerous place. He refused to see her leave without knowing his feelings. And now she did.

She smiled, before pulling away from him, only to walk closer to Achilles who was waiting for her. There was not an ounce of jealousy on the American Auror’s face, and he waved goodbye at Newt as well, proving him that he was not holding any grudges for what had happened between them. The British wizard watched as the dark haired woman turned to him one last time, twisting a strand of hair between her fingers.

 

“I love you, Newton Scamander.” She told him, tears streaming down her cheek.

 

The words hung between them like a promise. It echoed in their hearts for it was the first time they had both admitted their feelings out loud. She smiled sadly at him one more time, and he did the same, knowing well that it would be the final glance he would get.

And Achilles and Tina both touched the swan sculpture in front of them. And suddenly they were both gone.

And the room felt cold. His life empty.

It was like she had taken his heart with her.

But the future… the future was looking radiant for the first time maybe. And Newt Scamander found himself smiling again, savoring the ghost of the kiss they had just shared.

Next to him, his brother was observing him, trying to hide his pride. His hand fell upon his sibling’s shoulder, as he drew him towards the exit.

Everything had worked out in the end. They would meet again. It didn’t matter how. It didn’t matter when.

They loved each other.

All was well.

 


	18. New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been three months since Newt and Tina parted. Newt has been expecting a letter from Tina for weeks but so far, no news from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there !
> 
> So, as you have seen, I am now posting chapters on Friday nights rather than Saturday morning because I have begun my summer job and waking up at six during week ends is really difficult with all the exhaustion I am dealing with xD I hope you enjoy this chapter, it is very fluffy !
> 
> I cannot believe that we are reaching the end of this story... I am both thrilled and sad :')
> 
> Anyway, I want to thank my beta @Nakahisa for her marvelous edits and corrections ! This girl is the best and always on point ! Thank you love <3
> 
> Now, enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you thought of it ;)

“What’s wrong ?”

 

Newton Scamander was startled by the voice of his brother who had entered his office without knocking, as always.  H e had been  so  absorbed in his reading  that he  hadn’t heard  his brother’s footsteps , unlike the other times — which seemed to amuse the  older one.  In his alarm, Newt had knocked  over  the ink  pot  on his table, and his quill had fallen on his lap,  inky tip  staining his trousers. He groaned, unhappy about the surprise, before whisking away the evidences of his clumsiness with a simple cleansing spell.

Theseus was leaning against the frame of the door, watching him with his usual playful smile, restraining himself from bursting in laughter. It clashed with his usual distant behavior. Whenever they were in the Ministry, they acted like they didn’t know each other —  it was an agreement  which benefited them both. Theseus could treat him like any employee and Newt was free from his protective brother’s grasp. As always, the eldest’s hair was curled on the top of his head, and he was wearing his grey suit — the one for important meetings : it made him look serious and impressive, or so he thought. But as soon as their eyes had met, the magizoologist could tell that his sibling was plotting something. There was a twinkle inside of his deep blue eyes : it was more than  just amusement. It was pride, and exhilaration. Newt was used to it by now. Theseus had been a teaser from  an  early age, but ever since Leta’s death, it felt as if he used humor to hide the hole in his heart : who was he to blame such behavior ?  People mourn in their own ways.  Though, if he was honest, Newt was annoyed to  know  that he was the  r ecipient of  Theseus’s wit . He had always been. 

Shaking his head, he plastered a confident smile on his face, already thinking of a reply to Theseus. A response that would convince his perceptive brother that nothing was wrong, hoping to avoid further questions. After all, he had creatures to save, and thoughts to return to.

His files were open in front of him, but  the magizoologist hadn’t been able to touch them all day. Usually, the idea of rescuing Dragons filled him with enthusiasm  yet today, he  just  couldn’t.

His mind was  wandering elsewhere. His thoughts were lost on the other side of the ocean.

Whatever had been bothering Newt, Theseus seemed well-aware of. His fingers held up in the air, stopping the younger brother before he could even voice a word.

 

“Don’t you dare lie to me, brother.” He threatened softly. “You have that frown, I know when something is bothering you.”

 

Newt sighed , forgoing his plans to look like he was well . His sorrow was exposed to his brother’s eyes, there was no point in hiding it. Theseus could read him like an open book,  not just  because of his profession, but because he was a big brother and it was his job to keep an eye on him. 

There was no denying : something was indeed bothering him. For the past few days, the magizoologist hadn’t been able to focus on his work. He hadn’t talked to his brother about it because he already knew what  Theseus would say. He would tell him to stop being dramatic, that everything would be alright.  Over the past year or so — the two brothers , once divided over everything , had  come to  trust each other. They often spent time together — to their mother’s disbelief, and confided their deepest thoughts. But this time,  Newton Scamander hadn’t said anything, trying to convince himself that he shouldn’t worry.

On the center of his desk, laid a letter from Tina. It was dated from three weeks ago,  and was the last correspondence that she had sent to him. The letter was filled with progressions on Queenie’s whereabouts — though there wasn’t much to say. Tina had made no headway. The American  w itch had also expressed how much she missed him, how she longed for his presence, which always made his heart  ache .

For the past three months, they had been exchanging a lot of letters. Owls came and went every day whether  it was from   his office  at  the fourth floor, or in his small apartment that Theseus had  left after he was completely healed . They both kept each other updated on their daily lives but mostly regretted the time they spent apart. Newt had offered  to go  to New York once his Dragon case  was  solved, but it was taking  far more time than he had imagined. Tina couldn’t possibly make another trip  to England in  the next  few months for she was far too busy looking for her sister. Queenie’s last trail dated back to the day Porpentina had left London : she had tried to contact Jacob, in vain.

Since firing off a reply to Tina’s last letter, there was nothing. Not a word. Newton Scamander was scared. Scared that something had happened to her, wondering whether  he had said something to cause offense to her resulting in the silence, , or if the letter had gotten intercepted. Three months ago,  prior to parting  ways, they had promised each other they would write, especially in this  uncertain time s . Three months ago — She had promised to send him updates on her cases, to assure him that she would be okay.

 

“She hasn’t — she hasn’t replied in two weeks.” He finally whispered, ashamed of himself.

 

Theseus laughed softly, rolling his eyes, before  stepping into his brother’s office. Of course, he knew very well who he was talking about : it was their main subject of conversation.

The Auror was incredibly interested in their relationship, proud to see his brother so committed in a human being — which hadn’t happened since Leta. He often asked questions about them, and tried to give him advice that Newt listened to but never implemented.  T he Magizoologist was happy to have someone to confide his worries in, though it often took time for him to find words to express the many emotions he was feeling.

The eldest sat on the chair in front of him, observing the parchment that  was on display. It was Tina’s last letter and his own drafts. There were drawings also, and somewhere in between, his cases for the Ministry. It was a mess. He was a mess.

 

“What happened to ‘worrying makes you suffer twice’ ?” Theseus chuckled.

 

Newt Scamander laughed audibly at this, caught red-handed. It had been his life motto for some time now, and  he had been contented with that. Until he encountered Porpentina Goldstein. Then,  h e had fallen in love with the most brilliant Auror of her generation.

Living at the other side of the ocean had taught him that every single event was a reason to worry : whenever she was on a mission, his heart couldn’t help but clench at the mere  thought of her getting hurt on the job — especially since she had been assigned to find Queenie. Grindelwald’s fanatic s had proven more than once what they were capable of , in their attacks against the Ministries . First with Achilles Tolliver, then with Theseus. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. Especially when he was on the other  part of the world, unable to be by her side.

Everyday was a suffering. Everyday, there was a new reason for him to worry.

Yes,  choosing not to worry had once been his life motto. Now he knew that he would never be able to stop worrying about her. That was how much he loved her. 

Theseus sighed, understanding his brother’s fear. He too, had once loved so deeply. The Auror pushed both of his hands into the pockets of his very formal suit after giving a quick look at his wrist watch. It was lunch time. He bit his lips, looking down.

 

“You know what, why don’t you come with me ?” He suddenly said. “I’d like you to meet someone.”  At the sight of Newt ’s arched eyebrow, he continued,  holding out his right hand to him. “Come on, it’ll take your mind off things. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”

 

Theseus Scamander had his own idea of fun which both brothers did not share , b ut Newton followed him anyway. There was something about the smug smile the eldest paraded that made him wonder what was going on. He couldn’t help but feel he was about to find out. Besides, the idea of remaining alone with his thoughts wasn’t as appealing as solving the mystery behind Theseus’ behavior. They both went to the Head-Auror’s office, trailing down the Ministry’s many hallways, and Newt recognized that very same spot he had found himself in three months ago. It was were  he had met up with Tina . Where they had kissed for the first time. Something broke within him.

He just missed her.

The Auror opened his door for him to enter, and Newt took a  seat in front of the office, waiting for whatever was planned for him. The desk was far less neglected and organized methodically. Theseus had taken his rightful place behind it, hiding from his brother’s glance the files that were labeled “Confidential”, and was now waving at someone  who was apparently  waiting by the entrance of the office after they had entered .

 

“Please come in.” He said with his usual  stern voice.

 

The door opened quietly, almost timidly, but Newt didn’t turn around  right away,  He was, in fact, studying  the way his brother was now staring at the newcomer with the warmest smile he had ever seen him wear. What kind of stranger would i nvoke such happiness ? He found himself wondering, ready to find out the truth. He  heard footsteps as the person walked in, and Newt remembered that it was only polite to turn around and offer greetings.His ears reacted first, years of tracking experience kicking into action.

He knew the sound of those steps.

Newt froze. It couldn’t possibly be — ?

H e turned his head  so fast he nearly risked getting whiplash , and all he saw was those narrow feet that made the tiniest of sounds, those longs legs he had always admired, those hips he had once touched, when they had danced, forever ago. All he saw was those eyes that haunted his dreams, shining like stars into the darkness, these lips he had softly kissed before, this dark hair he had dared touch.

Porpentina Goldstein was inside Theseus Scamander office. Porpentina Goldstein was in London again, wearing her usual dark coat,  looking  at him  lovingly , observing his reaction.

It was an apparition , it had to be. He had missed Tina so much that he was now seeing Tina’s features on another female worker .  Tina smiled, her eyes twinkling with happiness, love, and unshed tears. His breath hitched.

She had never looked more radiant. He couldn’t believe what was in front of his eyes.

His glance quickly turned to his brother, who seemed very  satisfied with himself.

 

“Newt, I would like you to meet our newest recruit : Auror Goldstein has been transferred to our Ministry, with Madam Picquery’s agreement. Of course, she will integrate  with my team, effective immediately.”

 

His  jaw dropped at the words. Tina, on the other side of the room nodded in agreement, smiling happily.  No words could  describe the Magizoologist’s feelings at that exact moment. It was a strange combination of confusion and profound surprise mixed with slight disbelief. Surely, there was a mistake.  He didn’t think that Tina  would ask MACUSA to be transferred here.  After all, s he had lived in New York all her life — had a steady job she loved and was well-versed with the environment there . Why would she throw that away ?  T he look on her face  seemed to give  him the answer he was scared to admit to himself.

Thoughts swirled around in Newt’s mind, as he tried to string together a sentence.  How did that happen ? How did he not know about this ? He jumped  up from his seat to stare at her in amazement. If this was a dream, an illusion, then he hoped to never wake up from this. He stared at her, afraid that if he blinked, she would disappear forever, her presence much like fantasy.

But Tina seemed real.  There was a shadow on the spot where she stood. Apparitions wouldn’t have that. Newt swallowed hard.  Tina was real. She hadn’t moved since she had arrived, studying his features in silence, perhaps not believing either what was happening.

 

“You — But —” Newt managed to voice. He stopped. 

 

His glance hurried between his brother and the woman he loved so dearly, catching the smile s they exchanged,  feeling  lost. He didn’t want to believe that it was real. Never in his life had he imagined that such  a thing would ever happen. He had so many questions. How did Madam Picquery agree to this ? Surely she knew she would be giving up one of her best asset s ! What happened to the Goldstein apartment back in New York ? What of Jacob and Achilles ? Had they known ? But before he even had a chance to ask them, Theseus had left his desk and was now heading towards the exit of his office, strutting proudly.

 

“I will let you two catch up.” Theseus whispered softly, before disappearing from both of their sight s .

 

They were now alone in the Head-Auror’s bureau. They were now together — reunited at last.

Newt didn’t move, frozen, still incapable of believing what was happening in front of his eyes and Porpentina Goldstein chose not to either,  knowing that the man in front of her needed time to process.  They simply looked at each other, and no words were needed. She understood his shock, his inquiries and answered them with a simple grin. And finally, she took one step closer, as if she was approaching a wild hippogriff. 

 

“I know this is sudden — I wanted to surprise you.” She whispered, playing with a lock of hair, as she always did whenever she was embarrassed. “I’m sorry I didn’t write…” She said, shooting him an apologetic smile. “This is me making things right, Newt. For you. For us.”

 

_ For us. _

He had been waiting forever for her to say such words.  _ Us _ . It sounded beautiful, especially in her mouth. It sounded like hope. It sounded like reality.

The British wizard remembered the promise she had made before leaving, those words she had voiced before  heading  back to where she belonged. She had promised that she would redeem herself for all the pain she had caused him. Even if he had already forgiven her actions. She had done this for him. For them. To give them a chance. She had  chosen to leave New York, despite the possibility of Queenie still in America, and relocate to London.  Tina had sacrificed what she held dear into this world  for  him. Because she loved him — she had told him so herself, many times in her letters.

Newt’s heart raced in his chest, threatening to leave his body. There was no greater proof of love than this. He was sure of it now.

All of this was real. He was not dreaming — he couldn’t be.

Obviously unaware of what was going on inside of her lover’s head, the brunette continued rambling, not daring  to  come closer.

 

“Your brother helped me a lot. He even got me a room in a hotel nearby, until I get my own place.” She continued.

 

He quirked an eyebrow and she nodded to his silent question. Theseus ? His brother had helped her ? It almost seemed inconceivable given that they hadn’t started on the best basis. Had they been exchanging letters ? Was that why he kept on smiling whenever he mentioned her ?

Newt  palmed his face , shaking his head in disbelief, finally understanding the reason his brother asked so many questions about Tina. All this time, he had been plotting their reunion. All this time,  Theseus had been preparing her arrival, without saying anything, even when he was worried.

 

“What can I say ? I have my way with the Scamanders.” She cheekily said, smiling.

 

The British wizard chuckled. And all the confusing, the fear, everything was erased by a crushing wave of euphoria. She was here — with him. They were together. That realization made him  scramble towards her, finally regaining his  motivation . Tina  stepped towards him as well,  meeting him halfway . They both stopped in front of each other, a few inches away, their bodies almost touching before  she engulfed  him in the tightest hug. Both of her arms were around his neck, and his hands had found refuge in her back, caressing the soft fabric of her coat. He held her close, burying his nose into her dark hair that smelled like shampoo, savoring the warmth of her skin. The witch ran her fingers through his tousled hair, with a sigh of relief, playing with a few strands while tears were streaming down her cheeks.

 

“Tina — I can’t believe you are here — that you are staying.” He managed to whisper in the crook of her neck.

 

He  shifted himself to stare into her Salamanders eyes, having missed such a beautiful sight. Their foreheads were touching, and never in their lives had they been closer. He chuckled upon feeling her breath tickling his face. Porpentina Goldstein beamed, before losing herself into his glance as well.

Slowly, hesitantly, she dropped a  chaste kiss on his lips, the first one in months. Her mouth was warm against his, yet tender — as if she was afraid to break him. Newt held his breath, and froze under her touch — like he always did, afraid to do something wrong, before sighing of relief, pulling her against his chest. She giggled, and his heart  soared . They parted for a minute, and her hands were on his cheeks, caressing his freckled skin with affection. She kept on whispering against his how much she had missed him, how she had longed for this moment.

His heart leapt in his chest. He loves her, he thought. It was perhaps, the only thing he could think about at the moment. And, this time, much to her surprise, he  made the first move and captured her lips more boldly, absolutely beside himself with bliss.

A thunderous combination of applause and greetings startled the both of them. The door to Theseus’s office had been left open and in their haste to be with each other, neither Newt nor Tina were aware that their display of affection was shown to all. Bashfully, they stepped away from each other, observing the many Aurors and Ministry employees that had witnessed their moving reunion. They were all cheering happily, and Theseus was among them,  possibly the loudest one in the department.  Newt ran a hand through his hair,  embarrassed at the attention  before  offering a timid smile.

He had gotten carried away for a minute, overjoyed by her return — but he couldn’t find himself to care about their presence. In fact, he wanted to scream to the world that he was irrevocably, madly in love with Porpentina Esther Goldstein. He wanted to tell them that he was the happiest man on earth because of that woman that would soon be their colleague.

 

“Can you, now?” She whispered, before lacing their fingers together.

 

 


	19. And they both lived...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and Tina set up a nice routine now that they are finally reunited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello my friends !
> 
> I am very happy to present to you the 19th chapter (already!!), full of fluff, which I hope you will enjoy ! You will have to let me know, of course ;) We are definitely one step closer to the end :')
> 
> Thank you all for your amazing responses to the last chapters, waking up to your comments truly is the highlight of my saturday mornings ! You guys are amazing !
> 
> I will soon enough present to you a shorter story I have been writing for a while now : it will be very angsty, you better brace yourselves ;)
> 
> I want to thank my beta @Nakahisa, who despite all the work she has at the moment, always manages to get me perfectly and improve my chapters. You are the best !
> 
> Now, please enjoy your reading, and I will see you next week ;)

Porpentina Goldstein had been in London for a month now — and so far, she had loved every second of her new life. Work was fulfilling her needs : Theseus Scamander was a man who seemed to hold a lot of admiration for her — after all, she had tied her boss into a chair once. Never in her life had she enjoyed working alongside someone that much : he was fair, treated her with respect — which was more than she had ever had in her beginning s back home. He didn’t hesitate to give her important work — unlike MACUSA who had been very reluctant at first and she was eternally grateful for that. Here, she  felt appreciated and needed. Here, she was making a difference. It was everything she had ever wanted. It was her dream. Her colleagues were incredibly nice as well, and had welcomed her warmly into the “Ministry Family” as they called themselves. They often invited her  along  to have a drink with them,  and it had turned into her Friday evening tradition .P erhaps  that was  one of the thing s she loved most about this place : she felt like she belonged.

The place itself was not so scary anymore : in no time, she had managed to master the hallways and where they led, the floors and the entrances and exits.  Tina was now perfectly at ease inside the building,  ambling down the corridors with a smile on her face.

At lunch time, Newt would come and join her to eat and she enjoyed putting her cases aside  in order to better appreciate the moment with the man she loved. They  either  ate out, or   packed food and headed to either of their offices for lunch, often walking hand in hand. Not having to prove herself all the time was a relief in her everyday life, and  Tina allowed herself some well-needed breaks with her Magizoologist who was just a couple of floors away.

People knew about the two of them — ever since their reunion, the rumor about their relationship had spread quickly. Tina knew for a fact that the members of her team had started to bet on when they would get married, how many children they would have. She listened to them with amusement : they were ahead of the time. They had only kissed for the first time a couple of month, and none of that was a matter at the time.

In spite of the betting pool , Newt and Tina  chose to continue spending  all their  free time together. After work, he would take her out for a walk, if she wasn’t too tired, and  allow  her  to discover the beauty of London. Diagon Alley was their favorite location : Tina was very fond of the Ice Cream Parlour of his childhood, and they often  bought  raspberry and chocolate , enjoying the sweet tasting treat .  T heir  time together often ended with the two of them  heading back to Newt’s to have dinner, if they didn’t come across a nice restaurant along the way. Tina would spend the evening s with the man she was seeing, and they would talk — laugh and share stories, then feed the creatures and snuggle on the couch —  something that the wizard had come to appreciate a lot. Newt Scamander hadn’t always been comfortable with human touch — but when she was lying on top of him, between his legs, her head resting on his torso,  he couldn’t help but feel complete.  He was now the one to ask for these moment s of tenderness , and Tina was more than happy to provide .

B efore midnight, she would return to her hotel room , and  another perfect day would start.

However, this week, Jacob was visiting the two of them. Left alone in New York, he was missing his best friend and the woman he considered the sister he had never had. He resided in the guest room : the magizoologist had offered to host his best friend to spend more time with him and to keep an eye on his favorite muggle.

Jacob had arrived a couple of days ago, beaming happily and was spending most of his days discovering this city he hadn’t  gotten a chance to explore the last time he had been t here. Though ,  the baker was much disappointed by English food, which wasn’t exactly to his taste, he was most impressed by the architecture and the wizarding world hidden from most Muggle’s view. Tina and Newt had brought him to Diagon Alley and to the Ministry, hoping to make him feel part of their world, even though he had no  magical ability .

They spent a lot of time talking about New York,  reminiscing old memories. Nothing made Jacob Kowalski happier than knowing that his two best friends were finally together. After all, he had been in an ideal position to see their love grow.  _ I always knew you were meant to be. One of you guys had to be brave enough to take the first step _ . And they had laughed.

Tina learnt that her apartment had  been  sold to the new Auror who replaced her at MACUSA — which made her both sad and relieved. At least her home had found another soul to host. When she had left the place filled with memories, she had taken everything with her, leaving only some furniture s . Still, deep down, she somehow missed it. But not as much as she had missed Newt all those months they had spent apart.

Jacob told them that he was now close to Achille s Tolliver who visited his bakery every day, and with whom he went out  for  drinks and discuss ed Muggle related stuff. Both Newt and Tina were relieved that the two men had found a  confidant in each other : they both deserved to be happy. The  b akery was doing amazingly well  and the No-Maj was considering opening another one, down in Tribeca.

All was well. Life went on without her, and it was good.

Those were the thoughts  in Tina’s mind as she  found herself almost falling asleep on top of Newt’s torso. His hand was in her hair, rocking her to slumber. They had stopped talking for a while now, only appreciating the quietness of the apartment. Jacob had gone to sleep about an hour ago absolutely tired and it was getting rather late. Porpentina Goldstein yawned softly.

 

“I have to go back…” She whispered,  shifting herself to move out of his warm embrace.

 

Newt sighed, and from what she could see, he too, was starting to drift off. His green eyes were  half-closed from exhaustion .

When he felt her pulling away, his arms had  instinctively tightened around her body, preventing her from escaping his grasp, and she had fallen back on his chest with a quiet laugh so that she wouldn’t wake Jacob. But when she  raised her head to m e et his glance, the brunette noticed that he wasn’t smiling at all. In fact, he  had not looked this serious since they started dating. S he could tell from the way he was avoiding her eyes that something was bothering him.

 

“What if you didn’t have to ? What if you stayed ?” He finally asked her, much to her surprise.

 

Porpentina Goldstein opened her mouth, ready to answer, but she soon realized that she didn’t know what to say. It wouldn’t be appropriate for her to stay here : after all they had only just begun dating so it would seem quite rushed. Not that she wouldn’t want that — she did, very much. The thought of it was enough to make her heart tremble, but where could she room at? The guest room was already taken by Jacob. In their short period of dating, both Newt and herself had never spent the night together — in fact, she had never spent the night with anyone. Staying with Newt would also mean that other people would eventually find out and talk about them — but since when did she care about that ?

 

“I can sleep in the basement — or on the couch. I don’t mind.” He said, as if he had heard  her thoughts .

 

His  eyes shone with tenderness and hope Tina had a feeling that she  knew how difficult  it still was  for him to realize that she was here, with him, in London. Tina was aware that part of him  expected her to be gone from his life in the morning, t he wizard had told her so himself. But she had no plans of moving away. There was nothing for her to go back to, in New York. 

That’s what she had realized when she had gotten back to MACUSA, after her  short  European adventure. Her apartment was empty now that Queenie was gone, her investigations  led her to nowhere, and more importantly, she missed Newt. Going out with Jacob and Achilles was no longer enough to fill the hole in her heart, even though she loved the two of them dearly. Her mind was always somewhere else, and her heart was always with him. So, the witch had taken upon herself and had begun a correspondence with Theseus, asking him about London, whether life was affordable there, how working at the Ministry was like. He had answered her letters earnestly, and had offered her an Auror job on his team.  At one point in their communication, Tina had begun to feel hopeful again. The American Auror and the Baker had offered their help to move a decade of piled-up books and memories into her magically enlarged case. She had gone to Mrs. Esposito to give back the keys and wish her all the best. The old landlady hadn’t exactly understood why she would leave on such a short notice, but something about the way she smirked made Tina sure that she suspected it was all for a man.

Well,  it was. And  with that, Tina left.  She had left her  old  life behind.

There was  nothing in the world  that could tempt her back to her previous existence. She was way too happy. She was home. It was love.

 

“Just for tonight. Just this once.” Newt pleaded, dropping a soft kiss on her forehead, knowing that it was her very weakness.

 

The witch sighed, considering his idea. It wouldn’t hurt after all, right ? It was only a night — just one night, in his house filled with magical creatures she adored most in the world. One night with him, with the joy of waking up and sharing breakfast just like old times in New York.

She had missed those simple moments that made her life worthwhile. She had missed preparing tea every morning s , and asking him how he wanted his toast.

Besides, she was really exhausted after this day, and had absolutely no will to magic herself back into her hotel room. It wasn’t far, but truth to be told, she didn’t exactly like the setting of  her temporary abode : it was rather dark, and the window wouldn’t always open. It was convenient while she looked for her own place but so far, she had made no progress  with the latter .  T he brunette had visited some apartment s after work but nothing was to her taste. Too expensive — not convenient for her line of work. London didn't seem to have something in store for her — something that would remind her of New York and yet, feel like a fresh start. But she kept on looking, never losing faith.

She  bit her lip.  She knew she would find her bedroom empty  and lifeless if she got back, unlike Newt’s place. She wanted to stay with him , a nd so the brunette caved  in . She told him that she would stay, and watched as the most beautiful smile spread  across  his lips.

She kissed him softly, chuck l ing at his adorableness. He hummed into the embrace with pleasure.

 

“I just want you to be the first person I see when I wake up.” He whispered on her lips, and she smiled.

 

“Well , that would be a problem — It will either be Jacob or me.” She retorted.

 

And they both laughed. They were happy. They were in love.

With slow movement s , they both got up from the couch.  Tina was the first one to be on her feet, and she held out her hand for  Newt to take. Hand in hand with him in the lead, they left the living room, making sure that they were not making too much noise, and headed towards the master bedroom, near the basement door.

Porpentina Goldstein had never entered Newt’s bedroom before. Now that she was standing in his room, she thought that it was very much like him. The first thing that caught her eye was the work desk, filled with papers and books of all kinds. Taking in the room with the keen sight of hers, Tina noted the simplicity of the place.The walls were painted in a cream color, and the floor was made of oak parquet, squeaking at every steps. All the room had was a double bed, a desk and a chair, a bookcase that held more novels than it should, and a wardrobe at a corner. It might look plain, but the small plants Newt had placed in his room made for tasteful decorations. She smiled gratefully as he went to get some clothes for her, letting her borrow one of his shirts he turned into a night jumpsuit. Tina went to the bathroom to change, and ran some water on her face.When she came back, he was sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting quietly for her. He too, had changed into his nightclothes, and she realized that she had never seen him that way. Newt was always the first one to be awake in New York, already dressed when she got out of bed, even though he didn’t have to work. He looked very adorable in his striped pyjamas.

He pulled the covers for her and she  slid gracefully under them, savoring the  softness of the fabric, and the reassuring scent of laundry. It smelled natural, it smelled like him. She smiled.

Newt tucked her in, and reached out to  remove a rogue strand of hair out of her cheeks, and dropped a feathery kiss on her forehead, wishing her a goodnight sleep.

He was about to leave when  Tina caught his wrist, stopping his movement. Newt Scamander turned, confused.

 

“Newt ? You don’t have to sleep in the basement or on the couch.” She whispered earnestly.

 

The brunette didn’t know why she had told him that. It had  been on instinct but it  felt right. Besides, she was in his home, in his bed. Who was she to deny him the comfort of his own mattress ?

Newt was hesitant. He seemed exhausted, yet, not sure of what to do. His eyes kept on going back and forth between the space she had left on the left side, and the door.

 

“Stay. Please.” She said, staring into his green eyes. “Stay.” She repeated.

 

And it was all it took to convince him.

Tina Goldstein felt his warm body slide under the cover s , and he remained  flat on his back,  body stiff and  barely breathing, respectfully distant, but here nevertheless. She caught him staring at the ceiling, and could feel the awkwardness thick in the air.  Clear signs that  Newt Scamander was absolutely not comfortable with this situation which lead her to believe that it was also his first time sharing a bed with a woman. For a  brief moment , the Auror wondered if she had pushed him too much and considered asking him if he’d rather stay in his case. They both needed to rest, and she never wanted to deny him of his comfort. She turned towards him, admiring the outlines of his face into the night and decided to try something. She decided to reach out.

Under the cover s , she took his hand and held it into hers, their fingers tangled.

It was n’t much — it was enough.  The actions leading up to this had been more than they had done so far,  but holding hands was definitely not too much to handle. It was chaste and sweet and it was all they needed for now.

The wizard relaxed, and sighed, finally allowing himself to close his eyes. She soon followed him, drift ing into unconsciousness.

None of them slept well that night — it was new, resting in the same bed. They just had to get used to it, and they knew they would, soon enough. Being this close was unfamiliar, yet very pleasing.

Newt woke up every hour or so, and admired her in her slumber. Tina  would pretend to remain asleep so he wouldn’t worry.

The brunette woke up first  at the break of dawn , for once, and allowed herself to watch him deep into his dreamless torpor, lips slightly opened to let out a sleepy breath, and his tousled hair had  bunched up into random tufts. 

Tina was the first person Newt saw that day as he opened his eyes.

The moment  brown met green , they both  came to a conclusion  that they  c ouldn’t be happier anywhere else. That it was where they were meant to be.

That day,  Porpentina Goldstein had agreed to stay  another night. And again the next night. And the night after that. Everyday after dinner, he would ask her to stay, and she would comply happily. Falling asleep next to each other  was no longer a challenge : she knew now that he liked when she trailed down his back with her fingers before sleeping, he had gathered that she enjoyed cuddling. They  adjusted their routine and got used to spending the night together so much that when one of them wasn’t there — the other was unable to sleep. 

Tina wasn’t sure when exactly her belongings started shifting over, but it all started when her toothbrush found its place in his bathroom, and then her slippers by the entrance. Both of their coats hung on the hook side by side, and the table would always be set for two. He made enough room for her to store her clothes in the bedroom’s wardrobe, agreed to give her the right side of the bed. Soon enough, all that Tina had brought over to England had been transferred to his small apartment, and nothing seemed to make Newt happier.

Of course, she would always say that it was only temporary, that she was still looking for her own apartment.  But  one day she didn’t. One day she stopped looking for places  after her work.

S he stayed with him every single night.

 


	20. ... Happily ever after ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All is well that ends well, right ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear friends.
> 
> I don't know what to say. I have no words except thank you. This story is now reaching its end, and what a ride, right ? When I began to write this story, I had no idea that people would like it so much. You were all amazing, thank you, to all of you, whether you followed me from the first chapters or have just joined the ride, just thank you for your enthusiasm and your lovely responses to my work.
> 
> This story is my baby. It's my victory against writer's block. It's the longest fanfiction I have ever written, and finished. I'm incredibly sad to have finished it for it brought me so much along the way. Thank you for accompanying me on this ride !
> 
> Thank you to @Nakahisa my wonderful beta who made everything perfect, and to @bea_goldstein for her undying support and love. If it wasn't for them, this story would have never been as it is.
> 
> Now, I will add another chapter next week, a chapter that will link this story to the sequel. If you are interested by the sequel, then, I shall say that we will meet again in a week or so. If not, then, I hope you enjoy the end, and please, let me know what you thought of it.
> 
> Enjoy <3

They were reunited. All of them, together, in the same room, cheering happily and talking loudly. Who would have thought  it possible , after everything that had happened ?

It had been another thrilling adventure. Many tears had been shed, but it didn’t matter. They were all here, now, friends despite their differences.  _ And it was perfect _ , Newt Scamander thought.

From the back of the bakery, he spotted Achilles Tolliver, with a glass of rosé in his hand, laughing with Tina. He was still the same, as if nothing had changed over the past year and half where they hadn’t seen each other. His hair was still curly, his eyes filled with kindness, and the same charming smile was drawn on his delicate lips. Archie was still  very much  well-groomed, though he had decided to grow a curly blond beard that suited his face. His hand was on Tina’s shoulder, bringing them closer, but this time, Newt wasn’t feeling any jealousy, nor sadness  at the sight. They were friends, good friends, and perhaps it was what they had been all along. His soft voice echoed in the crowded bakery, and the British wizard smiled. He had missed his friends.

His observant green eyes settled on the woman next to the Auror — the one and only love of his life. Tina was wearing the sweet summer dress she knew he loved : it was crimson, made of muslin and tight around her waist, but lose on the skirt. It spiraled around her hips whenever she moved, which made her every steps even more gracious. The witch had cut her hair a little, so that it was now resting over her shoulders. The  beautiful woman hadn’t changed one bit : her eyes were still burning, her smile radiant, and he felt his heart tremble when she caught his glance and winked at him happily. Newt blushed.

Jacob Kowalski, the man of the evening, was standing proudly in the middle of his Bakery filled with the people he liked most which, of course, included his best friends and some of his good clients. He had waxed his mustache and put on a formal tuxedo for this special occasion, and was running back and forth, making sure that everyone had something to drink and eat. Indeed,  tonight was a grand celebration.  After a few months of renovations, Kowalski Quality Baked Goods  would be reopening its door s the next morning with new pastries for everyone to discover. The kitchen had been updated to fill the shop’s needs, and the muggle had hired  a third worker  to help him full time, besides his assistant Henry — who was present among them.

They had all been invited, Jacob insisted  on them coming since they were the reason the bakery was a success. Newt had given him the funds to open it, Tina had always been supportive of his profession, even when she had learnt that he and Queenie were dating. Achilles was his most loyal client : he came by ever mornings before work to get his coffee and then his pastries for the day. They were all friends, here.

I t felt amazing. It had been an adventure,  and in the end, they all got their happy ending.

His glass of champagne in his hand, the Magizoologist chuckled and made his way towards the door silently, overwhelmed by the atmosphere that hung within the room. It was hot, people were talking loud and he needed to find himself alone with his thoughts for a minute. Outside, the air was cool, New York was silent — perhaps for the first time.

Newt Scamander found himself observing the magnificent city he had never thought he would see again. The buildings were touching the clouds, and the Statue of Liberty held her torch high into the sky, her benevolent eyes settled on the town she was protecting. It was beautiful. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed it. The wizard closed his eyes to enjoy the breeze that caressed his face and ruffled his tousled hair. It was a quiet night in  May, and the air smelled of Spring. He had never seen New York in anything but winter or fall, and he had to admit that seeing the flowers blooming in Central Park and walking on the streets without snow had changed everything.  He sat on the sidewalk, sipping champagne from time to time, relishing the quietness of the night above his head. Yes. He had missed New York.

This city had given her everything. He smiled, remembering how he had met the woman of his dream s outside a bank. She had pushed him  against a wall, and the thought of it alone was enough to make him smile. Everything had started here, in this very place. Everything had almost ended there as well — but  that was only a bitter-sweet memory now. 

 

“What’s on your mind, Scamander ?” He heard behind his back.

 

Startled, Newt lightly jumped, obviously not expecting any company. He had thought he had made his exit quietly, but he had been spotted. And suddenly, he was not alone anymore. Achilles Tolliver had joined him, and was now sitting next to him, on the pavement. He had  kindness in his sea-blue eyes — Newt smiled, accepting his presence. 

 

“I had forgotten how beautiful it was —” He whispered. “— New York at night, that is.”

 

Archie nodded, grinning.  B oth men remained silent for a couple of minute s , lost in the infinity of the beyond, staring at the stars staining the dark sky, and the moon that had lit their reunion. When they had arrived, a couple of days prior, Achilles Tolliver had warmly greeted them. Newt had been  a bundle of nerves during the trip to America, anxious about how strange  things were between them now that he was officially dating Tina.  They had exchanged communication prior to this meet-up, but putting words on paper felt easier than having to meet the American face-to-face again.  He remembered what he had felt whenever he saw Tina and her Auror kissing, holding hands and didn’t want to make his friend experience the same pain. Achilles, however, had  not held any grudges against any of them.  Newt was grateful for that — grateful to have such a good friend in his life, ready to put his feelings aside for the sake of their relationship. Besides, the American Auror had moved on. 

Newt sighed. They were comfortable here, just the two of them away from the party. No one seemed to have noticed them absence. As much as he loved Jacob, the British wizard had never exactly been one to enjoy parties. He was better off outside, with his very quiet friend.

 

“Congratulations, for —” Newt started

 

“Felicitations to you two for the —” Achilles said at the same time.

 

T hey laughed, knowing exactly what each other had meant by that.

After their last encounter in London, Achilles and Newt had began to write to each other on a regular basis, exchanging news from each side of the ocean. The American Auror had initiated it a few months before Tina moved to England.  A bout a year after they had last seen each other,  Archie had sent news that  he had  gotten acquainted with a woman. 

She was working at the Ministry in Department Seven, and they had met during a case. Achilles had taken a liking to her — and after a while, had decided to ask her out. She had agreed and so their story had begun. He had described her as one of the wittiest people he had met, and had enclosed a photograph of the happy couple. Newt had put it in their living room, back in London, where pictures of his friends and relatives were on display. On the moving picture, they were dancing and the woman — her name was Vivian — was laughing. She had red hair and brown eyes, she was shorter than him but seemed to possess a strong spirit. Both of them radiated care and love.

Vivian hadn’t been able to come tonight, held back by MACUSA, but Newt Scamander was sure that they would get to meet someday. He was looking forward to it.

It was good to know that Achilles Tolliver had moved on , even though it had been rather complicated  back then . What was important was that now, he had a promising future in front of him and a beautiful woman by his side. He would be merry, Newt was sure of it.

 

“Are you boys runnin’ away from the party already ?”

 

Interrupted in their thoughts, both men turned their heads to see who was now joining them, and smiled. Jacob Kowalski was making his way by their side, right hand full of pastries for them to share, the other one  holding onto a glass of rosé. He handed out his baked goods, and Newt took a bite into what looked like a niffler bun. A shiver ran through his spine as he tasted the delicious baked creature,  as much as he loved seeing his creatures be the inspiration for his best friend’s baked goods, it still unsettled him when he actually had to bite into the near-realistic pastries.  It was sweet, and still warm — and Newt sighed of appreciation. In the meantime, Jacob had found his place next to the magizoologist, careful not to stain his tuxedo with his beverage.

Both Tolliver and Scamander congratulated their favorite muggle for his hard work and for the incredible party. And then, they all fell  into a comfortable silence .

 

“So. All’s well that ends well, right ?” Jacob started after a few minutes of silence, earning the glance of his two friends. “Look at us. A muggle, an Auror, a Magizoologist. Who would have thought ?”

 

They chuckled.  I t was true. Who would have thought that people  from different worlds and were never meant to meet each other , could  turn out to become such friends ? 

Relationship of any kind  between wizarding folk and the no-majs were forbidden in the United States,  so  Newt had tried really hard not to get attached to Jacob the first time he had met him,  but had failed. The Wizarding World was supposed to remain unknown to the No-Maj but because of him, the baker had been brought into their world of magic and wonders, and Newt Scamander was more than grateful to have such an incredible man by his side, supporting his every decision. Jacob was the sweetest muggle he knew, ready to do anything to help his fellows. He was trustworthy and had helped him on many occasions. 

And then, he had befriended the man his Tina had been seeing, even though he had tried to  dislike  him. Achilles Tolliver with his naive trust and his kindness, had made his way into the magizoologist’s life in a most unexpected way. They had an odd friendship — but it was theirs  and they wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Newt Scamander raised his glass, and his two companions did the same.

 

“Yes — Everything is as perfect as it could be. To us !”

 

Their glasses clinked loudly, and they sipped their beverage with a smile on their lips. They were about to cheerfully continue their conversation when a voice behind their back made them stop.

 

“What are you three talking about ?” Porpentina Goldstein asked, leaning against the doorway, a playful smile on  her lips.

 

The trio turned around, guilty  smiles on their faces, as if they had been caught red-handed.  The brunette had this ability to make them feel somehow culpable — of what, they didn’t know. It was perhaps why she was such an amazing Auror. She had this tone, and the way her eyes burnt — it made her formidable. Tina didn’t move, expecting an answer. They all tried to stammer something, but none of their excuses matched. In the end, Achilles ran back into the bakery, pretending he had forgotten his coat inside — it was after all getting a bit chilly. Jacob mentioned a batch of croissants in the oven, and escaped as well in a blink of an eye.

Newt was the only one not to run away from the brunette, and he got up from the ground, smiling. And she smiled back. The oldest Goldstein closed the door behind them, and slowly made her way to him. She crossed her arms over her chest, and was shivering : she too, hadn’t taken her jacket.

 

“Are you running away from me, Mr. Scamander ?” She teased, once facing him.

 

He laughed, before taking her hand and pulling her closer to him. Newt took his own coat off and wrapped it on her shoulders so that she wouldn’t catch her death of cold. His long blue cloak suited her so well —  and she thanked him for it by adjusting his usual bowtie and suspenders.  While doing so, Tina bit her lip, and he knew she was focused on her task. He knew her so well — having spent a year and a half by her side, waking up to her face, finding rest in her arms.

His hands landed on her hips, and he took his time to observe her as she was now, knowing that he could never get enough of her.

 

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are ?” He whispered.

 

Tina grinned, putting her hands on his neck, playing with the hair on the back lovingly, lost into his eyes. Newt felt his heart pound inside of his chest. He wanted to kiss her every features until she told him to stop. Her adorable nose, her lids, her mouth… She was beautiful.

 

“Is that why you asked me to marry you ?” She teased him again.

 

The wizard chuckled, and took her hand to his lips to kiss it. He eyed  the ring  resting fittingly on her finger , and smiled. He had asked on her the anniversary of their meeting — with great difficulty for various reasons. Some of them involving a very jealous Pickett, an over-protective Dougal and a very whimsical Benjamin.  The lead up to the proposal had been full of unexpected incidents, but  Newt Scamander had  managed to asked Porpentina Goldstein to marry him, and she had said yes, tears dancing in her eyes.

I t had been the best moment of his life.

They were engaged now —  together  for the better or worse. So far, it was definitely for the better.

Newt carefully tucked a dark strand of hair behind her ear, and lingered on her burning cheeks. She had closed her eyes, and her heart was beating as fast as his — she was waiting for him to bind their lips together, with an expectant smile. His finger fell on her chin, and he pulled her closer to his face, eyes wide open so that he could take all of the details in. A few heavy seconds hang between them and the outside world was erased. It was just a witch and a wizard in a deserted street of New York, where their story had begun. It was just the two of them : they were in love, they were happy. They had come in a full circle.

 

“You are beautiful, my Tina.” He whispered against her slightly opened lips. “ And I love you for who you are.”

 

U nable to wait  any longer , Porpentina Goldstein captured his lips,  the sudden movement causing Newt’s coat  to fall onto  the ground with a soft  thud. They had kissed before, on numerous occasions — however, each time felt different. Each kiss felt like the first, and his heart missed a beat whenever he sensed the warmth of her mouth against his. Newt couldn’t exactly picture anything more overwhelming that kissing that woman, and he wondered whether this feeling would ever go away. He hope d not. Closing his eyes, it was like  his  brain decided to spill every single memory he had stored in his mind.  Images of her  face danced in his head, her smile — her everything.

Newt felt Tina shudder, and he wondered whether it was from the cold. But before he had the chance to find out, a voice interrupted their kiss.

  
  


“Hey, lovebirds ! Time to dance !”

 

Startled, they broke their embrace to face a very joyful Jacob, before laughing. They were used to people interrupting their little bubble of love — after all, they lived in an apartment full of magical creatures who seemed very jealous that they weren’t getting Newt’s full attention. At work, they remained professional — though  there had been this one time when Theseus had walked out on them kissing in the  deserted corner of Newt’s office.

They eyed the inside of the Bakery where everyone was dancing happily. Achilles had enchanted the gramophone so that it would play louder — carefully so that the muggles wouldn’t notice his wand and right now, a slow song was playing : perfect for a couple dance.

 

“Shall we, Mrs. Goldstein ?” Newt asked.

 

“Yes, we shall.” Tina answered.

 

* * *

 

aJacob Kowalski held the door for his friends, and watched them go in the middle of the room, hand in hand with a proud smile on his face. There was something about Newt Scamander and Porpentina Goldstein, in the way they looked at each other, talking without words, something about the smile they exchanged. They radiated light and joy, beaming like the sun whenever they were around each other.  T he baker knew that it was what love felt like. He had experienced it too. They were meant to be, and the muggle had always known that.

Their story hadn’t been easy, but it wasn’t the journey but the destination that was important, he thought. Yes, their story hadn’t been easy, but it would soon find it’s happily ever after. The wedding was set to be in October, in London. Porpentina had asked him to walk her down the aisle, and he had accepted with tearful eyes, touched that she would consider him family.

The muggle chuckled . For the first time in his life, he wasn’t thinking about Queenie, about Grindelwald’s rally. For the first time since that dreadful day in Paris, he felt utterly, undoubtedly content. He was surrounded by his best friends, his business was thriving, Newt and Tina were getting married.

_ All is well in the best of worlds,  _ he thought. And nothing could ever tarnish this incredible feeling of euphoria. Not the war, not Grindelwald, not even the distant  memory of Queenie. Nothing.

He smiled softly.

Jacob Kowalski made his way back to the party lighthearted, with the assurance that from now on, everything would be alright.

 


	21. ... Or did they ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching from a safe distance the party going on, Queenie Goldstein finds herself wondering where her loyalty truly lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends !
> 
> Last, but not least update for this story. This is the chapter that will link everything to the sequel ;) I shall begin posting it next week, same time, same place ;) You can always subscribe to my profile not to miss it !
> 
> I will, as well, I think, starting next week, begin to publish a shorter story I have been working on called Sleeping Beauty ! I hope you will like it as well ;)
> 
> As always, a huge thank you to my friend and beta @Nakahisa for her amazing correction and advices <3  
> Thanks to bea_goldstein without whom this story would have never seen the light  
> Thank you, all of you, for your comments, your kudos, your enthusiasm ! You are the best <3
> 
> Thank you so much for accompanying me on this amazing journey ! 
> 
> Happy reading <3

The woman watched from a safe distance, heart aching, the party in full swing at 443 Rivington Street. Hidden behind a newspaper booth that was now closed, she observed those familiar faces with a pained smile on her delicate lips. A tear rolled down her rosy cheeks, and her hand fell over her chest, trying to prevent  the pieces of her broken heart  from shattering even further. She wanted to join them — she wished she could. But she knew damn well that they wouldn’t accept her here. Not after what she had done.

Queenie Goldstein sighed. When she had joined Grindelwald, she hadn’t thought about how much she would miss her sister.  But  she did. It had been years since Tina and herself had talked, years since their last encounter — which so happened to be their last fight. Thinking about this now, it had been foolish of them to argue over Jacob. She had lost him too, that day at the rally — and she knew that nothing would bring him back to her. Yet —  everything she did had  all been for him. For them.  F or the future generations of witches and wizards. Maybe one day, magical and non-magical people would be able to love each other freely, and that was a fight she was proud to be a part of.

Even if she had lost everything.

It was  _ for the greater good. _

However  there was not a day when she didn’t think about them, her family. Porpentina Goldstein had not only been her sister, but her mother figure, the only one she had ever had. When they had lost their parents, Tina had taken care of her, made sure she had a home and food on her plate everyday. She had protected her at school against the mean thoughts of her classmates, had found her a  job at MACUSA later on. Everything Tina  did  was  done  to make their lives easier,  and Queenie was more than grateful for that. They had relied on each other to fight against the darkness of this world they had never asked to be a part of. Everything they had achieved, they did together. They were more than sisters. There was this bond between them, and it was unbreakable. At least she hoped so…

Queenie had chosen her side. And so did Tina. But it hadn’t kept the youngest sister from keeping an eye on the woman she had shared everything with. For the past few years, she had spied on her from time to time, following her achievements, her adventures. The blonde witch had seen her going to dinner with Achilles Tolliver, meeting Newt Scamander at the docks. She had witnessed the hesitation of her heart, heard her desperate call for help — but had never showed herself. It was too risky. If Grindelwald ever heard about her lonely  and unauthorized  jaunts, she would  be severely punished — she knew that. But  how could she keep her distance from her older sister?  Tina’s thoughts, always so clear to her, were louder than ever in her head, especially since she had found her solace in Newt Scamander’s arms.  Intense emotions amplify the thoughts after all.

The legilimens had always known that these two would find themselves in each other. She had known ever since they had met the magizoologist. They were meant to be : both givers, yet so different, they managed to balance one another without  extinguishing  the flame that animated their souls. It was beautiful. It was rare. It was true love.

Her blue eyes settled on the couple kissing in front of the bakery, and she smiled, as warmth invaded her body. Tina was happy. She could feel it. And so was Newt.  B oth their hopes echoed in her mind like the most beautiful song. They were kissing innocently in the deserted street, and the beautiful ring was shining bright in the moonlight. They were now engaged, and the blonde witch had never been more proud. Her sister, ‘plain’, ’boring’, ‘annoying’ Porpentina, as their classmates called her behind her back, was finally getting the happy ending she deserved.  T he man  whom she had chosen to live with for the rest of her days was the most incredible person in this world. His love and adoration for his fiancée was beyond words, and genuine. The couple went back inside, holding hands, happily showing their love for the world to see.

Suddenly, under  the moon light , Queenie distinguished the familiar outline of the man she had so desperately wanted to marry. The man for whom she had started this all. Jacob Kowalski was taking a  breath of fresh air , grinning joyfully. For the first time ever since she had been spying on him, her presence was erased from his thoughts : the baker was content with his life. Without her.

Her heart clenched in her chest, and for a moment, she wondered whether she would be able to bear such a sight. The worst thing about  being in this situation was that she  had to witness her loved ones living their lives as if she had never been a part of it, while she remained stuck in the past.

Tina was about to get married. Jacob had  moved on. Queenie kept fighting for something they both didn’t acknowledged. Why bother ? The witch sighed. 

There wasn’t a thing about that human being she didn’t miss. She smiled, remembering how his mustache felt on her cheek whenever he kissed her, the warmth of his palm against hers and his kind, benevolent eyes. She could almost remember the way he made her heart swoon by whispering how much he loved her in her ear. It was the same man she could see in front of her, the man she had loved, she still loves — yet everything was different.

Maybe she was.

Yes, she was.

And everything tasted bitter.

Queenie Goldstein shrugged. Dwelling on the past wasn’t helping her case, and besides, she had come here for a reason. There was no point in beating herself up for this situation. She had chosen her side, and she hoped that one day, they would see how right she was. In the meantime, she would keep doing what she did best : protecting them from the shadows. Maybe one day, they would figure out that she had never meant any harm. Right now, it felt like wishful thinking.

Her feelings were getting the best of her, and she had come here to fulfill an important mission. There was no time to  waste . Drawing her wand in front of her, emerging from the shadow s , she pointed it at the No-Maj that was opening the door to the bakery.

 

“Imper i o !”

 

Jacob stopped moving, confused, and Queenie could feel that he was complying to her spell.  He didn’t have the strength nor the training to resist one of the three unforgivable curses. It pained her to have to use such a charm, but there was no other way. For many reasons, she couldn’t do it herself, and she knew that Jacob would have never approached her  on his own will  without informing the others first . After the fiasco with her love potions, last time she had met Newt, she promised herself  that she would stop enchanting the muggle who didn’t have any way to  defend himself.  _ This is  _ _ for the greater good _ , she tried to convince herself. And this time, she strongly believed it.

Slowly, the man crossed the street and made his way to her in a relaxed walk. It was as if his entire body had been cleansed of any trails of bad feelings, anxiety and worries. He was at peace. He was charming. He would probably remember it this time — she hoped.

 

“Honey” She whispered, as he stood in front of her, waiting for direction. He didn’t flinch, didn’t show any kind of emotions, and it was perhaps what hurt the most.

 

She wouldn’t mind his anger, his despair. She just wanted him as he was, because that was why she loved him. But Jacob kept still, her spell was working. Tears in her eyes, Queenie let her finger trail the chubby cheeks of the man she had wanted to marry all those years ago. « I’m so sorry to keep doing this to you — » She apologized mostly for herself, and later on, for him, when he would wake from his torpor.

 

“You have to — Tell Newt and Tina — Tell them to postpone the wedding. They are in danger — tell them, please.” She said urgently, and Jacob nodded, calm as ever.

 

Queenie bit her lip. It had to work ! There was no other way to warn them — it had to work. Even though she had chosen to fight alongside Grindelwald, Queenie wouldn’t let anyone, anything hurt her sister, her family. She had chosen her side, but her interest was and had always been to protect Tina. Above all.

This was what she had been doing all these years. Both Newt and Tina were interesting subjects to Grindelwald because of their proximity to Dumbledore. A few times, followers had tried to attack them, but Queenie had tipped them off, and they had targeted Achilles Tolliver and Theseus Scamander instead. It wasn’t the best solution, and deep down, she regretted that people had to be hurt. But it was the best she could do. It was enough to save those she loved.

 

“I love you. This is all for you. For us. You tell them, honey — warn them.”

 

Her hand adjusted his tuxedo as a tear escaped from her beautiful sparkly eyes.  B efore she let him go, she placed a soft kiss on his right cheek. It was tender and soft : exactly how she remembered it. It left a single lipstick mark, and she didn’t bother wiping it off. Jacob turned around, and she watched as he re-entered the building. There was a couple of tense seconds, and suddenly, the music stopped. The couple who were dancing froze. Queenie saw the look on Tina’s face, and Newt’s hand on his fiancée’s hip.

Queenie knew that her message had been passed. She had been discovered.

And as she saw Tina rushing to the street — followed by Newt, the blonde witch apparated away, hoping to have saved her sister’s happiness.

There was a loud scream into the street.

 

“Queenie !”

 

But she was already gone.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you guys think ?
> 
> Let me know in the comment section or you can also ask me questions on twitter @EvilMarie1 !  
> See you in a week ;)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Happier](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18718885) by [Nakahisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakahisa/pseuds/Nakahisa)




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